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[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 279 points 6 months ago

For those curious, from Wikipedia:

Giving birth is difficult for female hyenas, as the females give birth through their narrow clitoris, and spotted hyena cubs are the largest carnivoran young relative to their mothers' weight. During parturition, the clitoris ruptures to facilitate the passage of the young, and may take weeks to heal.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 100 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Eve: “So, what’s she do to piss off god?”
Serpent: “you don’t even wanna know.”

Eh the Christian god really is an asshole,

[-] cm0002@lemmy.world 54 points 6 months ago
[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 35 points 6 months ago

I’m with the other person… if it was intelligent design… it was some world creation game and we’re in a speed run save.

[-] Icalasari@fedia.io 30 points 6 months ago

Or we have the equivalent of some Spore player who likes to make fucked up creatures for the sake of it

[-] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 7 points 6 months ago

assume infinite time and n number of ants: eventually Langton's ants will highway-draw the post on your screen

[-] sukhmel@programming.dev 3 points 6 months ago

It is incorrect, but the amount of possibilities is indeed very great

[-] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 months ago

wot if they're running on hexagons rather than squares? HM? Or 3D dodecahedrons?...wait do those tile?

[-] OtherPetard@feddit.nl 1 points 6 months ago

Love the conversations on the WTF Evolution tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/wtfevolution

[-] littlebluespark@lemmy.world 27 points 6 months ago

Abrahamic* to be precise. They're all the same asshole, just different names. (And, even that was listed from earlier cultures' traditions, FFS. Lazy, unoriginal, and fucking stupid? That tracks for religion all around, really.)

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 19 points 6 months ago

I love how the gen 1 creation story basically reads like schoolboys one upping their friends about how great their dad is.

“Yeah. Well, my god made the world and everything in it! and he took a nap on. The seventh day!!!

[-] littlebluespark@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago

Swap out "schoolboys" with "old fear-mongering pervs", and you're even closer to the historical truth.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago

well, they were old fearmongering pervs, no doubt.

I was just referring to the simple fact that the creation account was a cloned copy of all the others... just wit that squeaky "Yeah well my dad's twice the fireman your dad is" vibe. Sad they used their supposed power of their god to justify rampant invasions and genocide. (which they failed at the genocide because they were too busy raping...)

[-] littlebluespark@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

They didn't fail at genocide. That's not an absolute, it's a process. They may've failed at outright extinction most often (though some scattered empires of old would point out that they were destroyed by religion), but genocide is an inalienable aspect of every single religion known to mankind. Right up there with molesting children and blatantly plagiarizing "sacred" text whole cloth from other grifter "holy" men.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

They failed the first time around (“invasion” of the Canaanite lands, where they were told to genocide their neighbors.)

[-] littlebluespark@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

"They" aren't anywhere near the first, mind you, and again: genocide describes a series of actions, not just the culmination (unlike "extinction", as I said).

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 6 months ago

Fun fact, there's a metaphorical dick-measuring contest in the bible, 1 Kings 18, 21 onwards (had to google it). Basically, Elijah wanted to prove GAHD was greater than Baal. Long story short, GAHD proved HE could light firewood that's been dumped with water 4 times, while Baal was busy ignoring his followers from dawn to midday.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 87 points 6 months ago

I uh... I was expecting it to be something like they eat a percentage of their own babies or something. Fuck that. Sounds like it would feel like giving birth through a penis.

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 59 points 6 months ago

Fun fact: Female hyenas have a pseudopenis that prolapses into a dick that they rape their brothers with when they’re young

[-] charlytune@mander.xyz 64 points 6 months ago

I don't feel like I'm having fun here...

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 6 months ago

Sometimes their hyena pseudo-penises fully rip off when they give birth, causing them to bleed to death!

[-] charlytune@mander.xyz 9 points 6 months ago
[-] Shou@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago
[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 6 months ago
[-] Shou@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

I remember trying to check this years ago, and finding that female hyena's don't try to mate with each other, nor do they try to mount males. So I'm curious as to where you found that info.

[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 25 points 6 months ago

It sounds very much like that. Maybe worse.

[-] Affidavit@aussie.zone 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I was expecting it to be something like they eat a percentage of their own babies or something.

Well... If you insist.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tasmanian_devil

"Gestation lasts 21 days, and devils give birth to 20–30 young standing up ... As there are only four nipples in the pouch, competition is fierce, and few newborns survive."

One guess as to what happens to the spares.

[-] Zozano@aussie.zone 56 points 6 months ago

b4oi5phlztu71-2836181477

This might help.

Female Hyena's have what is called a pseudo-penis. Which is used for sex and urination, as well as giving birth.

Obviously giving birth splits it open fucks your whole year / life up.

[-] onlinepersona@programming.dev 4 points 6 months ago

My only question is: why would they evolve like that?

Or alternatively, what the fuck were they before that gave birth like this?

Anti Commercial-AI license

[-] Zozano@aussie.zone 4 points 6 months ago

Majority of male hyenas had a docking fetish, and evolution facilitated their needs.

[-] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 months ago

Because they didn't die like that.

[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Probably just "regular" mammals.

Mammals have a lot of weird dick things. Some bats have gone from penetrative sex back to just like touching genitals because their dicks are so huge they literally don't fit anymore.

https://www.livescience.com/animals/bats/bats-with-weirdly-giant-penis-have-sex-for-up-to-12-hours-in-a-way-never-seen-in-mammals-before

So having a impractically huge dick was more important for some reason.

Guess something similar happened with hyenas vis-a-vis having become matriarchal at some point.

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 months ago

UGS is my favourite rap group

RIP young Pimp Clitoris With UGS

[-] blazeknave@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Whoosh* What am I missing?

[-] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 43 points 6 months ago
[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 15 points 6 months ago

"Because fuck you all" - Evolution

[-] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 42 points 6 months ago
[-] SpeakinTelnet@programming.dev 60 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Hyenas are matriarchals and they fucking deserve it.

Edit: They deserve their social position, not being ripped apart if that wasn't clear

[-] illi@lemm.ee 68 points 6 months ago

It absolutely wasn't clear lol

[-] Glifted@lemmy.world 61 points 6 months ago

The original message and the explanation were a rollercoaster for me. Not going to lie

[-] flicker@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago

I think I got whiplash.

[-] Lesrid@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Interesting how ~~colloquially~~ connotatively "earn it" is more positive than "deserve it"

[-] SpeakinTelnet@programming.dev 3 points 6 months ago

I debated between the edit and "earn it" but I figured at this point the edit would be better.

[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 28 points 6 months ago

Hey, the cartoon dog did warn us.

[-] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 6 months ago

Hyenas got shafted. And, shafted.

this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
586 points (96.5% liked)

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