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Help me out here (lemmy.world)
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[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago

"Hi, I'm Gabe"

[-] ving_thor@lemmy.world 150 points 5 days ago

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."

[-] dalekcaan@lemm.ee 35 points 5 days ago

Remember Kif: the fastest way to a woman's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.

[-] genuineparts@infosec.pub 39 points 5 days ago

If i said you have a nice body would you take off your clothes and do a little dance?

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago

"I am no longer infected!"

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Bouncy bouncy

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[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

Well at least there's something we can all agree on.

[-] AceSLS@ani.social 45 points 5 days ago

Relevant last place comic:

[-] DumbAceDragon@sh.itjust.works 112 points 5 days ago

Idk why but censoring R*ddit is way funnier than it should be

[-] yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com 52 points 5 days ago

Oh it's reddit? I thought it was censoring out a name of a planet.

[-] kionite231@lemmy.ca 7 points 5 days ago

Huh I thought it's a country name.

[-] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 days ago

Given the image, I first thought it was a sci-fi planet.

[-] yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com 1 points 2 days ago

It makes it funnier because it implies that earth women are a dead end for this gamer

[-] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I prefer Re***t

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

It’s the most ****it sentence over ever read

[-] lauha@lemmy.one 102 points 5 days ago

If by immediate you mean in govermental decision making scale i.e. couple of weeks or months then I once saw a guy being an actual decent person to be around without expecting anything in return and he had no problem getting around.

[-] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 78 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Nah. You see I stay in my room 23 and a half hours a day. What I would prefer is if they could be Lured to my room and then I say the thing and then we plow. Like your plan is good but I dunno. At a minimum, how long would this plan require me to be outside of my room for?

[-] kamenlady@lemmy.world 27 points 5 days ago
[-] Technus@lemmy.zip 19 points 5 days ago

Well shit, that's a non-starter then.

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[-] Ithral@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 5 days ago

Become a trapdoor spider, and leave a basket of Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards outside your door as bait?

Step two say ????? No idea what really. Maybe cross your fingers you have a shared interest and the whole kidnapping thing isn't a big deal.

Step three be in a relationship, and probably learn to leave room more often.

[-] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Yeah I know 3 different plus sized gamers who are happily married

[-] muzzle@lemm.ee 25 points 4 days ago

No clue, but I would start by not referring to them as females, just a hunch.

[-] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago

"You should smile more. You'd be a lot prettier"

[-] Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone 77 points 5 days ago

Maybe start by not referring to them as ‘females’ or talking about ‘luring’ them to your room

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 65 points 5 days ago

TIL: there is such a thing as a stupid question.

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 3 days ago

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

[-] MTK@lemmy.world 47 points 5 days ago

I heard that showing her how unfair it is that just because you are nice no one wants to sleep with you, is the best way to make her sleep with you out of obvious obligation to your nice personality and unjust fate

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 15 points 5 days ago

Also in this context being weird and shy counts as nice. You don't actually have to make any effort!

[-] radicalautonomy@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

And you simply must begin and end every sentence with uWu, obviously.

[-] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Well maybe they’ve gotten enough nice points they can turn them in for one sex?

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 points 3 days ago

Of course! They showered last week and everything!

[-] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 48 points 5 days ago

“Plus Size Gamer”

Dude, we’re fat or even obese.

[-] proctonaut@lemmy.world 60 points 5 days ago
[-] Kyyrypyy@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago

Sounds like a great band name

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 14 points 5 days ago

rubenesque gamer

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[-] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago

You don't have to say anything, just show them the sweet skills you've developed while studying the blade.

[-] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 5 days ago

I used to know one who would go for "here's $100", though that was many many years ago and I don't know if she still lives that kind of life. I haven't kept up with anyone from high-school, much less friends of friends.

[-] ArcticAmphibian@lemmus.org 17 points 5 days ago

"$3 million/year, 1 night/week."

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[-] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 16 points 5 days ago
Han shot first
[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

John Madden. Football.

[-] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 8 points 5 days ago

"plus sized"

[-] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 7 points 5 days ago

There's one in the Austin Powers movies with a funny scottish accent.

I don't think he's not a gamer tho. "Dead sexy" funny guy nonetheless.

[-] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I believe his pick up line was: "Listen missy, do you fancy another go? Because once you've had fat you never go back."

He had other lines the ladies love like:

"First things first. Where’s your shitter?! I’ve got a turtle head poking out!"

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[-] Bertuccio@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

The prequels were better

[-] Bertuccio@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Well, actually...

[-] Senseless@feddit.org 5 points 5 days ago

This is semi unrelated, but I think still somewhat fitting. There's this one guy in our festival group that sometimes is away, no one knows where he's at but chances are high, he's fucking someone. He's that kind of guy, that ladies fall for when he drops lines like "hi, I'm (redacted) and how do your pants open?"

If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it.

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this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2024
396 points (94.4% liked)

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