i would get the fuck out too if somebody started to rip apart my ceiling before he catches me

I woke up one night to what sounded like a bird, coming from down the hall.

At the end of the hall was my bathroom.

I walk in. As soon as I turn on the lights , the sound stops.

The sound is almost identical to the sound my pet parrot makes when distressed.

The bathroom is small. I check all over. The only place the sound could possibly be coming from was a vent by the outside wall.

Now already I had issues with two baby black birds getting into a different wall by the back of the tub . They got in the attic and fell down into the space and luckily there was a panel behind the faucets so I was able to get them out. Another time I found their sibling in the basement.

Anywho I checked both of those too but no bird.

So now I'm thinking. A damn bird somehow got into the vent duct. It was an old building. I knew birds were getting into the attic. I could see them going in under the gutter/roof And I knew they could get to the basement from there. So who knows.

No noise the whole time I'm in the bathroom. I even looked outside on the balcony and no birds anywhere. I listened at the drains. Nothing.

So I remove the vent cover.

No bird. No sounds. I use my phone to look around in it. Okay maybe I'm crazy.

I go back to bed. Sound starts again.

And again. As soon as I flip the light on in the bathroom, it stops.

This happens 2 more times. I go back to bed. Then wait. The sound starts up. I go to the bathroom. It stops.

It's a very loud distressed bird sound. I can't just let some poor little bird die in my vent!

I'm getting more and more distressed by this.

Eventually I decide I'm going to pry up the baseboard by the vent. And hopefully get more access to the duct.

I get my tools. As I'm preparing I happen to move the shower curtain into the tub. As it was a 2 layer one with plastic inside and fabric outside. It's just left of the vent.

When I moved the curtain a big gigantic black cricket jumped out and started making the bird sound.

Apparently because he was right next to the porcelain tub and the bathroom was small, it was creating this big amplification of his song. To the point it sounded like a bird.

And when I would turn on the lights, he would stop to hide his location.

I was this close to destroying the wall in my rental property over a cricket.

Real talk: floor looks water damaged.

Real talk how many bodies did Poe hid in various buildings?

Better to know and not be able to walk around on your floor (that might have had someone underneath it), than to be able to walk around on your floor (that might have someone underneath it) and not know.

Think of it as opportunity to insulate the floor!

Rookie mistake. The Voices are always coming from the walls.

What if they were buried under the house?

The meth is strong with this one!

Weird noises happen at night in the house.

Me: It's the cat.

My brain: But, what if...

Me: It's the fucking cat, go back to sleep.

They did the scoring backwards, right?

Maybe they're in those plastic bags or whatever that is?

Hurry and hide something there, now that they looked!