No more gendered happy meal toys. Because of woke
The ice cream machine is working but the burger machine is not
this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2025
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chapotraphouse
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Burger Machine would be a cool band name and/or euphemism for the US/empire in general.
We're trapped in the belly of this burger machine, and the machine is farting to death.
I fear for the workers' lives
How could a burger place even be open if they can't serve burgers?
Serving ice cream
Considering this is in America, that actually tracks. Those people would actually go to a shitty burger restaurant even to order something else entirely.
McDonald's has a fucking flag lmao
Wendy shot the Hamburglar in self-defense but Mayor McCheese is politicizing the incident for re-election.
By order of RFK Jr. all fast food joints which are not frying all of the items on their menu in beef tallow must fly their flags at half staff in shame to warn potential patrons of their lack of commitment to Making America Healthy Again
the flags themselves are fried in tallow and that makes them too heavy to stay at the top of the pole
There was a school shooting-
While a Ronald Mcdonald clown actor was teaching elementary kids how to eat healthy 
They fuckin' merked the Grimace
Just shot him with a 40mm grenade launcher, there was purple shake shit everywhere
The McRib recipe has been lost, all attempts to recreate it from memory have failed.
The Hamburgler died of a heart attack.
ran low on rope
Trump thinks silksong is too hard
last day of mcrib
the McRib is off the menu
Seppoland president dropped his burger on the ground.
oh fuck, south american coup commencing in 30 mins someone warn them
There has been a school shooting
The mcondalds flag would be at half mast every day.
So yeah, wrong answer.
The last McDonald's franchise in Russia has been shut down, dealing a blow to the Burger Empire.
Mayor McCheese has died due to cardiac arrest.
Engine light in the F150 is on
McDonalds shutdown their only store in Afghanistan in 2002
Birdie flew into a jet engine
McDonalds hosts flags like that??
I thought that was a dystopian joke
The eagle has landed. I repeat the eagle has landed
Mayor McCheese has been shot. I’m Walter Cronkite.
The Hamburglar has pulled off his biggest heist yet.
Zoe Hamburger leaves McDonalds UK