Okay, okay... I think I'm getting it. You're saying darker skinned people are in Drag! I think I've got it now.
this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2026
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I can love and respect anyone doing their thing and not hurting anyone else. Great guide.
Can also be gender fluid and alternate between all of these, for extra confusion!
What's next, love and respect for women!?
so which one is jax from the amazing digital circus?
A dick
How about self-described sissies and crossdressers? They deserve love and respect too of course, but my understanding is that they differ in some ways (when/why/how) from all of these.
Sissy is a fetish thing.
Crossdresser is a broader, but outdated term. It can refer to a fetish or simply that somebody is technically wearing the gendered clothes against their current gender.
Like "gay" and "straight", a lot of these terms are outdated and don't mean anything once your education gets past a certain point. Just like a lot of other higher education stuffs, they have the simplified and/or outdated terms... and then actual understanding.
How about self-described sissies and crossdressers?
Isn't a crossdresser just an antiquated term for a femboy? Those seem to describe the exact same phenomenon - a person who adopts the clothing and other social aspects of the opposite gender without identifying as that gender.
The term crossdresser has fallen out favor, as it's long held negative connotations. But definitionally, I think a crossdresser and a femboy are the exact same thing.
The trans community has a history of reinventing terms. A lot of the same divisions that exist in the community now existed 20 years ago. The words have just changed. My mapping of new to old terms:
Transsexual -> transsex at best, transmed/truscum at worst
Crossdresser -> femboy
Genderqueer -> various flavors of nonbinary
Transvestite experience -> gender euphoria
Sissy fantasy/scenario -> boy removal fantasy/scenario
A lot of these terms have negative connotations. And we've replaced them with more neutral terms. But people are people; we're still describing the same phenomena. The trans community exists on the euphemism treadmill. We invent terms, those terms gain a negative connotation, so we invent new terms. Those develop a negative connotation. We're always in a never-ending race away from what was the polite and respectable rhetoric of a decade or two in the past.
I don't think crossdresser and femboy have the same connotation. And I feel kind of like the cosplay community reclaimed the term as a positive. I've seen crossdressing or cross used to describe genderswapped cosplay characters (I assume in positive contexts because the costumes I saw were amazing)
i have trouble understanding sissies and cross dressers. on the one hand i get it, my first experiences of gender euphoria turned me on in a big way. but on the other hand that mostly went away the more feminine ive become and the more often ive felt gender euphoria. it feels normal and right to be femme all the time, so it really doesnt turn me on by itself anymore. is it really just a fetish for them, or are they trans femmes who cant fully acknowledge their gender to themselves?
it feels like theres something deeper going on with them but im not in their head, and i suspect if there is theres a component of denial that would make it hard to figure out as an outsider.
Well gender and gender expression are social constructs, right? So why do you think they're so static and immutable? Especially as a person who seems to have experienced changes in this regard first-hand.
Do you ask the same questions about nonbinary folks, i.e. whether it's a fetish or they just can't acknowledge their true gender? I suspect many would find that distasteful, if not intolerant. We already have words for trans and questioning people so the fact that these folks don't choose those labels suggests maybe they don't fit.
obviously no i wouldnt question nonbinary folks in the same way, nor gender fluid folks nor agender folks nor any other gender identity. are you saying being a sissy or crossdresser is a gender identity in itself? that really isnt how its been presented by them since they often identify as men. its presented as only a fetish, which isnt the same as gender identity at all, any more than being a sub, dom, or cuck is. it evokes the fetishization of trans women and plays into it, which makes me kind of uncomfortable because i dont really want to be fetishized.
i can feel this turning into a shit throwing semantic argument where we talk past each other and get nowhere. at the end of the day i dont understand sissies and crossdressers, so unless you want to explain their feelings to me i would prefer not to be attacked.
Sissy in particular likely stems from the social taboo of not performing to your gender's role, it's just a form of humiliation kink. Might be more common in closeted/egg transfems because it's a somewhat safer way of being feminine in a context, it just happens to be sexual.
And crossdressing is a super wide term anyway but in a sexual context I'd think it's just roleplay
I genuinely don't know if those are gender identities. The world is a big place so I would guess to at least some people they are. I really don't think I'm qualified to draw the line between fetishizing one person's identity or kink-shaming another though so I can't speak to any of that.
I don't have any interest in talking past each other or attacking you or arguing semantics. I just figure there's room under the rainbow for all kinds, so I just try to ask questions and share my limited perspective when I don't fully understand something.
If you're good here, that's totally fine and I wish you all the best 🙂
Drag queen: “can also be anyone of any gender/sexuality dressing up as anything”
I feel like there’s an alignment chart to be made here.
Yeah if there's drag kings and drag queens, where's my drag three of diamonds
I'll bite. Where does the pantomime dame go?
deserving love and respect
... Im asking for specifications on motives and manifestations and distinctions
A pantomime dame is like an amateur hour temporary drag queen, done purely for performative fun and not for any of the usual reasons, but you knew that already.