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Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
Nah nothing that cool. A megacorp that has so much influence that it doesn't need a military of its own. It knows everything it needs to about everyone, can sway public opinion as it wishes, and will continue to enmesh itself into every aspect of private and public life. It produces no products. We are the products, and we are the consumers.
And it's already here: Google, Meta, whatever Elon Musk is doing idk.
So, Evil Corp, then
Pizza Hut's biggest mistake was selling off their war-fleet.
Which was a shame as Taco bell won the fast food wars.
Sometimes the companies they subcontract, named something boring and innocuous like Isolace Data Systems or Wimblo Digital or some shit, fucks up spectacularly.
Like they'll just have 400gb Excel spreadsheet called all_meta_usernames_and_passwords.xlsx stored in the company's shared intranet and then some dude guesses the WiFi password was WimbloDigital2024 and leaks it to whoever.
Yeah I don't see how anyone can not see it's Google... Who else is even close to having all our data? All the web searches, mobile android play backend, maps, Google streetcar, etc etc... They know everything.
The world got its first dystopian megacorp several hundred years ago and it was called the East India Company
British or Dutch?
Yes
Pssst, Amazon already exists...
If we have to go by a fictional one, I think OCP.
You down with OCP (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with OCP (Every last homie)
You down with OCP (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with OCP (All the homies)
Fucking Nestle
RobCo
Military contractor and aerospace giant obsessed with autonomous AI.
Replace Robert House with El*n and it's halfway there already.
Buy N Large!
That's Amazon.
Tyrell, because Paypalpatine wants his sex robots, ands that means replicants.
Paypalpatine
chefs kiss
But the other Paypalpatine is building the precrime Minority Report machine. We're really getting the worst of all these fucking shitheads combined.
Taco Bell
Spoiler
Demolition Man
Viridian Dynamics.
"Veridian Dynamics. People Lie. Companies protect their interests. It's different."
E Corp
Kroger
Costco
I like money.
Welcome to Costco. I love you
I could really go for a Starbucks right now.
We don't have time for a hand job.
We need to revive the neon sign industry at least
It's all of them, all at once. Yesterday.
It's called the United States of America
I'm holding out for Aperture Science, if for no other reason than that their AI has a dry, dark sense of humor.
Black rock
Ares macrotechnology. Guns, cars, space, a private military/police force, and 'Mom and Apple pie.'
Neuralink.
We get Qualityland's "The Shop" if we like it or not.
Virtucon (Dr Evil's org in Austin Powers)
Mao-Kwikowski Mercantile, with their subsidiary Protogen.
OCP
ICP
Umbrella Corp.
Or possibly Conglomo (from Rocko's Modern Life). They own everything and are run by two dip shits.
Weyland-Yutani canonically merged with Wal-Mart, so Wal-Mart.
Brondo, the thirst mutilator.
I'll take Cyberdyne. A laser blast to the head sounds like a nice, peaceful way to go out.
