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Punjabi tu

For Spanish, I pretty much only use it with customers at work, and nice, elderly people. I guess I would use it if I were in a court for something in Spanish, but otherwise, I don't really use it at all.

Tagalog. I lived with my ex-wife and her family for years. The more people in the house, the happier Mom was. They all spoke Tagalog. One day I heard my brother-in-law speaking to someone on the phone and it sounded much different. I asked him why and the call and he said he was speaking formally.

Hopefully someone can explain better.

I just learned the other day that in English "you" is the old formal.

Here in Pennsylvania, we know that Quakers used thee and thou far longer than anyone else. Turns out, that was a protest movement. You and yours were used for nobility and royalty, the piece I was reading said the "royal we" is a leftover from this setup.

As a protest against classism and politics, Quakers refused to use you and yours at all and used thee and thou for everyone regardless of status. Instead, common usage English went the other way and adopted you and yours for everyone.

My mother met old Quaker ladies in the 1950s who still used thee and thou in common conversation.

Czech (and Slovak, mostly also Polish) use formal/informal you similar to German or French. (At least from my limited understanding of those.)

Formal: High schools, universities, work environment, courts, etc. You also use it when you're speaking with older people or when you want to show respect to person you're talking to.

Informal: Everywhere else. It is also used when you want to indirectly insult person where formal should be used.

Life hack: You can use informal absolutely everywhere when you're old (even when it'd be very disrespectful otherwise) and nobody gives a shit.

I've literally never heard "您" in my entire life, except for like Chinese TV Drama or in a Chinese-Language class where the word is being taught.

That said, I'm not ever near politicians or bussiness people, just another "filthy peasant".

Used in Mandarin speaking places. You is "你" ni 3rd tone, You (Formal) is "您" nin 2nd tone(?), the 您 character even has the 心 part to show how much "heart" you meant when you use that pronoun lol, its literlly 你 (you) + 心 (heart).

I don't think Cantonese even has a formal "you", everything is so colloquial and informal.

I live in Japan, and of course there are formal ways to say everything, but in formal and polite situations, people actually try to avoid saying 'you' (anata, 貴方) as much as possible. Because even that can feel too personal. I only see it in writing that addresses the reader indirectly, like in surveys.

If you do address or refer to them, you typically use their title/position (e.g., 'sensei' for doctors and teachers, 'Mr. President'), or name and appropriate honorific (e.g., Tanaka-san).

P.S., a lot of what might've been archaically formal and polite ways to say 'you' have become ironically rude and/or condescending. Like, 'KISAMA!' (貴様), kimi (君) (sovereign/lord), onushi (お主) (lord).

In Mexican Spanish, you would default to formal 'you' in most public interactions (although not all people do this). You would also use formal language when talking to a teacher or an authority.

• Formal 'you' (singular): usted
• Formal and informal 'you' (plural): ustedes
• Informal 'you' (singular): tú

Note that the informal and formal 'you' in plural are the same.

Fun fact: formal language in Spanish is more than just formal 'you'.

E.g., if you're working at a fancy shop and wanted to ask a customer "how may I help you?", you would say "¿en qué le puedo ayudar?" (formal) instead of "¿en qué te puedo ayudar?" (informal). This question does not have 'you' in Spanish.

In French/France I use the formal vous when talking to strangers or customers. Here people generally switch pretty quickly to the informal tu when they get to know each other (at my first day at work with my colleagues and boss). But I'm quite an oddball since I use the formal address even for kids, which no one does. Also my neighbor was a bit annoyed at me for continuing to say vous to her after having met her one month ago. It can make people feel old.

Any adults I don't know, older adults in my family including my friends' parents (many don't, I'm just a bit old fashioned, lol) and employees at work? Goes for both French and Spanish. 👍

I speak Spanish, and use the formal pronoun when in any formal situation, eg. addressing a stranger.

Traditional spanish has a formal you (usted/ustedes), however Argentinian Spanish, which is the version that I'm most familiar with mostly uses vos instead of usted and tu, and doesn't typically differentiate between formal and informal

I speak Italian, German, and French. The rules for when to use the formal address are complex, differ from language to language, and are changing every day.

