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I think if someone implied they were bringing someone without at least asking, as this person did, I would match their rude energy and say "I did not agree to that, so here are my boundaries."
The way the other party phrased it would annoy the shit out of me. 'I'm bringing my best friend." Ok, so why don't you date them? Causes way more friction than asking "Hey, I know it's unconventional but I would like a friend to be there just for my safety since we don't know eachother yet."
This happened to me, but we all went back to my apartment and played Smash Bros. I did not get laid and I have no regrets.
Man, I think I'd prefer that outcome. Getting laid is easy compared to finding fun people to game with
You are not wrong. But I think you are being an asshole about it. You could have said "that is cool, but I'm not paying for her food" and is it. No need to be rude.
I had a girl bring a guy friend along on our first date without giving me a heads up for the same reason. I was like, ok that's a little weird but whatever. I'm certainly not going to give someone shit for doing something that makes them feel comfortable. Ended up chatting it up with the guy friend who turned out to be super cool.
So me and the girl end up seriously dating after a while and she later tells me that she spent most of our first date trying to subtly get her friend to leave so that she could spend more time with me.
Ok thats nice
It took me far too long to realize what "apeach" or "abutt" meant
Clbuttic mistake to make
Last time a chick brought a friend with her, I got on better with the friend... And I went home with the friend. Pro tip, if youre bringing a friend. Dont make it a friend thats better to talk to than you are.
I say get it while you can, you don't turn your back on love, no no no. -Janis Joplin
Or do.
It wouldn't bother me if somebody wanted to bring a friend on a date. However, I would communicate that it would change the dynamic into a "hangout" over a traditional "date" for me. The difference being that a date carries romantic intent and a hangout is for the sake of connecting with others without romantic expectations. Also, a hangout means everybody pays for themselves.
This takes the pressure off by lowering the stakes since it's now just a casual hangout between peers. It also has the benefit of making the third not feel excluded as a third wheel but a welcome part of the group.
Who gives out money on a first date? Go have walk somewhere.
I had a girl cancel and reschedule our first date shortly before we were supposed to meet up. That date happened, and she confided in me that she'd done that on purpose to gauge my reaction and general demeanor before actually coming out to meet me. I respected that move, and I think I would have been okay with her bringing a friend instead, as long as it was just the once.
Anyway, that was eight years ago, we're married now.
Nice that it worked out but deception and playing games would be a huge red flag for me. Nothing about that instance in particular, it’s just that I’d always wonder “is this situation for real or another trick?”
Maybe the immediate followup fixes it. You were strangers then after all. And after eight years of course you know what you’re working with haha
Damnit now I’m just rambling to myself, carry on!
Look at this dude... Being happy
Quick! Scan his post and comment history to find something to bring him down!!
I bet he misses a lot of MtG sessions. 😏
Weakness identified!
You're a dumbass for playing along with such insane bullshit but I'm glad it worked out for you.
I don't think "begrudging women a single test to see if someone is the type to explode over a single inconvenience" is the right hill to stick your flag on.
Trying to start a relationship by playing games is very much a good place to find red flags.
It might seem like a game to you but that's someone's life.
Do you have an alternative for how they should determine if a potential partner is a danger? Besides hiring a private detective or rolling the dice by finding out after they're invested?
If you can't trust a stranger even a little bit then don't date complete strangers. Limit your dating pool to your circle of friends, friends of friends, people you already know or that your friends vouch for.
Yeah, I'd say it's a red flag except there are a ton of crazies that this quickly filters for them and keeps them safe from.
So in an ideal world it would be bad, but it makes sense in the one we live in.
Who do you think you are, flexing your relationship like that.
Grey text is looking out for their safety, good for them. Blue text is clearly communicating their boundaries, good for them. Neither is phrasing their needs as I would, but that's small potatoes. I'd rather date either of these people than most of the ones replying in this thread.