I’d go rob the people that made my entire 20’s and 30’s into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I could’ve used to get out of that contract.
The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49
Quick question: How does it reach this figure?
It was the CitiAssist.
It had to be a private student loan because my parents made slightly over the max to qualify to public loans even though they refused to pay for school. That left me with loans with insane interest rates. Most of what I had to borrow was to cover $150k to pay rent in the college town I lived in while attending school.
Then, Joe Biden wrote the bankruptcy protection bill, making it impossible for students to disburse their student loans in bankruptcy two years after I graduated. They also refused to allow me to consolidate 8 loans which all had monthly payments that were each intentionally calculated as if it was the only loan I had to pay. Then my loans got bought and moved around and are now owned by Trellis. There’s a lot more to it as well. Housing and healthcare plays a HUGE part.
TLDR; hyper-commodification of basic human needs like education, housing, healthcare, and food coupled with legislation that sentences those that can’t pay their feudal lord up front to a lifetime of serfdom. (Not to mention my union wages barely keeping pace with inflation).
I had a loan like this one. Probably a plus loan. For a while the rates for plus loans eclipsed 8% and plus loans accrue interest while you are in school. So if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can take on 4 years of interest before you even start paying. Turns a $20k loan into a $30k loan before you even graduate. Plus loans recapitalize interest whenever they come out of deferral so you actually pay interest on the interest as well. So by the time you pay the loan off that is then $41k in total payments for what was originally a 20k loan
Do this 4 times for each year of undergrad and you’ll have 164000 in total loan payments over your lifetime.
Plus loans are a government backed scam to fuck over poor kids who can’t front the cash for what the federal aid program covers. My base grants were only ~40k over 4 years and my federal unsubsidized and subsidized loans only were ~24k over 4 years.
Meanwhile the prestigious university I was accepted to charged 24k per semester. So I had 64k of aid and low interest loans to pay a tuition of 192k. After my work study added an additional 20k/yr I was still short 48k and poof there the plus loans were to “help” me.
I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).
So i'd do that
I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.
tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here
I'd go to the art museum and consume copious amounts of hallucinogens.
I did that at the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam
Great museum, I saw the "Potato Eaters" there.
~~Illegal~~ Legal immigration.
I didn't even think of that. i could apply for US and EU passports
Why'd you go for a US passport considering their globally reaching tax laws?
So i pay an accountant to file a tax return once a year. Seems okay. It's a powerful passport
I would move to Scandinavia, maybe Denmark or Netherlands.
Crime means breaking the law, correct?
No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.
I would:
It's fun to dream of the impossible.
The law does not currently prevent me from doing anything I want to do.
I keep my head down. No legal consequences isn’t the same thing as no consequences.
if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.
I'm a renter, so I'd throw a brick through each window of my property manager's tesla.
Jaywalk then torrent a movie.
It's crazy that you guys in the US can get a ticket for crossing the road
Rob Fort Knox.
Rip the toupee off trumps head and get a good picture.
you still gotta deal with security though remember
Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7
Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.
I'd like to do some proper money laundering but I'd need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn't an issue, I'd hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.
Nuke the world.
That's not murder; it's a war crime.
Rob a bank.
it might be legal but you still have to deal with security
> Tries to rob a bank
> gets shot
Go shoplift anything I want. Snack/trinket party!
Transmitting radio without a license
Arson.
I would steal a single nuclear icbm and take it to a pizza hut and just leave it there. Just seems like it would cause some interesting conversations.
i imagine the engineering required to get an ICBM to a random pizza hut would be worth a conversation too
I’d torture the shit it out of the parasite sack of shit that is my landlord
This is 100% fed posting. I'm not telling you what I got up my sleeve!
Help myself to around €200,000 worth of now-free iPhones from the warehouse
Nice try mr. Copper! 😝
I would rob some things I want. Not the money, only the the stuff hahahahaha
I'd go to Iowa and lie about butter.
Speeding. Oh wait... nevermind.
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