this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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[–] Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 1 points 8 minutes ago

CI Armand Gamache. Louise Penny books' main character. TV show Three Pines.

[–] lyrial@anarchist.nexus 1 points 2 hours ago

Barney Miller, but I don't think he's a detective.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Maxwell Smart.

His cars weren’t “classic” when the show was airing.

Being a dumbass isn’t neurospicy.

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Are we counting early Columbo's cigarettes as his addiction? Cuz otherwise I think he fits the bill

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (2 children)

I was gonna say Columbo but it clearly says neurotypical.l and does not drive a classic car.

The only one I can think of that has all 6 is Dr. Mark Sloan and that's only if you count him as a detective in the first place (he solves murders, but is a doctor).

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago

Classic McSteamy.

I think he's more or less neurotypical. His quirks seem largely to be an intentional act to throw off his suspects and make them underestimate him.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 6 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Both Barnabys in "Midsomer Murders".

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 15 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Columbo. Neurotypical is debatable, a lot of his behavior is an act to make the suspect less guarded. But he drives a shitty car, is happily married, and isn’t “too old for this shit.”

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (2 children)

Well ... that 1959 Peugeot 403 was 30+ year old by the 90s (and 40+ in 2003) ... so idk, but it def felt like a statement.

(Chars often have shitty old cars in the same sense as some have fancy "classic" old cars.)

And about his wife Captain Janeway who was 12 at the time she was mentioned as his wife:

Peter Falk expressed his disapproval of the spin-off, calling it a "bad idea" and "disgraceful". Richard Levinson later joked that if they made another episode of Columbo they would have Columbo say "There's a woman running around pretending to be my wife. She's changing things. She's a young girl. I wish my wife was like that. She's an impostor."

wiki/Mrs._Columbo

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 hours ago

JANEWAY WAS MRS COLOMBO?? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS??

Its ironic that she ended up in a federal prison.

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

But the show started in the 60s, and it’s the same car. You could argue his trenchcoat and hat (de rigeur when the show started) were more affectation in later years, or accept that at some point those simply occupy the role of signifiers that “yes this is Columbo.”

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah, I can see that too (but the car did strike me as a deliberate non-typical choice from the beginning, like part of a character, like the trench coat, even when just under a decade old - but that does indeed not make it a classic car).

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 1 points 3 hours ago

I definitely think it was a deliberate choice, but more in the vein of “look at this bumbling moron driving this piece of shit French car” as a way of further masking his actual abilities.

[–] unitedwithme@lemmy.today 41 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Brooklyn 99. Terry Crews is happily married, drives a minivan, is neurotypical.

[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 25 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

Terry in the show probably has some body dysmorphia/eating disorders. He's been shown to have difficulty controlling his food intake with the nibs, the weird dieting with Gina and Amy and he's also used the gym to avoid his problems. Plus he had some PTSD in the early seasons (I think from shooting an innocent person? I don't remember exactly why) which is why he wasn't in the field for the first few seasons. Also I think technically his rank is lieutenant so I'm not sure he's technically a detective

[–] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 12 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

He shot a mannequin because he kept getting nervous about getting killed in the line of duty after the twins were born.

And then he shot another mannequin.

[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 7 points 14 hours ago

Right, that's what it was. So possibly an anxiety disorder instead of PTSD. Which is probably more in line with the body dysmorphia or eating disorder than PTSD would be

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[–] CelloMike@lemmy.world 19 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Depends if "classic car" is era-dependent or not

Eg Peter Wimsey probably fits all of these, and drives a 1920s car, but in stories set in the 1920s so not classic at the time

[–] Rivermoonwolf@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

Having recently read more Dot Sayers than should legally be allowed (one day I shall recover), let me assure Lord Monocle is "not* neuro typical

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Lacey from 'Cagney and Lacey.'

Cagney was the unmarried alcoholic who drove a vintage 'Vette.

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago

I could see her doing a wee bump of ching in the ladies room while the cameras were off

[–] galoisghost@aussie.zone 9 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Jessica Fletcher could count if the you can be happily married when your spouse is already dead.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 9 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

She never dates again so it seems like she is still very much in love with her late husband.

[–] Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 1 points 9 minutes ago

Funny thing I figured out over the years: widows do not date after their spouse dies for 2 reasons: 1) they were, and still are, madly in love with their spouse, or 2) their spouse/marriage absolutely sucked and they will never ever do that again. The latter is more common.

[–] prex@aussie.zone 7 points 14 hours ago (6 children)

I suddenly want to watch a cop show where the main character is a genuinely bad cop. ie: the bad guys keep getting away and not a single case is solved.

[–] galoisghost@aussie.zone 13 points 14 hours ago

I believe that’s called the News.

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 1 points 8 hours ago

Watch Neon Joe Werewolf Hunter instead. He is detecting werewolves in the show.

[–] zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 13 hours ago

Inspector Gadget would fit if not for his overly capable niece and her anthropomorphic dog.

[–] KuroiKaze@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

The shield is arguably the greatest drama series of all time

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 2 points 12 hours ago

Just watched Detective Hole, would highly recommend. Very bad cop but good detective.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 11 points 16 hours ago
[–] JaymesRS@piefed.world 4 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Does Cædfel count if one can include “married to the church”?

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago

Oh I'd forgotten about him. What a truely bizzare show.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago (3 children)
[–] GhostMutt@lemmy.zip 10 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

I think it depends on the definitions of “classic car” and “addiction”, since he smokes cigars and drives a 1959 Peugeot.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

He quits smoking and it becomes a minor character arc for him as he needs to find something to do with his hands. He ends up asking for pencils a lot.

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[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 6 points 16 hours ago

In retrospect I'm not sure he's neurotypical.

And it was the 70's they didn't talk about his problematic meth addiction.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 4 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)
[–] TheFlopster@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago

Either Barnaby from Midsomer Murders would pass this test.

And I'd like to second the nomination for Jessica Fletcher. She was happily married, but widowed by the time the show starts.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

No real-life detective has more than four.

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 6 points 16 hours ago

They all fail at number 4

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