this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 90 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Just arrest his ass as soon as he touches Venezuelan soil

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 52 points 11 months ago

knock him out, lock him up for crimes against humanity

[–] gueybana@hexbear.net 46 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

God dude that would be so fucking glorious. Titty head going to Venezuela thinking he’s getting into an octogon like some dumbfuck only to get aressted with no extradition

[–] CyberSyndicalist@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago

not-a-journalist We will arrest whoever we want! Deal with it.

[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago

Better yet give someone a doohickey

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 79 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Please kill him in the ring Señor Presidente timmy-pray

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[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 68 points 11 months ago (2 children)

This is too cool to ever happen

[–] BlueMagaChud@hexbear.net 44 points 11 months ago

for real, countdown until my-hero "gets covid" or whatever excuse

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Last time he pussed out because Zuck was going to rock his weird fat torso. If I remember correctly, his actual mommy got involved to try and save face for him 😂🤣😭

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 65 points 11 months ago

I tend to give a degree of critical support to Maduro, but him taking out Elon Musk would literally make him the best president of this century.

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 58 points 11 months ago (1 children)

this is how western liberals temporarily become chavistas

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 45 points 11 months ago (2 children)

nah, it’ll be “i don’t like melon, but you have to support 99% hitler” us-foreign-policy shit

[–] heggs_bayer@hexbear.net 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Supporting 99% Hitler against 0% Hitler.

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 27 points 11 months ago

yes, but in the liberal mind everyone to the left of them is 100% hitler

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"I don't support petty dictators with fragile egos who violently put down any criticism or opposition"

So you support Maduro?

[–] axont@hexbear.net 51 points 11 months ago (1 children)

there is a 100% chance that Maduro has been in a fist fight before

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

Wasn't he a bus driver? I'm sure he had to deal with some unruly shit

[–] ProletarianDictator@hexbear.net 51 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 50 points 11 months ago (1 children)

he will never follow through with it but has to act tough for his white supremacist audience

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, he never fought Zuckerberg. Dude will just keep doing the "Fight me, Bro!" routine for the rest of his days.

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

"hold me back!"

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 48 points 11 months ago
[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 47 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Maduro would roll him up into a donut hole and dunk him in his coffee maduro-coffee

[–] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 46 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm 100% sure this doesn't happen, but if there's one world leader over the age of 50 I wouldn't want to get into a fistfight with, it's Maduro. The dude is 6'3" and looks like the kind of guy who throws absolute sledgehammers.

[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 43 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Elon is about 6'2" though I think.

What it comes down to is:

bus driver labor union leader (in a continent where union leaders often meet grisly fates), involved with militant leftist groups, who also at one point worked as a bodyguard to a presidential candidate

versus... a billionaire mall ninja

[–] Aru@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 11 months ago
[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

Not only that, but in my experience latam bus drivers are some hard-ass motherfuckers with zero chill. It's pretty much a requirement of the job. Chuds and liberals like to clown on Maduro for having worked as a bus driver, but he's the kind of person i'd last want to fighy.

[–] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 45 points 11 months ago

We need to create a bot army to try to convince Elon that it'll be so epic if he does it in Venezuela so Maduro can kill that man and get away with it

[–] miz@hexbear.net 44 points 11 months ago

countdown until his mom makes an excuse for him

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 40 points 11 months ago

do it Maduro make the people happy

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maduro is a big boy. That footage of him talking to Macron looks like a teacher softly disciplining their student. He could probably one-hit kill Musk.

[–] CyberSyndicalist@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

don't kink shame Macron

[–] SexMachineStalin@hexbear.net 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Excited to see Maduro pull up to the ring with a folding steel chair and deliver an earth-shattering slam dunk on Elon Musket with an accompanying hamas-red-triangle

[–] AtomPunk@hexbear.net 29 points 11 months ago

I want Maduro to give Musk the Oberyn Martell treatment party-sicko

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago

Oh God please please let musk actually go through with this and get his ass handed to him by maduro-katana-1maduro-katana-2

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago (1 children)

lol, why does the Muskrat keep challenging people into fights? Does he genuinely think he's a tough guy?

At least the outcome here isn't as obvious as Putin, who would've destroyed Musk despite being about 20 years older. Maduro would still win, though.

[–] reaper_cushions@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

He knows it won’t happen.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

I will become a demsoc or whatever Maduro calls himself these days if he beats Musk to death.

[–] Moonworm@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago

Little does Elon know that Maduro's Loyal Retainer Seagall is ready to take his place in the duel. We'll see if apartheid has anything on aikido.

[–] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago
[–] Barx@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

Please I need this

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago
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