No Simón Bolívar lol
this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
46 points (100.0% liked)
Slop.
820 readers
513 users here now
For posting all the anonymous reactionary bullshit that you can't post anywhere else.
Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.
Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.
Rule 3: No sectarianism.
Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome
Rule 5: No bigotry of any kind, including ironic bigotry.
Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.
Rule 7: Do not individually target federated instances' admins or moderators.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Shakespeare at #4 is wild.
Did they seriously not put Mao on there?
I mean I'm sure Joan of Arc was cool, but she didn't exactly lead the largest successful revolution in world fucking history.
List of "people I remember learning the names of in American high school history class"
haha, robert e lee, man famous mainly for losing. oh yes, he sure had a great effect.
the people who torpedoed reconstruction and created jim crow had a much greater effect, ffs.
Funny he is considered more influential than his counterpart and I don't mean any generals in the union. By counterpart, of course, I mean none other than the brother of Jesus Christ himself, Hong Xiquan, leader of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom.
You see, while we were having our quaint little civil war over here in the "new world" back in China they were having their own. Our boy Hong here claimed himself to be the younger brother of Christ and formed his own little Kingdom under the noses of the Qing dynasty. While we were suffering casualties in the mere 100s of thousands, they were dying by the millions. Wikipedia lists the total KILLED (not even wounded, mind you) as 20-30 million people and I've seen sources that estimate it as high as 50 million. Oh, and this rebellion lasted twice as long as the American Civil War and was happening as the American Civil War was also happening.
I've never met a fellow American who knew about this, either. We literally stroke ourselves off like we are the center of everything when something 30-50 times as wild is happening on the other side of the world.
Sure, but did any of those people have a Dodge Charger named after them in a TV show?
dammit, i was coming here to make some kinda joke about it.
Roscoe P. Coltrane would definitely rate the 4 wheeled general as highly influential on his car naps.
Trash list
Where's goku?
No Mao? I thought he killed a 100 billion people?
Yeah I've been told he was worse than Hitler, so he should be above Hitler on this list right?
~~Great~~White Man Theory
Mozart ahead of Genghis Khan 
That's nuts. What would the world even look like if Genghis Khan didn't exist?
Far less different than the world if Mozart never existed apparently.
What impact did Joan of Arc did in history? Beside the tragic story the only thing she did was helping crown a king that doesn't fucking matter
Great (Wo)man Theory states that she singlehandedly won the hundred years war by being inspirational
load more comments
(1 replies)
Deeply unserious list. Johannes Guteburg and Eli Whitney were more influential than everyone else on here combined. And they're only notable because we don't know the exact people who invented movable type in China/Korea or interchangeable parts in ancient Carthage.
Inventors had more impact on history than any politician or philosopher. Antibiotics, the internet, refrigeration, the scientific method, gunpowder, fermentation, and nuclear bombs...the list goes on of things that changed the world more than George Washington.
The zipper has more impact on the modern world than George Washington
There comes a point where who made the thing doesn't even matter. It's just that it was made. There's a reason so many inventions have multiple originators. They always come from what came before. No one person is uniquely amazing, there's just occasionally people with the correct drive, skill, and opportunity to connect the dots and come up with the thing.
Look up the number of inventors who died destitute trying to sell their invention that later went on to change the world. How many of them do we just not know about because Edison et al didn't find a way to exploit their work or know they existed?
...which is why this list is deeply unserious. The Great Man of History isn't real because history is driven by systems, people within those systems, and through advancement in how humans perform labor.
So when Eli Whitney rediscovered interchangeable parts (they were discovered much, much earlier by Carthage, then lost), it allowed for rapid industrialization. And Whitney was only one of a handful of people making the same discovery, but the first to present it to people with the power to implement it. Putting Woodrow Wilson in the same category, however, is complete nonsense.
Vulcanization is another good one. Exploitation of a natural resource in South America. It was kinda useless, then vulcanization was "discovered" when they literally could have just spoken to the tribes they enslaved to harvest rubber for 3 seconds and seen that they had been vulcanizing for a thousand years...
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(4 replies)
Napoleon being number 2 is 
a choice.
Edgar Allen Poe more influential than King David...
The source is just an opinion in of itself too.
Looks like Kissinger couldn't even make it into stormfront's great man theory list. Already forgotten lmao rip bozo 
King Arthur, a completely fictional person, #85.
15 
presidents on this list lol. Including Nixon and 
for some reason.
I cant even concieve of the type of shit someone must be getting up to to find themselves writing this list with Richard Nixon above René Descarte, John Locke, Joan of Arc, and King Fucking Arthur. Even putting Nixon above fellow US President, Truman, who authorized two nuclear attacks on another country, is beyond wild to me.
The amount of British monarchs is also weird. Why on Earth is Charles II on this list?
Elvis being ranked a bit higher than Lenin who himself is waaaay down from Stalin is pretty funny
Why is Charles Darwin not at the top? If he had not invented evolution we'd still be monkeys.
What are the units for historical impact?
Inverse melanin scale
It searches through wikipedia checking how much each page was accessed and then use algorithms to try to eliminate bias. The book's Wikipedia page explains it.
I thought it was an academic paper but it may just be a book with fun facts.
Bit idea: start a Wikipedia edit war on Charlie XCX's page to trick their algorithm into thinking Brat Summer was the most important event in human history.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Also I don't see Confucius on this list. Am I supposed to believe Grover Cleveland was more influential than Confucius?
-
Muhammad
-
Karl Marx
-
Whoever invented the stirrup
they're source is web metrics on English Wikipedia, incredible ragebait
I can't even properly articulate why, but the reddit watermark over Calvin and Locke on this horrible list is so incredibly funny to me
Does someone wanna educate me on the lasting historical impact of Elvis Presley?
Also, Jesus and Muhammad @ #1 and #3 but Siddhartha Gautama gets ranked below Cromwell, the guy whose revolution didn't stick? Rough. At least he beat out King David.
And Roosevelt, the guy who led America out of the Great Depression and through WWII gets symbolized with a wheelchair?
There's just so much to unpack here.
Of all the things to poke fun of, the Buddha being below Nietzsche might be the funniest to me.
King Arthur
Oh FFS
Can't believe neither Adam nor Eve made the list smdh
I have a Snorlax in Pokemon Go named Big Fuck that I caught 8 years ago, which is twice as long as the Confederate States of America even existed
load more comments
(2 replies)
Lenin in 75th place?
This slop is at best a popularity contest set in the current times.
Ah yes, my favorite number ~~9~~
Are the Beatles at 0 
view more: next ›