Military coup (if I actually had an ability to pull it off).
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
26 points (84.2% liked)
Asklemmy
50550 readers
465 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).
So i'd do that
I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.
tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here
Iβd go rob the people that made my entire 20βs and 30βs into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I couldβve used to get out of that contract.
The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49
Quick question: How does it reach this figure?
It was the CitiAssist.
It had to be a private student loan because my parents made slightly over the max to qualify to public loans even though they refused to pay for school. That left me with loans with insane interest rates. Most of what I had to borrow was to cover $150k to pay rent in the college town I lived in while attending school.
Then, Joe Biden wrote the bankruptcy protection bill, making it impossible for students to disburse their student loans in bankruptcy two years after I graduated. They also refused to allow me to consolidate 8 loans which all had monthly payments that were each intentionally calculated as if it was the only loan I had to pay. Then my loans got bought and moved around and are now owned by Trellis. Thereβs a lot more to it as well. Housing and healthcare plays a HUGE part.
TLDR; hyper-commodification of basic human needs like education, housing, healthcare, and food coupled with legislation that sentences those that canβt pay their feudal lord up front to a lifetime of serfdom. (Not to mention my union wages barely keeping pace with inflation).
I'd go to the art museum and consume copious amounts of hallucinogens.
load more comments
(1 replies)
~~Illegal~~ Legal immigration.
I didn't even think of that. i could apply for US and EU passports
Why'd you go for a US passport considering their globally reaching tax laws?
So i pay an accountant to file a tax return once a year. Seems okay. It's a powerful passport
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Crime means breaking the law, correct?
No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.
I would:
- expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
- transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
- alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that's selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
- one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
- remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
- create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
- hold hands with two chicks at the same time
It's fun to dream of the impossible.
The law does not currently prevent me from doing anything I want to do.
I keep my head down. No legal consequences isnβt the same thing as no consequences.
if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.
I'm a renter, so I'd throw a brick through each window of my property manager's tesla.
Jaywalk then torrent a movie.
It's crazy that you guys in the US can get a ticket for crossing the road
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Rob Fort Knox.
Rip the toupee off trumps head and get a good picture.
you still gotta deal with security though remember
load more comments
(2 replies)
Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7
load more comments
(1 replies)
Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.
I'd like to do some proper money laundering but I'd need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn't an issue, I'd hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.
Nuke the world.
That's not murder; it's a war crime.
Rob a bank.
it might be legal but you still have to deal with security
Transmitting radio without a license
> Tries to rob a bank
> gets shot
Arson.
Go shoplift anything I want. Snack/trinket party!
I would steal a single nuclear icbm and take it to a pizza hut and just leave it there. Just seems like it would cause some interesting conversations.
I have it on good authority that this would start a new atom based religion.
i imagine the engineering required to get an ICBM to a random pizza hut would be worth a conversation too
This is 100% fed posting. I'm not telling you what I got up my sleeve!
load more comments
(1 replies)
Help myself to around β¬200,000 worth of now-free iPhones from the warehouse
Iβd torture the shit it out of the parasite sack of shit that is my landlord
Nice try mr. Copper! π
I would rob some things I want. Not the money, only the the stuff hahahahaha
load more comments
(2 replies)
I'd go to Iowa and lie about butter.
view more: next βΊ