No body no crime
Elon
this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
108 points (98.2% liked)
Technology
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That's what futuristic hidden door handles get you. Nice and crispy.
Sounds like a great way to fake your death. The only problem is that everyone will think you died driving a Tesla.
Good point. Back to the drawing board.
No one's going to believe a drawing board disappeared a body.
Ehhh, you'd be surprised what the modern drawing board can do.
It... also costs ~~100k~~
Edit: sorry, sorry, 70k — much better
I mean if you're faking your death I don't think you're planning on paying off the loan
ouch oof my bones
Free cremation — it’s a service!
You could almost say it's like being put into an oven.
I mean you can just say that if you really want
It will be monetised soon enough
Popup on the screen:
Your Tesla is on fire, escape is no longer possible as your subscription to "Escape Hatch" has expired. In order to enable "FlameOn (tm) mode" for rapid immolation, please approve the one time payment of $4,206.90
Don't Teslas have the highest crash fatality stats on the road or something? Terrible company.
Cybertrucks are 17 times more likely to kill you in a fiery way than the Ford Pinto, the previous record holder.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2025/02/report-cybertruck-safety-ford-pinto/
I'm not in any way trying to downplay how bad the cyber-dumpster is, but is that an adequate sample size to extrapolate the fiery-death rate? The article says 17 times the rate of the Pinto, but it was only 5 total fires.
I mean they made millions of Pintos so yeah
Different person, but the Pinto controversy was overblown. Media hype made it an issue when it had similar incident rates with other vehicles at the time.
Ford Pinto - Wikipedia https://share.google/A9xMle5N02j1gPmCl
The biggest issue with the Pinto was not the Pinto itself, it was how Ford discussed the potential issues with it internally. It was their very well documented preference for money over protecting human life that caused the controversy.
We know this really happens all the time, at all companies and in all industries, but Ford was punished for saying the quiet part out loud (amongst themselves) and getting caught doing it. We are all supposed to at least put on a show of human lives being more important than money, and Ford failed to put on the show, and for that they were punished.
We still don't care about human life, but at least we all felt better about it afterwards.
huh, TIL. Thanks!
So it's just 17 times more likely to kill you than average cars.
Average car of the 1970s.
With 'murican healthcare prices the fatality rate is a feature.
But maybe they have the lowest crash rate?
So like, crashes cost money right? Someone is responsible. Someone has to pay.
But if everyone dies in an inferno, then nobody is responsible. Who can pay? They're all dead! What medical bills? What repairs? It's all a write off.
Sounds like a high mortality rate with low accident rate is an absolute profitable win!
Free market baby!
According to the article they have higher crash rates and fatalities because the drivers are worse. The cars themselves actually rate fairly high in safety standards.
That being said, I think the safety evaluations are flawed and don’t consider things like electronic locks.
Cant wait til they start taking volunteers for the Mars rocket
At this point if you’re still driving a swasticar, you deserve it.
Hey hey, just few years ago lefties were religiously buying teslas made by their prophet. What changed?
A literal dumpster fire.
Aww what a shame
🤷