this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
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[–] c0smokram3r@midwest.social 86 points 1 year ago (2 children)

THE official MAN CARD 😆

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 70 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And it's a bottle opener

Because nothing screams manly like alcoholism

[–] Anivia@feddit.org 26 points 1 year ago (8 children)

If you need a bottle opener to open a bottle you aren't alcoholic

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

REAL MAN OPEN THEIR BOTTLE WITH THEIR TEETH

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

TIL I'm actually manly

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[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So a real man let their choice dominated by another man?

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Real men link up to the hive mind.

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And Bee a Manliest Manly Man and twerk at your enemy!

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[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I honestly can't tell if this website is being ironic

[–] drosophila@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago (5 children)

That's a very dumb name, but I really like the simple design and earth tone color of the bar itself.

On the other hand I don't think I'd like to smell like beer.

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[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can’t stand any of these masculinity targeted products. Also don’t flush any product down the toilet other than toilet paper. Those wipes clog sewers.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Real MEN don't touch their buttholes, they use a bidet. Check out now biMAN, equipped with a power hose so no grime gets left behind.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago

According to my proctologist, we Americans are cruel to our butts with over-use of toilet paper.

Never wipe but dab. Use a bidet. Start with a travel bidet, which is $5-$20, and you can fill them with warm water. Rinse liberally and dab, repeat until clean.

Don't worry about manliness. Being nice to your hemorrhoids is the adult thing to do.

[–] Zementid@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Dude, bidets and ass showers in combination with shaved butthole is a hygienic must for hairy folks.

Dingleberry cultivation is no involuntary hobby anyone should have.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 12 points 1 year ago

Dingleberry farmer is now in my lexicon of insults

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[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Being a man is when you conform your freedom of choice to one of a few acceptable choices.

Expressing yourself, showing who you really, standing up to peer pressure is for pussies, you wouldn't want to risk people accidentally mistaking you with them sexually liberated folks by admitting you like electro-swing over country.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Let’s not forget that they probably don’t listen to much non-commercialized country and when they do the highly left-wing, union supporting, feelings having message probably goes right over their heads. I mean it has to, they’d necessarily throw a fit if they knew what they were listening to.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a guy, real masculinity is being comfortable with your gender and not becoming uncomfortable because someone else expresses theirs.

Guys, we're workers, and problem solvers. We're also so many more things like fathers, sons, brothers and friends. Masculinity as a concept is outdated. Adapt, overcome, persevere. That's all you need.

Anyone telling you that you're unmanly because you have, or don't have something, or because you do, or don't do something, is either a fool, or selling you something.

Be a man, ignore their bullshit.

[–] nomous@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am a man, therefore everything I do is masculine.

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[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't forget your tactical Christmas stocking this holiday season! 💪

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The whole tactical-style-for-not-tactical-thing makes me rage. Not because it exists, but because it's been picked up by the wrong demographic.

That sort of thing should belong to the realm of the ironic, and be worn by the person who has a bad joke to go with it.

Tactical baby carrier should be for the fun dad who uses it to make jokes about how you otherwise might notice the baby, and not the fragile guy who needs a shield to defend his masculinity in the face of raising his children.

It's like so much of these things started as a gag, and then got picked up by people who aren't in on the joke.

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[–] VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is there anything more manly than washing clothes?

Big Boy

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[–] Mobiledecay@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My birth certificate is proof enough that I'm a man. Now give me my strawberry Herbal Essences! 💪😡

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 10 points 1 year ago

Ohhhh YEEEEES...

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I saw MAN CARD in the thumbnail and legitimately thought it said MAN CHILD and didn’t even question it.

[–] BruceTwarzen@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

Which would be so much funnier. Wanna fuck with me? A certified MAN CHILD?

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

classic rock, country, and blues

Metal is for sissies, I guess.

sigh I'll get the socks.

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[–] DancingBear@midwest.social 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

They do the same exact thing in the pink aisle in the supermarket.

By making everything more so called feminine, and now more so called masculine, companies realized they can charge a premium and people will fall for the packaging gimmick.

That’s all I think it is.

I do like the man card bottle opener though. Would be a fun thing to bring to parties and holiday gatherings.

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[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

“A man’s music collection should consist out of classic rock and country. …… oh yeah and also blues. See we ain’t racist we added black music”

Lol bet they mean Eric “non-whites should be deported” Clapton and not BB King.

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I only wipe my butt with sandpaper.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I let it crust over and sand it all off once a month.

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[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

A man's music collection should consist of classic rock, country and blues

Does this give anyone else boomer vibes? Also, I suspect this is trying to invoke the Progressive Rock of the 1970s (Kansas, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Eagles, Supertramp, etc.) and not Buddy Holly, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin or, you know, Elvis, The Beatles and the Rolling Stones

But then my man card expired in the early 1990s.

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[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

real men don't clean themselves at all so that their musk is always noticed by everyone in the room they're in

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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

These dudes are so uptight about masculinity. They could really use a prostate massage.

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Real men use a bidet anyway.

And not because it's objectively better than wipes. ;)

[–] Arbiter@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

REAL MEN LICK THEY OWN ASS CLEAN

[–] GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 7 points 1 year ago

Well, some people say men are basically just dogs and I guess if some of us can lick our own assholes, that's further proof.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Society if men could lick their own assholes:

Nothing productive would be done all day.

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[–] variants@possumpat.io 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How do people even find such a shop

[–] BlemboTheThird@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 year ago

They're the type of people who click on Facebook ads

[–] bricklove@midwest.social 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Only classic rock, country, and blues are manly? I didn't know metal, rap, and military marches were for little girls

[–] GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's a slippery slope. I heard if you listen to too many sea shanties you will start aggressively lactating.

[–] Ashelyn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago

~Babe, wake up! New feminization technique just dropped~

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Ska and punk are part of the woke trans agenda

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago

Actually the woke and trans movements are emergences of what Ska and Punk was doing decades ago.

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[–] scottmeme@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Man facts:

I listen to eurobeat and hard style

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[–] Stern@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Man card bottle opener

lol he has to use a special tool to open his bottles. Table edge is right there tough guy... or literally any hard object you can get about an inch of leverage with (so not your dick ayo), Belt buckle is possible, doesn't even have to be a special one. Keys, a dollar bill, lighter, principle doesn't change too much between them. Hell even your wedding ring... oh... awkward.

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