Ask Lemmy

Meet and greet with the president of the US.

I can choose the timing of death? Ok, I touch my family and friends and keep them all alive for the next 70 years.

I'd have a wank

Offer my services to people suffering in countries where voluntary euthanasia is still illegal?

Peter Thiel needs a hug anyway. As publicly as possible

I might be meet and greeting a lot of cops.

I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself.

This superpower makes masturbation problematic. Unless your suicidal.

This power sucks, stroking your flower would suck having to stop every 14,9 seconds….

Reminds me about a certain king who starved to death because everything he touched turned to gold.

So if I touch myself for 15 seconds it's suicide?

Nah

I choose myself. I put a finger gun to my temple for 15 seconds. I count down aloud from 15. The timing: Instant. The manner: At zero, the other side of my head blows off as if the gun was real.

If I am feeling particularly sadistic I will do this in a public place with people around, perhaps with a protest sign of some sort. If not, somewhere out of the way, perhaps in a nearby field so that my house isn't sullied physically or by reputation as the place where that guy's head exploded for no reason.

No-one should have that power.

Extend my foot on the bus so that I'm able to touch the wanker listening to music on speakerphone.

If you pick someone you know will be in a specific place and time, you can make their cause of death “spontaneous fission explosion” and get an AoE on a lot of other people.

Oh dude… 15 seconds is far too long to spend per person for the sheer amount of people I’d like to kill. I’d be busy for years.

so you become DEATH(a primodial entity) and necessity of the universe in many franchises. death note, like a few months or years, then bam they die of a heart attack. the thing is getting hold of the person for 15 seconds which is a long time. in most cases its usually instantaneous effect.

Wvery woman whos is NOT prostitute.

It is not because I have anything against women, or any particular love of prostitutes, i just think it would be hillarious to watch the consequences of a world with a 100:1 male:female ratio where the few remaining women are prostitutes.

would we get a mateiarchal society? Would dudes suddenly all go super gay? would a bunch more dudes become women? Would the prostitutes keep prostituting or would they marry the wealthiest men on earth? would the men annihilate whats left of the human race in nuclear frustration? what would all the non prostitutes do when eventually the pattern emerged and people figured out ehat was going on?

while i was at it i giess id kill all the male prositutes to see what happaned. or the complete inverse of that. either or works.

I don't wish to kill anyone and reading these comments makes me sick.

“For $1000 I will ensure you live as long as you want and die in the manner of your choosing.”

After you’ve helped a couple of terminal cancer patients cheat death for a few years, word will spread.

At fifteen seconds I could comfortably do one a minute for an hour or so a day and rake in $60k.

Does our choosing a cause of death preclude them from dying of other causes? Because you could potentially do some wild stuff to postpone death of loved ones by, for example, deciding they'll die 60 years in the future of old age.

And how much control do you have around the circumstances surrounding their death? Could I specify "dies of heart attack brought on by shock of working out the key to practical cold fusion on paper" or "head trauma due to fall while adjusting to lower gravity in main living area of self-sustaining mars colony" to force us forward in technology and science?

Because that's basically what I'd do.

I'd shake hands with fascists

Nice try FBI and CIA.

Train as a masseuse. Get a job at Mar-a-lago. Work there for 3 years. After that time very non-employee there I have touched all spontaneously combust simultaneously.

I... don't.