Bet that dude jumps when someone else's Grindr notification goes off out in public.

“You never see a giraffe, a male giraffe, that mate(s) with a giraffe,” Rod Joseph said. “Myself right now saying, ‘I am a giraffe,’ that doesn’t mean it’s true.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals

Giraffes

Further information: Giraffe § Necking

Male giraffes have been observed to engage in remarkably high frequencies of homosexual behavior. After aggressive "necking", it is common for two male giraffes to caress and court each other, leading up to mounting and climax. Such interactions between males have been found to be more frequent than heterosexual coupling.[95]

Giraffes are famous for engaging in extensive same-sex behavior. Studies have documented that up to 94% of observed mating-like activity happens between males, often involving intense caressing, "necking" (rubbing necks), and mounting

Well, yes, I personally have never seen a male giraffe mate with another male giraffe. I've never seen a male and a female giraffe mate, either. In fact I've never seen a giraffe in the wild at all.

So I'm gonna take this one step further and say giraffes don't exist in the wild. Every giraffe that exists lives in zoos because that's the only place I, personally, have ever seen them. Any evidence to the contrary is fake news.

Am I Republicaning correctly?

Meanwhile, Grindr profile views and hookups peak every time there's a Republican held convention.

BREAKING: U.S. Rep. Andy Ogles (R-TN) caught in public restroom having sex with another man

I wish I knew how to get people to care about things that actually matter even 10% as much as they care about things that will never, ever affect their lives in any material way... and are also NONE OF THEIR GODDAMNED FUCKING BUSINESS.

Why do you care if someone likes dick?

“You cannot be born gay. That’s impossible biologically,” he added, stating his sureness that sexuality is a preference, not a biological orientation.

In my limited experience, I have read plenty of anecdotes where someone has this point of view, only to later realise that they’re bisexual.

I mean, this is so on the nose, it has to be on purpose.

How much animal porn is this guy watching that he thinks he's an expert on animal mating habits?

I love how all these conservatives have medical degrees and specialties. I had no idea that we had so many doctors in the US. Where is our free healthcare if we have such a surplus of 'expert' medical professionals???

Aren't giraffes known for being the most gay out of almost all animal species? Or am I thinking of another animal?

Plenty of queer animals throughout the animal Kingdom.

Sir, how many giraffes did you survey to come to this conclusion?

Republicans will claim that giraffes aren't gay and then shoot them anyway.

Shouldn't there be some law or something to remove people in office who blatantly lie like this? Surely someone with this kind of attitude could not uphold democracy. They are a threat to national security.

Tell that to Proximo, dude.

Those giraffes you sold him, they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold him... queer giraffes. He wants his money back.

In other news, unicorns are straight

That dude definitely wants to fuck a giraffe.

I wish I could just start a country and allow politicians to rule it but whenever one of them says anything about sexuality or immigrants it's just straight to the guillotine.

Well maybe we can just start doing that regardless of whether or not we start a new country first.