this post was submitted on 31 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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top 45 comments
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[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

Way ahead of ya.

[–] king_comrade@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Muh cortisol

[–] NiHaDuncan@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago
[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago

Jokes on you!

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

I would love to destroy myself with stress tonight, but this fentanyl is just hitting the spot a little too well for me to stress.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 6 days ago

Lift with your back in a jerking, twisting motion.

[–] farmgineer@nord.pub 3 points 6 days ago

I was already most of the way there and it's 06:40. I am drinking coffee, though, which I suppose is mostly water.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 3 points 6 days ago

Start wearing purple

[–] strop@lemmy.ml 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The creepy barren massive lawn-like lawn adds so much

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The floor is made of lawn.

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 1 points 6 days ago

Oh no, the thing is to drink too much water.

[–] untorquer@quokk.au 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Fuck you i don't do what you tell me!

Oh... Oh that's nice...

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago
[–] dan1101@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (5 children)

If anyone knows anything about anything please let me know.

[–] rainbowbunny@slrpnk.net 13 points 6 days ago

I know of a game

[–] myotheraccount@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Triangles have three sides

[–] masta_chief@sh.itjust.works 10 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

you can tell by the way it is

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 points 6 days ago

Just like aspen trees

tri = three
angle = rail

this concludes our three week intensive course on triangles

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This is a bell

My area of expertise does not extend much beyond this, do you have any other questions on what is a bell or not?

[–] MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Might want to be careful with that...

everyone right here this is a good example. Mr Scotty Tay has a valuable statement here. that statement is also not a bell.

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 6 days ago

it was 2:27 pm when i posted this comment

I might know a few things but I'm not sure...

Water is made of hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Oh! I knew that!

Okay @dan1101, I know anything about anything.

[–] NeilNuggetstrong@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'd rather just rotate the cow 🐄

Dude osculate your bovine on your own time

[–] Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 2 points 5 days ago

Please don't waste my data when I can rotate it in my mind.

[–] Denvil@piefed.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Unironically tensing up and then relaxing helped

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 5 points 6 days ago

Is called progressive muscle relaxation

[–] Cosmonaut_Collin@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Sorry man, I'm deep in with the hydro homies. I won't be giving up my water.

[–] WolfmanEightySix@piefed.social 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Going for a cup now…second in half an hour. I had to have a camera up my tradesman’s yesterday …after 1am I spent most of the day on the toilet and I really didn’t drink enough water after the camera.

[–] Cosmonaut_Collin@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

You gotta Vaseline up every morning in case of a camera incident. Especially if you are at risk of being abducted and probed.

[–] Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 days ago

Drop the water and put your hands on your head! DROP IT!

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Just like the old gypsy woman said!

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Come into my office and tell me that to my face

This is stupid, it doesn't even mention buying guns.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Stop breathing manually.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

"You know what? Im going to do it just for a laugh. Wait. Thats just normal. Fuck."