this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Stop pretending like you don't fart when you pee, there's no shame in it. That's typically the time to moan, if you're going to do it.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

All while you’re looking your urinal neighbor straight in the eye.

[–] Mercury@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Relevant username

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Do it again, but include sneezing this time.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago

Then add cumming

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Personally, I'd find it very concerning if I went to piss and farts started coming out instead.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If you hold farts in till you go to the restroom, its a natural time they'll come out as you relax while peeing.

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

But farts aren't supposed to come out of your pee hole.

...Right?

[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Urethrarts are dangerous, consult a doctor

What am I supposed to say, "Doctor, I pee carbonated."

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[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 year ago

Not with that attitude.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What does pee holes have to do with it. It's just about relaxing the muscles in the area that were holding the farts and pee so the farts come out too.

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[–] PineRune@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wouldn't the fart bubbles make the pee go everywhere? Like air bubbles in a garden hose when you first turn it on.

[–] JoeyHarrington@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago

No the farts actually assist with urine release from the urethra. It's healthy.

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[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

Iirc that's called a Fistula.

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 32 points 1 year ago

checks community

Yep, we're in the right place, boys.

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Where is the case where I'm being efficient and do everything in 1 go?

[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 year ago

That is the entire second row about

[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 year ago

What like brushing your teeth or showering?

[–] Lime66@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

So pissing while farting sucks but farting while pissing is OK?

[–] Eccitaze@yiffit.net 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Do you drop trou and stand in front of a toilet every time you need to toot the flesh whistle?

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Yeah the top one is accidental so if you're farting you're probably still wearing your pants

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I always put down my pants when I fart.

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 6 points 1 year ago

Farting in the office must be doubly awkward.

and aim at the ceiling. we call that room "pollock's corner"

Same for shitting/pissing.

[–] HappyFrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Reading this was very confusing until i realized some people don't sit down to piss.

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[–] robocall@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Ah yes, I often shit while I shit.

[–] sag@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Sometimes you think youre done and as you go to wipe, guts are like "but wait, theres more!"

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on

That's a matter of opinion.

[–] Bruncvik@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

The picture doesn't do justice to the evil that is sharting. Especially in the middle of a long run.

[–] twinnie@feddit.uk 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I honestly think I’d rather shit myself while farting than piss myself. If you shit yourself you can hide it and clean up. If you piss yourself everyone can see.

[–] ajoebyanyothername@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I feel like you're overestimating your ability to subtly shit yourself.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And the smell. And the potential liquid.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

Yeah, sharts aren't exactly known for being a solid log.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 1 year ago

Nobody shits themselves with a solid.

I haven't stopped shitting for the last... checks watch twenty two years. Any combo is nice. The triple is a beaut

[–] rimmedalpha@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Center bottom is all wrong. Should be this:

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Shitting turns out to be the most hazardous activity of the trifecta.

[–] NerdyPopRocks@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

A remarkable example of a non-Hermitian operator

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