There's two core factors as I understand it. First beauty norms are very gendered and center heavily around weight and body composition. There is a higher pressure on women to be "thin" (denormalize that idea), and it does inflect how we as trans people relate to our bodies.

Second, fat distribution is controlled by sex hormones which means it is alterable. Once your hormones stabilize, body weight fluctuations disproportionately affect 'incorrectly' stored fat---to different degrees for different people.

Losing weight during HRT, particularly for transfeminine people, is a double whammy since you are meeting gendered beauty norms AND altering a secondary sex characteristic.

It is a completely valid thing to notice and feel euphoric about! At the same time, don't overextend it into fatphobia or self-hatred. Let go of internal fat shaming because gaining weight now will probably turn you into an ass monster! ;)

very very understandable.

imo the extent of hrt fat redistribution is a large part of it, and with time body fat can actually become an asset, creating a more ""feminine"" shape and concealing certain parts of one's bone structure -- though perhaps it depends on the specifics of one's build

I feel like being overweight makes me look more masculine.

I feel this too. Big time. In my case I feel like a big part of it is that I'm a little stocky and the way my weight is distributed makes me look even more so. I think losing weight would be a big improvement for me. I'm trying, but it's difficult.

Very understandable. When I was in active addiction, it kept me skinny and that was one of the reasons I chose to keep using. Now that I'm not a drunk anymore, I've gained a lot of weight and my self esteem has definitely taken a hit. I'm a lot healthier at the weight I'm at now, but it was so much easier to see myself as feminine when I was skinnier.

I never apply this to other people though, as I typically talk to bigger women, so this is something I try to remind myself. That it's a trait I find beautiful in other people, so I should try to find it beautiful in myself

Growing up, my mother was always very skinny while my father was heavy-set: so I came to associate being thin with femininity. I’ve been underweight literally as long as I can remember. I was obsessed with dieting in fucking elementary school. My father would say shit like “he’s starting to eat like a man now,” and so refusing to eat became my first rebellion against my assigned gender.

I’ve never had a full on eating disorder though. Maybe, idk.

Are you my doppelganger? I've lost a similar amount since last fall and have a similar amount to go to my goal.

I also see myself in a much better light now, but idk how much is because of the effects of hrt, and how much is because of the weight loss. I think there's a lot of intersectionality between the two.

for me at least it's the opposite. I was underweight due to not being able to feel hungry. fixed it and gained more weight, and was quite happy, since I thought it would make me look more masculine...

My hips grew and I got upset. This was basically the nail in the coffin for confirming I had gender dysphoria.

The problem is not necessarily the fat, but the distribution. I'm not sure what exactly makes your body put the fat in different places, but women tend to have more fat in the legs and arms than the belly. But also not always, bodies are varied