scientists says
This is not a serious publication.
this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2026
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I thought you were dead, but nice try, Kellogg
Good thing NASA isn't my mom.
The quote has been misattributed: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/masturbation-in-space-nasa-warning/
“Three female astronauts can be impregnated by the same man on the same session… it finds its way,” Smyth replied.
Not buying it at all... I'm not saying it's impossible but the odds must be astronomical (no pun intended) just for one pregnancy... not even in a million years. Life finds a way, I know, but come on!
No, it's true. Female astronauts usually float around up there with their twats out; spread wide open to air it out, and nearly every time a male astronaut blasts some rope, it floats straight to it obviously.
Am I Pragnent?
Preganté. You has it.
gregnant
I had to look it up. It's still flippin' hilarious but holy moly it's 9 years old!!!!
I am. pregannenant!?
Dangerops, prangent sex
How is babby formed?
Probably
Also lady bits work like a vaccum, just sucking up all the stray dirt and food crumbs as well. Its why women are so good at staying at home.and vaccuuming, its literally natural.
(/s)
Im out there shootin tardigrades
women floatin gonna get some babies made
that's why I knew this rap was gonna be great
I wacked off in space and now my commanders ...late...
Space invaders: genetic boogaloo
well the article is from the future so we have to take their word for it
This article was originally published on 23 July 20222
People venturing outside of our atmosphere are advised against pleasuring themselves in zero gravity.
The reason? Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.
Seems all they have to do is invent some kind of nutsack.
I propose funding for an aerospace cock sock that could keep everyone safe from stray nut.
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Is it just me or does this seem tremendously unlikely and easy to prevent?
These guys never heard of a "posh-wank?"
I never beat my meat at Oxford. What’s a posh-wank?
A wank whilst wearing a condom
With a condom is what I have heard. Expensive hence posh I guess!
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(4 replies)
The NASA ScRoTE. Self-contained Repository of Testicular Ejaculate.
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I think the bigger problem is the female astronauts slonking around the cabin crotch-first
Female astronaut: Here I go clam slammin in the cabin.
The female astronauts shouldn't have dressed that way /s
if you nut in space will it push you backwards
And since penises are usually not that close to the body's centre of mass it would also impart some rotation, unless the astrowanker has very good aim.
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(1 replies)
Gravity 2 starring William Dafoe
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Well guess you have a better excuse than “I tripped and fell in to her”
Great... Another job I'm not qualified for
It was odd that the question was at the top of the application form too!
That reads as "male astronauts should not mastrubate in space". So it's absolutely fine for a female astronaut to rub one out. It's not like she's going to be ejecting eggs all over the place. Think of THAT OnlyFans.
Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.
New fetish unlocked
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(2 replies)
Oh cum on, it's going to be really hard to handle that. Mind you, I'd be more concerned about the stray 'liquid' getting into machinery and shorting something, rather than accidentally impregnating three women at a time.
Fortunately we don't have to worry about this yet as "This article was originally published on 23 July 20222".
I'm not sure nofap is the only viable strategy. What about requiring vasectomy or unisex birth control?
Btw, porn in space is an unfapped market niche.
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We might soon have a drug that stops sperm production. That would be welcome news for space gooners.
A male birth control pill has been right around the corner for like 30 years. I wouldn't hold my breath.
We already have drugs that stop women from getting pregnant from direct nuts, let alone stray ones. I'm not saying that female astronauts should go on birth control to let the boys blast rope, but this cannot be the actual reason.
Well everything needs to be studied conclusively but wow.
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