chapotraphouse

i hate life. i go home im alone, i sleep im alone, i go to university im alone, i sit a seminar im alone. how the fuck am i supposed to find new friends, no one has any time, no one likes me enough to invite me to anything, no one wants to hang out with me, sure you can try to organize something but even if you manage to do so it never becomes anything more than a one time thing. i try to do shit, it never happens. there are no chill parties, no one wants to socialize at bars, no one wants to be friends at clubs or hobby meetups. there are no connections between anything, people go to meetups like they go to doctors appointments. i dont want to have friends, i want to have a community. i dont want to do thing a with friend a on monday, thing b with friend b on tuesday, thing c with friend c on wednesday, thing d with friend d on thursday, thing e with friend e on friday. i want to have a friend group whom i can just hang out with. and when you try to find friends you need to pretend like you don't really need them, go like "oh yeah ill add you to my long list of friends lets see where i can fit you in oh im so busy im certainly not sitting home alone crying because i feel so fucking heartbroken and lonely all the time". im thirty, still a complete loser in university. how the fuck is this supposed to work when im working 40 hours a week. and then my therapist has the gall to tell me i've got a "fear of growing up". if growing up means living like this i'd rather fucking die. i don't find it hard to empathize with incels, loneliness is the worst pain in the world, loneliness makes you go crazy. its much easier to believe a romantic relationship is going to fix your loneliness than it is to believe there's any chance of living in a community of friends. you only need one person to be in a relationship, to not be alone when you go home, to at least have someone to hold you when you are crying.

You know when you end out working on food long enough that you don't want it when its done? Made a real nice pesto pasta but securing a half liter of the pesto I was making ar work prior to adding cheese. I kept adding to it and it became a thing and now it's cooling off to be eaten exclusively as leftovers and im eating vegsn nuggies and fries

In the last seven days all that has brought me joy is watching bombs fall on the Zionist entity. They have stolen humanity from themselves and from us.

Fuck it, getting high af tonight. Life is for living.

I fucking love chilaquiles so much

okay like I get it fuck AI and everything but there is some level of novelty to taking what was meant to be a horny roleplay chatbot and be like "yeah but you're Mao Zedong now" and then it suddenly starts talking about how we need to immediately bring education and literacy to the peasantry in order to overthrow the corrupt Elven nobility

don't tar and pitchfork me folks, I didn't mess around with ChatGPT initially because you needed to make an account so I'm way behind on being jaded with the world-burning mechanical turk, let me have my fun

I went to my first protest ever today. I'm in a small town so there aren't many. I would definitely recommend bringing a sign or something to hold because otherwise you're just kind of standing there awkwardly. Oh well, I was a body at least.

8 tanks. 1 spg. in single file, not all at the same time. between groups of fatigued dorks "marching" like they have full diapers

and fucking ads! "sponsorships" for a military parade! the US military is fucking cooked

Connor Wong catching. Roman and Marcelo out. Don't have high hopes for this one, but we already won the series so whatever.

yo fucking shout out to chilaquiles though. One of the best breakfasts of all time, and I don't even like eating in the morning

I hope someone brings a three arrows sign to the Canadian No Kings thing. Like they renamed the event to be pro monarchy big dog turn in one of your arrows

What do you call a room full of libs? A libing room.

The Noon Wraiths in Witcher 1 were terrifying, especially considering they were just out there in the daytime. Poland is scary.

Is there a Gundam trrpg? If there isn't im making one up.

Really enjoying Sopranos:The Next Generation

https://youtu.be/yf61N4eZ-68

time for bed

Mercs in fantasy settings: "ahahahahaha guys we are pretty chill, the real gold were the friends we made along the way."

Mercs in sci fi/modern settings: "I LOVE WAR I LOVE WAR CRIMES I LOVE DESTROYING PEOPLES LIVES AND CULTURE!!!!!"

"Strength is Unity" Yeah hating brown people for existing is unity.

