this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 36 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I'll admit it does ignore asexuality but I think it is an actually interesting bit pertinent to discussion here

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Alternative take: Jesus was fully human but was aro ace which is a completely valid and fully human thing to be. So anyone who denies aro or ace identities is actually rejecting Jesus himself

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 27 points 2 days ago (1 children)

turning the dial rapidly between that and "he was gay with all 12 disciples" seeing what makes chuds more upset

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

The Human-With-Divine-Characteristics Centipede

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I agree, it's why the disclaimer, however I'd also figure aro ace is not something your average christian cartoonist producer "believes" in or respects

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago

I just want to take this take to Christian libs who reject valid identities and go YEAH BUT JESUS THO to annoy them

[–] NPa@hexbear.net 18 points 2 days ago

Obviously he was into feet

[–] ZeroHora@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 days ago

All bets on armpit

[–] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

asexuality

Not fully human, they are actually the father and the holy spirit.

[–] miz@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think you might have confused us with your pronoun choice here. does "they" refer to Jesus or asexuals

[–] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

asexuals. Jesus was fully human, but some things aren't. Wouldn't Jesus be a he, though?

[–] miz@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

well since you were mentioning the trinity maybe I thought you were talking plural

[–] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

It's a well known fact that there is only one god, and Jesus isn't it

#unitarianismgang

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 34 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Blasphemy, Garfield would clearly be God himself in this scenario.

Only a piece of shit like nermal would usher in a world where humanity has to wear pants and pay taxes.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Garfield is The Schemer, The Deceiver. He is the Lying Beast. There is nothing holy about him.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

/ˈɡɑɹfild/ → /ˈɡɑːfiwd/ → /ˈɡɑːfjʊd/ → /ˈɡɑːɸjʉd/ → /ˈɡɑːçyd/ → /ˈɡɑːʝyd/ → /ɡɑːʝd/ → /ɡɑːjd/ → /ɡæjd/ → /gæːd/ → /gaːd/ → /gɑːd/

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

Okay, that's it, pack it in. The internet was a mistake. I'm going full anarcho primitivist.

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

He'd have rested for a lot more than just the seventh day.

Garfield would clearly be God himself in this scenario

Indeed he is, as foretold by his holiness st. bhagavan shree matt christman (SAW) large-adult-son

a spitting image of god itself

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago

My parents had a cat already before I was born who was named Nermal cause as a kitten he was a cute Lil grey thing. They thought he was a girl cat until his giant dangling balls made it pretty obvious that wasn't the case and Nermal turned out to be a tough fucking cat. Heathcliff coded. Big as hell. And also wasn't a fan of me cause I was a pain in the ass toddler. Once I was older Nerm was cool with me and even would cuddle up with me in his last years when I was getting to be around 10. But I've got some vague memories of waddling down a hall and then just having 10 pounds of cat tackle me when I rounded a corner. I'd always get bonked with a furry part and only got scratched when it was totally my fault but this cat would just sometimes jump off of furniture and land on me to be a jerk.

[–] WizardOfLoneliness@hexbear.net 27 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Yknow i don't remember anything in the bible about adam and eve getting married

[–] aebletrae@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You couldn't, because Eve wasn't called Eve at the time, and because God doesn't deadname trans women.

Original SRS surgeon God creates a woman from male flesh in Genesis 2:22. First ally Adam insists that "she shall be called Woman" in Genesis 2:23. By Genesis 2:25 they're acknowledged as man and wife. But Eve doesn't get her own name until Genesis 3:20, and then that's the only name we ever know her by.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago

Where does NERVE enter into all this?

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 17 points 2 days ago

That's like the entire plot. Yeah.

[–] OldSoulHippie@hexbear.net 27 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Bring back Garfield posting

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 25 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

TFW it's Monday and I'm not a cat doomjak

[–] SovietBeerTruckOperator@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago

I could ᓚᘏᗢ but not till after another hour and a half of making the beeps go boop :(

The only time Jon can get laid is when he's the only man on earth.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Didn't Jon get married tho

[–] Carl@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They're not married, but him and Liz have been a couple in the main canon since the 2000s.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

Which made me feel bad for Liz. She could easily do better.