The formal address is largely deferential. You invoke it both to imply status and emotional/social distance. That's the common thread I noticed in these three languages. Italians being more informal, you end up using the informal address with a lot more people; German society is more formal and you keep your distance even from people (like coworkers) that you have known for a long time.

But I would say that in all three of these languages, formality is becoming more and more infrequent. I think this is illustrated very well by the way media and web sites address users and visitors, which is going quickly from the formal form to the informal.

There seems to be also an influence from English, which has no formal address. I notice that in dubbed media, like movies and TV shows, that frequently don't really know what to do with the different forms available in the context of source material that doesn't have it. Sometimes it's amusing, like the scene where Captain America (I think) used the informal address to his superiors, which would have been absolutely insulting for a military officer, akin to calling them "bro" in English.

I could answer my own question, actually!

For reference, I'm in western austria, speaking German. The class I'm taking is A2 French.

My region is pretty different from most of the German speaking 'world'. We use the formal you much less. The informal one is more or less th default, except:

You're in secondary school. The teachers will use the informal one for students and the students have to use the formal one for most teachers. In high school, students can technically request that teachers use the formal you for them, but nobody does. I teach night school, and nobody used the formal you. Most of my students are very roughly around my age.

You're seeing a doctor you don't repeatedly go to, e.g. at the hospital. We use informal you for the specialists and GPs we see regularly, unless they're ~60+.

You're a bachelor's student. Formal you for both students and professors. Unless the teacher is a masters or PhD student, then informal you both ways. Masters and PhD students tend to use informal you with professors and vice versa, but some professors will be the exception and there will be formal you both ways.

Court. Formal you, except between a lawyer and their client.

Some stuffy, old fashioned workplaces use formal you, but only between boss and employees, very very rarely between employees. If it's some higher level management person you don't usually work with, it's more likely you'll use formal you both ways.

Super specific, but 80+ year old people who've never lived outside a city will want kids to use formal you for them, but they'll use the informal one for the kids.

German tourists. We're aware that informal you is more common in Germany, and try to me courteous. Except those of us who hate tourists, lol.

That's all the exceptions I can think of! For everyone else, including strangers (e.g. when asking for directions, cashiers, waiters, etc.) we use the informal one!

In Amharic, spoken in Ethiopia, you use the the formal you in formal settings (mostly work or legal related matters) or when speaking to an elderly person. The informal you has variations for women and men but the formal you is gender neutral.

Greek: formal you is usually used with older people (but not family), teachers when you are a student or higher ups in general. Wherever I've worked we used the informal form but I don't know how common this is. Also retail workers typically use the formal form with customers so I do the same with them but many people do not. It seems to be slowly going away as a feature.

Spanish: I'd use the formal a bit less than in greek but it depends on location. In Spain it seems pretty rare but some central and south American countries use it much more.

In Finnish, we have a formal 'you', but it's kind of archaic and I there aren't really any situations where it should be used. In general, you should avoid formal speech. It's rarely used and sticks out, so instead of being polite it might even make you sound sarcastic.

Coming from that culture, German 'sie' felt awkward at first. It feels pointless, but at the same time quirks like this also make cultures more interesting. I remember this meme video where a guy insults a cop while addressing him with 'du', but as the cop turns towards him, he quickly corrects it with 'sie', making the insult 100 times better. That just wouldn't work here.

In English, I use it all the time because 'thou' has been dropped.

Dutch is now my main language. I rarely, almost never, use the formal "U" or "Uw". It's an archaic thing.

I notice it's still in use in government communication. I also notice it in (older) literature.

In Portuguese we use the formal "você" in a similar way to the French "vous"- for people you just met, people who are older, customers, etc. In some families (usually very traditional or conservative families) children will address parents and other elders by "você". Then there's another level where you address someone by their name or their title, usually reserved for people of a "higher rank" or a very formal setting, like "O senhor/a senhora conhece o Lemmy?", or "O João gosta de memes?"

Funny thing is, in Dutch, I feel it is way more common that people correct you for using a formal form than the other way around.

Everyone thinks in terms of america but in england you is the formal version of you.

Never. Norwegian, by the way.

Similar to German, the plural can be used as a formal version of singular (Du = Du, Sie = De).

But I've never used it outside of cases such as acting obnoxiously formal with friends. And I don't think anyone else does either. Hundred years ago, maybe. Not today.