this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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What the hell am I going wrong then? I've been bald for 3 years and I ain't got jack shit!
Perhaps you forgot to invest the savings into building a global e-commerce empire.
It's getting a 200K funding from your dad that's the real trick. He also worked for a large company making money at the time, he wasn't trying to survive.
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3 years? I've been bald for 20 years and I'm 300K down the hole, when does this trick kick in exactly?
You spent it all on avocado toast, didn't you.
Mate I was balding when I was 19 and went full cue ball when I was 23. I'm 36 now. Where the fuck is my money??!
You and me both, my friend… remember Balding Elon Musk? I think it’s not so much the lack of hair, more like the lack of ethics.
Steve Jobs would wear the exact same outfit, Every. Single. Day. That's the kind of dedication needed, most people aren't cut out for it.
Dude didn't even shower to save on water bills.
He didn't even buy any expensive cancer medicine, he just drank smoothies.
/uj I'm not even making this shit up, he tried to beat his cancer with regulating his diet to include various fruits and vegetables and ended up using his private jet to jump ques on multiple organ donations , because , get this, YOU CAN'T BEAT CANCER BY EATING MORE FUCKING FRUIT.
I hate his guts, but his passing was a little bit therapeutic for me.
I wonder just how much money he would have donated to fascists by now. Rest in peace, micromanaging megalomaniac monster.
Silicon Valley turtleneck was just the Mao Suit of its era.
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don't fall for it, everything you save on barber visits you spend on razors
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Maybe he can just try out one more haircut. Maybe to just below the chin. Preferably with a large blade falling from some height. All you need is a basket infront to catch anything that falls off.
But who will deliver my 2am drunk purchases next day for free? Communists? I didn't think so.
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At $30 per haircut, you’d need about 8 billion haircuts skipped to save that much. Dude must cut his own hair every few milliseconds.
At $30 per haircut
~~What? That cheap? When I went to a mediocre barber, I had to pay 35 eur, but now it's more like 45 eur.~~ ^(forgot to shitpost)
What kind of economy are you in? My haircuts are 48 million euro per month (they're on a subscription, but I locked in a good deal as an early adopter), that's why I'm not rich, no other reason.
No one said it was gonna be easy.
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Jeff Bezos cooking recipie.
Not need to shave Jeff Bezos before put him in oven.
Just stuff him like a chicken.
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Cheapest haircut in my town for my hair type is $75+tip. I just cut it myself now.
Jesus christ.
Are you a woman and is that USD?
The most I've ever paid was $65AUD for a hearcut and beard trim in a mining town where the majority earned over 200k a year
Yes, a woman, and yes USD. That’s the no-frills salon price for a trim for my hair which is “long/thick (curly)”. The more expensive places range into the $200s.
I guess you can't go with my solution. Hell, if it gets any longer, I may actually need a haircut, but I haven't had one in 5 years.
I'm a guy; nobody cares about my hair.
Probably not as good as being bald, but you'll probably save at least a few billion.
Good news, at this rate it will only take you 3178666666.66667 haircuts to be as rich as Jeff Bezos.
Jeff Bezos saved hundreds of billions of dollars by downsizing his wife.
Who will go down in history as one of the best traders of all time.
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I stopped cutting my hair when Covid closed all the barbers. Got a fukin mane now. Dunno, seems to have worked out. Still waiting for my billions tho ...
No, no, see this is why you will never make it.
You gotta be bald
I shaved my head and now I have billions... Of cells in my body
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There's more going on here the just the lack of hair. What secrets is he keeping under that shiny dome of his?
We must go deeper.
Avocados.
Avocados are so expensive, that's why Jeff turned his head into a giant avocado pit. Infinite avocado hack! ~whenever he finally decides to bury his stupid fucking head underground~
Bullshit.
Bezos can’t cut his own hair. He can’t see that far up his own ass even with all the mirrors in the world.
He probably spends more to be bald than it would cost to get all new hair.
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And than there is me who is bold and still goes to the barber because the feeling of someone else cutting your bold head with a razor knife is just great. Also I have a long beard which is the main reason to go to the barber but I digress
Lol. Bold ass mf
Demn, I ollweys confuse English vowels
Bold faced lies.
Is this how dougdoug rolls in the big bucks?
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