At least this game calls out for worshipping NYPD to the point the media refuses to report corruption because we must "support the troops".

Being a Social Justice Warrior actually sounds cool as fuck, how did chuds make that derogatory

Had a dream in which I was wearing stiletto witch boots, hat, and dress to the beach and had to climb down ladder to walk on the sand. There was also a giant slide involved but I was mad bc it took me away from the beach front and into the beach town

I got a lot done. I guess Iran attacking back lifted my spirits a bit and also gave me something to do while doing other stuff. My modified PS1 stopped working but I was able to fix it by finding one of my solders stopped working and I reflowed it. Changed the batteries on the last of my GBC carts. Finished the Haruhi Suzumiya manga. Finished the 10,000 coin grind in Mario Kart 8. Caught up on some YT videos I've been meaning to watch (mostly anime reviews). Caught up on most of my cleaning and stuff. Sewing patches on my backpack because I'm transferring them to a new one since the old one got ruined de to reasons (taking me awhile because it's a pain in the ass to sew with the thick material and I keep putting it off).

Need a new collection of hobbies and hyperfixations to shitpost about so that people can't ID me from my old account - looking for maybe a solid half-dozen (6). Suggestions???

Preferably nothing involving physical coordination since I'm a depressed nerd & also nothing math-like because I'm more of an Actual Art Degree nerd than a STEM nerd

https://www.npr.org/2025/06/15/nx-s1-5400642/affordable-housing-environment-vienna-climate-change

Public housing? Can't believe NPR would publish an Abundance Agenda hit piece like this, smh 😔

Mega mega mega THREAD

I periodically get the fantasy worldbuilding itch and honestly it's more annoying than anything. Mostly because I don't write want to write a fantasy novel (and don't write fantasy-as-such for my larger creative projects in general), and realistically working full time combined with the active communist lifestyle wouldn't make a d&d group feasible, my main friend group I'd recruit from for such a thing would be people with the same issue schedule-wise.

Maybe I'll pick my d&d hobby back up if I make it to retirement

It's funny how Internet people have obsessed over evangelion and New Vegas for over a decade now, given that the thesis of one can be summed up as "Touch grass and stop obsessing" and the other as "You gotta let go".

So tired. Finally see the light at the end of the tunnel though. The location I've been covering for the past 2 or so months is finally getting some staff back, so I can take 2 days off again.

Once they're fully staffed I'm going to take a two week vacation for the first time in forever. Not sure what I want to do, but it sure would be nice to at least take a little trip somewhere away from here.

Just hope everyone is doing okay on this extra hell edition of hellworld

Apparently Comeback Kid is doing a 20th anniversary tour for Wake The Dead and playing the full album. I guarantee the average person who liked comeback kid 20 years ago is still straightedge and has a tiny haircut and giant beard and a really tight t shirt and is going put in the grave in that pit. Rip me, I don't even like them that much, they just fucking slayed live when I was 14

I turned it off, but I swear during the part of the military parade where they showed the unit of the guys with the little drones, there were only like two drones flying in the air and one soldier was just holding up a third drone.

Like, was it broken? Why would you only have three and only two that would fly? And the drones looked like something you could buy in a best buy in 2014.

Whoever figured those wooden dolls for that back pain meds was an advertising genius.

Gundam: 08th MS Team is crushing it. Stardust Meomories would have been better if it had ended 2 episodes earlier and I didn't hate the characters.

4 episodes in. Fucking love this show. I really need people i know irl to watch this stuff. I've got sci fi pals but it being anime has made it a hard sell. Its on a ds9 or b5 level when its good and its okay when its bad so far. Haven't gotten a major stinker yet. ZZ Was an adjustment after Zeta but I liked it in rewatch more. Space geopolitics is my favorite Sci fi genre.

I try to be a normal well adjusted human being so why is there something just so completely deeply wrong with me that I just cannot function at all in any way in this society.