this post was submitted on 29 May 2026
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top 26 comments
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[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 73 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

A barrel roll!

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

Just don't pee on the way up, or going back around is gonna be even messier than it ought to.

[–] Kraiden@piefed.social 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pfft. Learn to time travel n00b. Skill issue.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Multiverse travel. The timeline shows very different results ocurring but there's no z-axis to show us where they occur.

One day we'll figure out the mysteries of the stockmos...

[–] sunrisepirate@piefed.social 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Honestly this makes as much sense as what the market is actually doing.

"It's possible that we are in a completely fraudulent system."

[–] amda@feddit.nl 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

obvious pattern

You would have to be an fucking idiot not to buy here... the pattern is so ovious

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago

When time is being manipulated and it's not you doing it... a time traveller is profitting off the stock market. SELL!

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Instead of buying and selling futures you have to get into the pasts market.

[–] captain_solanum@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And don't say "turn your piss into gold" because it's sold out already.

[–] some_random_nick@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

You snooze, you lose. Better luck in the next economic crisis!

[–] First_Thunder@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You gotta invest in those countries that already have experience in upside down, like Australia

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

Instructions unclear, invested in Hawkins, Indiana.

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 9 points 1 month ago

If you see a ticker board like that, wake up. Or actually don't. Use it as a trigger to know you're dreaming and have a nice lucid dream.

[–] bl4ckp1xx13@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

This is what would display if someone vibe-coded a dashboard.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago

It's doing a loopity-loop, prepare accordingly

[–] nehal3m@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

Short yesterday

[–] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

Maybe a CRT monitor and a big magnet?

[–] chortle_tortle@mander.xyz 1 points 1 month ago

I'm a bit more of a risk adverse investor, but I buy both low and high, so I can diversify and normalize losses and gains as they re-converge.

[–] RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 month ago

Ride the time singularity to the past, then enjoy dinosaurs.

[–] Zkuld@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Once the market bends back in time and is behind us, we can all go outside again.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago

If you can reverse time like this, you'll have more interesting things to do than market manipulation

[–] mumblerfish@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Easy, if the market bifurcates in time, you simply exist in the time before the bifircation event (use time machine if necessary) then you buy the cheap one and sell it as expensive.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

You need a reverse mortgage to ride this out.