Funeral Homes hate the Government.

They are incredibly rude to the families receiving financial assistance, it takes 3 months for them to pay us, and did you know that if you don't have a will they cut your step-children out of the process entirely?

We had one gentleman in our care whose only living family was his step-daughter. Because there were no blood relatives and no will the Public Guardian took control of his disposition and the step-daughter had no say in anything that happened with him. Wasn't allowed to keep a portion of the ashes, the Funeral Director had to fight just to allow the step-daughter a brief final visitation.

This is also true for children under 18. Your 17 year old child has no say in your disposition if you have no other living relatives.

Have a will people, if for no other reason than to allow your loved ones to decide how they will grieve rather than some indifferent bureaucrat.

Anyone using a phone hates clankers.

There's one automated system I need to call regularly at work that does not give me the option of dialing numbers and forces me to speak to it. It lists the options it can understand, but I can't just press a number to move on. Then it asks me to say and spell my first name, then say my last name (which it guesses the spelling of incorrectly) and pretends to type while it's processing. Why are we doing this?

Physical therapists hate motorcycles.

Cell biologists hate contaminants.

Arborists hate Bradford pear trees. They’re the ones that have white flowers and smell like cum. That’s not even why we hate them though.

Firemen hate pedophiles

Teachers hate pedophiles

Doctors hate pedophiles

Lawyers hate pedophiles

Liberals hate pedophiles

Conservatives hate pedophiles

Independents hate pedophiles

Where's the fucking list Donny? Give us the list you fat orange fuck. We know you're on it, and so do you. How did you think this was going to pan-out, dumbass?

Proctologists hate things without a flared base.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but not this way!"

Software devs hate users

Software engineers hate MBAs. It's like they live in a fantasy world where everything works perfectly and can be done in 3 days and can read your mind.

sysadmins hate end users because end users suck.

I know q-tips aren't safe or whatever but man it feels too good to stop.

Dentists hate 1, 16, 17, and 32.

Photo editors hate:

Eye doctors hate bungee cords. Be careful with those! ER doctors hate 4th of July.

Psychoanalysts hate those blotchy black & white images of my mother's pussy giving birth to my father who is wielding a knife with my name written along the hilt. "Stop bringing these fucking drawings in here!" she yells. God forbid a man have hobbies.