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[-] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 40 points 6 months ago

Or the opposite. “Howdy! Need directions? i just cleaned the grill and that clicking sound is the boot on your passenger-side CV joint.”

[-] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 20 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I'm the guy in the neighborhood where the conversations go like this:

Them: "Hey jubilationtcornpone, do you have a tool for doing [obscure DIY job] and if so, can I borrow it?"

Me: "Oh yeah, I have one of those. Sure, you can borrow it."

Them: "Ha! That's awesome. I just knew you'd have one. How do you even figure out how to use all those tools?"

Me: "You start by being too poor or too cheap to pay someone else to do it correctly."

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

And you keep the once in a lifetime tools because you're too poor to risk having to buy it again some day.

[-] Buelldozer@lemmy.today 7 points 6 months ago

If you don't start off poor then you start by being too cheap to trust someone else to do it correctly. When you get older you graduate to not TRUSTING someone else to do it correctly. That leads to you being poor because you start spending a zillion dollars on tools.

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

“Yay! Visitors!”

[-] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I've met this guy. He was awesome. He made great food. And the clicking sound from my car was, indeed, exactly what he said.

[-] dudinax@programming.dev 2 points 6 months ago

That sounds expensive.

[-] JackLSauce@lemmy.world 39 points 6 months ago

How I feel when people needlessly use a preposition to end a sentence with

[-] Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago

That rule doesn't actually exist in English. It's a Latin rule that some British asshole in the 1800s wanted to impose on English because he believed that Latin was a perfect language and anything that works differently from Latin is a flaw to be corrected.

[-] JackLSauce@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago
[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

You mean, hard mode is what you play on.

[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Hard is the mode on which I play.

[-] frostysauce@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I play with hard mode on.

Edit: Dammit, someone beat me to the joke.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

The point is that "in" doesn't need to be in the text at all.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 6 months ago
[-] PatMustard@feddit.uk 2 points 6 months ago

"How dads feel when a stranger uses their driveway in which to turn around" makes you sound like a bit of a wanker though

[-] JackLSauce@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago
  1. You can just drop the "in" altogether

  2. Why just "sound like" when I can be?

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[-] doublejay1999@lemmy.world 25 points 6 months ago

I’m lucky enough to have a driveway and can confirm it is sovereign land awarded to me by God.

However, I have not yet reached the age where I conduct active patrols of the border, like the even older dads across the street have done.

[-] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago

I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

[-] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago

My father when turning around in a driveway would always say: "Don't bake a cake because we can't stay long."

[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 16 points 6 months ago

Pretty much the same thing when you live along a highway and someone starts slowing down near your house

[-] Nougat@fedia.io 14 points 6 months ago

How did you get such a clear picture of me?

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago

I got up close by using your driveway. You were right to glare.

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

Gate it if you dont want it used by the public

[-] Psychodelic@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

*insecure dads

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

These are what they assume the occupants are like:

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 months ago

Car stops on the street in front of the house .... Garrison at attention!!!

Car starts backing up towards the driveway .... All forces on high alert! Man your stations!!!

Car starts moving onto the driveway .... Cease all operations!! Men at your stations!!! We're dispatching a warning party!!!

Car drives away ..... Cancel all alerts!!! Go back to your patrols!

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Why would you back up into a driveway to turn around? Going in forward seems easier.

[-] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Then you'd have to back up into traffic, and you're blasting your headlights into someone's living room.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Knock… Draw… Hold… Hold… Hold…

[-] danekrae@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

I'm guilty of this.

To make matters worse, I'm not a dad; and I live in an apartment...

[-] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 5 points 6 months ago

Same here, I even live very urban, essentially right in the heart of the city. I still catch myself disapprovingly eyeing people walking by my windows on occasion. Am I getting old?

[-] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

My grandfather lived on a corner lot. The man hung barbed wire (with a clear sign) across his driveway. Every time we visited, without fail, we heard the sound of someone needing a paint job.

[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

“Are we blind?! Deploy the garrison!”

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 6 months ago

This must be in Europe. In the USA, our old dads shoot people for pulling into the driveway.

[-] Buelldozer@lemmy.today 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Ah yes an entire country of 340,000,000 people is definitely defined by the actions of a couple of homicidal morons.

This is why I stay out of Britain, it's pretty obvious that they are all maniacs just waiting to kill you with a sword.

Gotta avoid France too, those baguette munching asshats are just waiting to kill anyone who enters a park.

Gotta stay out of Germany too, they'll shank ya' for riding the train.

I stay out of Spain as well 'cuz they'll just gun you down in the street.

In fact its probably best just to stay home if possible, there's entire continents full people out there just waiting to murder you!

[-] positiveWHAT@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Was gonna say, I still remember that USA guy being shot .

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this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
707 points (98.2% liked)

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