Beer can't
this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2026
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Second healthbar
"This isn't even my final form"
This happened to me exactly once. It was a can of Coca-Cola that I’ve gotten out of a vending machine. This is back in the 1990s, so it still had that customer satisfaction 800 number on the back of the can. I called, and they were so surprised that they sent me a 6 pack of Coca-Cola right to my house as an apology (after I sent in a photo of the can).
calling a number on a can and being connected to a human sounds kind of improbable by now :/
Yeah, those are the days.
Do you wanna hear something crazy? I actually worked for Dell tech-support from 1997 to 1999. You know, back when it was really really good.
Ah, those were the days…
Dell pissed me off so fucking bad. I had spent an extra 300 bucks on the stupid warranty then something happened (I don't really remember whatever thing that was broken} and they wouldn't replace whatever it was. (This was a VERY long time ago) They said it was not under warranty. So now I'll never own another Dell.
Did you have to send an actual physical photo through the post?
I ask because that was a unique time of tech transformation. I might have had a digital camera then, but being able to email a photo wasn't yet common enough to be assumed to be possible or convenient for everyone. Just the fact that it was an 800 number and not an email for customer service says a lot. I'm reminded of watching the first Scream movie recently, where cell phones existed, but were rare enough that having one fall out of character's pocket made them immediately suspicious. A detail that would be totally inconsequential today.
Yes, I did. It was 1994 or thereabouts, so digital cameras weren’t really a thing yet. I mean, they existed, but they weren’t a common consumer item. I took a Polaroid, lol. That’s what I mailed in.
I had a 35mm, but I didn’t feel like getting a whole roll of film developed just for that one photo.
return/exchange it. I've worked in canning and you can't count on it to have a proper seal, and it could have picked up and cultured any number of harmful organisms. We sent a double lidded can to testing with our regular shelf life testing batch and it blew up from something culturing.
I would’ve just taken the nearest knife and stabbed it violently in a fit of rage, but that sounds more civil
Just take your P-38 and/or P-51 can opener and cut the top off. Easy.
My dad kept a P-38 on his keys for most of his life. I believe it cut significantly more skin and pants pockets than it ever did can lids.
Nice hiss.
Best I can do is a Makita model 9557PB corded angle grinder, with a masonry disk, since I never feel like swapping back to actual cutting disc, and the concrete blade seems to cut metal just fine.
The extra grit in your drink puts hairs on your chest.
Looks like you have a drinking problem.
canned can
I think that might happen if for one reason or another the machine that places the can top parts happened to place 2 instead of one
You can tell it’s fancy cause it’s wrapped twice. You open it, and it still ain’t open.
Shotgun time
Ah. All your openers quit on you. Hello, Ed.
I want to believe both the tongs and the butter knife were pivotal in prying the rest open
Yo, dawg, we heard you like tabs...
You found the mini boss. 2 health bars.
Yeah, but when you finally get down to the last can you get to experience that sick ass matroyshka buzz.
You found the bottom of reality. It’s just cans all the way down, baby.
Another bottle-cappery!
I cast curse of the recursive
1/10 shitpost, mildly infuriating at best
Don’t mind me, I’m just clearing my camera roll.