Oh no here comes the manatee from the top rope with a steel chair! Oof! As god as my witness she is broken on half!
this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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Who was in the bikini?
Yes
Why was the manatee in a park and why was it wearing a bikini. Lastly, was it a licensed wrestling match or unsanctioned?
Well... Who won?
Is this on pay per view?
Listen, I get it, Manatees have no business wearing a bikini.
You take that back! Leave them damn sexy manatees alone.
You've been at sea too long, sailor.
Musk is responsible for this. Remember a few weeks ago when he made Grok put everyone in bikinis? Of course, Florida is now copying it IRL. And as usual, it's the poor bloody matinee ... mantit ... blobbly wobblies that suffer!
In the criminal justice system, harassment of marine mammals is considered a Florida-tier offense. In Miami-Dade, the detectives who investigate these bizarre aquatic crimes are members of an elite squad known as the Meth-Adjacent Intervention Unit. These are their stories.
Dun-dun.
You mean the Meth-Induced Abnormal Mannerism Investigators?
Smoke meth in the city where the heat is on
Fight manatees on the beach 'til the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami
Bienvenidos a Miami
I've never even seen a manatee in a bikini.
Because people like her keep wrestling them off.
Glad I’m not the only one with that thought.
mermaids and their songs are confusing
Sounds sexy
Is she single? Asking for a friend.
Her name is Barbara.
I swear to god if this is AI...
LEAVE IT ALONE! FIGHT ME INSTEAD!
Goes prone
I can fix her
I can't, but I totally would date her just to wrestle with her. As a bonus, I am as fat as a manatee.
I don't want to wrestle her but I'd like to get to know her and learn what makes her her. She sounds interesting.
There is nothing to fix. But maybe she could fix me.
choke me mommy
The other perpetrator:
She just wanted her bikini back after the manatee stole it.
In Florida, is an extremely serious crime to even touch a manatee.
I once saw a park ranger just screaming at a group of guys and threatening them with $5000 fines just for getting near one.
I told a friend of mine who surfs, and he didn't realize they were so protected. He said there's an old girl who comes to visit them when they surf, and she rolls over on her back so they can scritch her belly. I told him it was a $5000 fine, and he was bummed. He liked scritching his manatee friend.
Destroy their entire ecosystem is a ok though :(
Is that like a holdover Jim Crow thing?
Manatees are struggling with climate change along the florida coast line where waters in the summer have been measured to up to 100 degree F in the ocean. It has devastated manatee floral diet. And they are dying off from it.
Do not torment the gentle wildlife that you are killing off.
Florida Man(atee).
*golf clap*
Is that the new STD spreading out from Mar-a-lago?
What’s the crime?
Fighting an endangered animal? Swimming in probably boat lanes.
Come on guys.
I see you know your judo well!
I feel there's more to this story we're missing here. ..but damn, I'd wrestle her any day...
I just looked, it's fake. I still stand by my song.
Her hips don't lie! That's shakira! You guys arrested shakira while she was doing her wrestling routine!
You might have noticed she's not blonde.
Confirmed! You guys got shakira while she was having personal arguments with her favorite animal kingdom friend.
Just leave them alone. Its all about past manatee songs that never made it.
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