RPGMemes

Or just tell them why your car isn’t working:

Get this: The Pope gave me syphilis

I was minding my own business and Boom! my nephew gave me syphilis.

I know you're going to hate me, but the kid from air Bud gave me syphilis

.... I do not like this game

This is going to sound crazy but the ghost of Hitler died in front of me.

Get this, a high school marching band stabbed me.

Et tu, tromboner?

Please forgive my absence, a professional cricket team stole my bicycle...

This is going to sound crazy but my high school marching band just shit the bed.

Please forgive my absence, my Tinder date found my box of human teeth.

I know youre going to hate me, but the ghost of hitler posted my nudes on instagram

This is going to sound like an excuse, but Dan Rather found my box of human teeth 😬

I feel terrible but a high school marching band stabbed me.

I feel terrible but the kid from Air Bud is having a nervous breakdown.

Get this: the kid from Airbud stabbed me

I regretfully cannot attend, the kid from Air Bud just shit the bed.

I feel terrible but a sad clown died in front of me.

Doesn't track. One less clown in the world, why feel terrible? (/s if it's not obvious).

I was minding my own business and boom! My Tinder date poured lemonade in my gas tank

Can't make it to the game. Henry Cavill showed up and slept with my wife. I can't decide if I'm offended or turned on.

I know youre going to hate me, but Dan Rather posted my nudes on instagram