this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
641 points (98.1% liked)

Not The Onion

18248 readers
1779 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 27 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

It can be one of three scenarios IMO:

A: Elon is being particularly dumb and actually produced and distributed drugs with his logo.

B: The Trump Regime created and planted these drugs to manufacture a reason to prosecute Elon.

C: Some drug distributor is a huge fan of SpaceX, or wants to deflect investigation away from their other operations.

...the world being the way it is, all three seems pretty damn plausible to me. 😕

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

D: They're branding their coke the same way that MDMA pill pressers will stamp real logos on their product to market it (without permission, of course). They usually don't do this with coke, but it's not unheard of.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"our spacex cocaine will get you high AF"

[–] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

straight rocket fuel

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 weeks ago

I remember this from Pablo Francisco's Mitsubishi Ecstasy story hehe

[–] AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

definitely c. you ever seen shitty weed packaging thats an obvious reference to Rick and Morty, trump, etc? looks like that culture has made its way to cocaine now

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I used to put Mario stickers on the mushroom bags that I never sold.

Defo not sponsored by Nintendo

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

So you say... We all know how Nintendo would deal with snitches

[–] ScrambledEggs@lazysoci.al 8 points 2 weeks ago

I assumed it was elons personal stache for parties and shit

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

I figure it's a bit more like option C, with a bit of knockoff mentality going on. You know how you can find pictures online of super cheap knockoff merch from like China or some African countries? That's what I'm thinking is going on here.

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Probably C. Elon would be more into ketamine than cocaine.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It's a week's supply for his basic bitch business major execs