this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] SunSunFuego@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

in other news: are mitsubishi and tesla involved in global ecstasy sales?

[–] godfish@lemy.lol 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I personally have a theory that they are indeed supplying pill manufacturers with high quality presses.

Most high quality pills (not talking about contents) I have seen beeing confiscated in night clubs are branded with car or fashion brands.

So maybe they are targeting people when they have a high happy hormone output.

Like: woah that mitsubishi is making me feel soooo great and suff.

Oh god the new Tesla's are so strong.

Sounds like something marketing departments would get off on.

[–] bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

It’s easier for drug manufacturers to appropriate brands than to come up with their own. Car and luxury brands are common, but so are other brands like Netflix, characters from comics, cartoons, video games, etc. The manufacturers need an easily recognizable and memorable design.

Check out this database for examples. https://www.drugsdata.org/

[–] godfish@lemy.lol 4 points 2 days ago

Even Netflix is in on it then. Its bigger than i thought

[–] solidgrue@lemmy.world 233 points 3 days ago (9 children)

Federal police are still investigating whether the aircraft was involved in drug trafficking

Um....

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 115 points 3 days ago

finally an article that's oniony beyond the headline

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 86 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Maybe it was just for personal use

[–] Kraiden@piefed.social 44 points 3 days ago

Musk's personal stash

[–] zbyte64@awful.systems 25 points 3 days ago
  • Kash Patel on Epstein trafficking girls
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[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 days ago

What a major click bait

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 27 points 2 days ago (6 children)

It can be one of three scenarios IMO:

A: Elon is being particularly dumb and actually produced and distributed drugs with his logo.

B: The Trump Regime created and planted these drugs to manufacture a reason to prosecute Elon.

C: Some drug distributor is a huge fan of SpaceX, or wants to deflect investigation away from their other operations.

...the world being the way it is, all three seems pretty damn plausible to me. 😕

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

D: They're branding their coke the same way that MDMA pill pressers will stamp real logos on their product to market it (without permission, of course). They usually don't do this with coke, but it's not unheard of.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"our spacex cocaine will get you high AF"

straight rocket fuel

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[–] ScrambledEggs@lazysoci.al 8 points 2 days ago

I assumed it was elons personal stache for parties and shit

[–] AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

definitely c. you ever seen shitty weed packaging thats an obvious reference to Rick and Morty, trump, etc? looks like that culture has made its way to cocaine now

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[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

I figure it's a bit more like option C, with a bit of knockoff mentality going on. You know how you can find pictures online of super cheap knockoff merch from like China or some African countries? That's what I'm thinking is going on here.

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[–] ileftreddit@piefed.social 184 points 3 days ago (11 children)

I remember when a business jet packed to the gills with cocaine crashed and when they investigated, it turned out to be owned by a CIA shell company and previously used to shuttle people to Guantanamo for torture after an extraordinary rendition

https://asnc.flightsafety.org/wikibase/321868

[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 64 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I thought no fucking way they found over 7000lb of cocaine on a little business jet but yeah, that Gulfstream could probably barely take off with that much on board. That's one badass airframe.

[–] BillBurBaggins@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago

Maximum payload is 1.5t but the fuel payload is 12t so 3t of cocaine barely scratches it

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[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 106 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well there goes Elon's Doordash. Definitely not getting that $10 tip now.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 77 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is ridiculous.

Elon never tips.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago

Not entirely true, he'll tip if you carry his baby to term. Sometimes he'll even tip in horses.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 58 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Phew, at least the SpaceX branded ketamine got through.

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[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 43 points 3 days ago

oh no, Elon's weekly supply!!

[–] Jojowski@sopuli.xyz 43 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Wow! I wonder what will happen to those 178kgs of cocaine they found!

[–] ne0phyte@feddit.org 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It wouldn't even surprise me if some of the 150kg of cocaine went missing.

[–] frittoBee@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Someone really ought to take care of the 120 kg of cocaine.

[–] espentan@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

80 kilos of cocaine is quite a lot, it really should be disposed of safely.

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

good thing 40 kilos is exactly what fits in the evidence room

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Now, to find out who was going to receive those 20kg of cocaine

[–] admin@lemmy.today 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

All got burned with the plane on crashsite

[–] camelbeard@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Just like the weed we found sir, it was also burned, in very small portions.

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[–] Blackdoomax@sh.itjust.works 33 points 3 days ago

How do they know it's a fake spaceX packaging? Seems legit to me.

[–] npcknapsack@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago

I thought I was clicking through to a satire site. Da fuq is this.

[–] MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Plane full of drugs crashes. Police are still investigating if it was involved in drug trafficking... what?

Guess Elon's weekly shipment will be late. Probably scrambling to replace it off the streets like some kind of nose-mounted vacuum cleaner.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Musk switching away from Ketamine?

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[–] Friendlybirdseggs@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

MDMA pills are often branded with various logos from all sorts of companies and IPs (without permission, of course), so I imagine it was something similar to that.

a pile of "Orange Teslas" MDMA pills

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[–] hogmomma@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 39 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I wonder if it's a joke label or not

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 60 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (11 children)

Some drug traffickers use existing brands to "market" themselves.

Here's some Afghan heroin seized and destroyed by the international coalition on the Arabian Sea in 2021:

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[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That’s this cursed timeline’s equivalent of Mitsubishi MDMA pills

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[–] Envy@fedia.io 22 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Musk ain't getting shit done anytime soon

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