this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2026
346 points (99.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

36750 readers
2832 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] mech@feddit.org 12 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Isn't this just a Farmer's Fleshlight?

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago

No, cows are furrier and brown.

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I miss forbidden snacks in the first few months... Before people flooded it with pictures of buildings and scenery. God do I not miss reddit near the end...

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

Mine is turqouise, I wonder what flavor is that.

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

They shouldn't have made edible things look like grease

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 points 5 hours ago

Are you kidding me? These look like strawberry cum!

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 7 hours ago

I thought of those POM Wonderful bottles. Seriously!

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 14 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (3 children)

We feed our cat a little petroleum jelly to get his insides lubricated. This was prescribed by a vet after he was very constipated. That was an expensive vet visit

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 5 points 7 hours ago

The inventor of vaseline ate a spoonful every day. He promoted it as wonder goo, fit for everything and anything. NGL it is pretty great, on the outside. Well, and a fistful of inches deep as well but no farther.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 17 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

feed your cat lithium grease and watch them become a 9 volt battery.

1000002845

[–] dejpivo@lemmings.world 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

What makes this a "transistor" battery?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

it's not so much what it is, but what uses it.

late transistor radios required small high powered batteries. according to Wikipedia 22.5v batteries were popular in early transistor radios.

these 9 volt batteries were popular in powering these late transistor radios, the transistors specifically. hence the name.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

Does that work with humans this is not a medical question this is a personal experience question

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

Look man. If you're constipated, just get some burritos with extra beans!

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 9 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

To be clear this is not just straight petroleum jelly it's formulated for cats, but the tube says 98% petroleum jelly with maple flavor

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Like fuck I'll eat anything that's 2% maple am I a cat

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Interesting they went with a sweet flavour; I always figured since cats are obligate carnivores that sweet things wouldn't be very attractive to them.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (4 children)

My cats will drink flat soda or energy drinks if you leave them out. My dog hunts down chocolate knowing it will make her puke. Animals are weird.

I once had a friend in school who had a rabbit. He took the vegetables off his burger and threw it in the cage with a couple strips of bacon. The rabbit sat on the tomato, devoured the bacon and then nibbled the lettuce a little bit. I still wonder to this day how a rabbit even digests bacon, let alone gets an appetite for it.

[–] FeatherConstrictor@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

That rabbit was very lucky to have had such a strong stomach, rabbits in general are unable to digest foods high in protein and gastric upset in rabbits can be fatal. Its one of the scariest things as a rabbit owner.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah. I don't know how long it lived, at least a year since then, after that who knows. Rabbits aren't very long lived to begin with, and even less so when they sell them at the fair as tiny bunnies not neutered or spayed. Once you know how much work they are it seems kind of criminal.

Rabbits aren't very long lived to begin with

A domestic rabbit has an expected life span of about 8-12 years which I'd say is decently long

Not neutered or spayed

But yeah, that will shorten their life span for sure. Rabbits are a lot of work too and they're not for everyone! Most people don't really know or care about the work that's required to really take proper care of them.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

Well, the inventor of Vaseline thought so

Chesebrough lived to be 96 years old and was such a believer in Vaseline that he claimed to have eaten a spoonful of it every day

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

I read that discworld doesn't he explode and keep on going

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemmy.zip 6 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Petroleum jelly would work, but it's not intended for consumption. If you do want petroleum products intended for consumption that will do exactly the same thing, get some mineral oil

[–] unphazed@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

And go a tbsp every hour or so. I've seen so many videos of people drinking shots or larger of that stuff and stating they inhabited the bathroom all night.

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 7 hours ago

If you want jelly, just get some Jello or a jar of jelly. Seriously!

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 4 points 10 hours ago

I don't know about petroleum jelly, but I know you can drink mineral oil as a laxative, and that's basically the same stuff just runny.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 31 points 13 hours ago

Forbidden Cherry Icing

[–] pirc_lover@feddit.uk 25 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Hupf@feddit.org 15 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

The cylinder must not be damaged in any way.

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Oh don’t worry… I’ll be gentle.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 1 points 4 hours ago

I… need an adult?

[–] SupraMario@lemmy.world 11 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

Has no one ever smelled bearing grease? Even fresh it smells terrible.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I got a syringe of same looking red grease for installing a bicycle bottom bracket, (might have been for a fancy front fork?)
and it smelled vaguely sweet... like almost fructosey enough to make you imagine it was raspberry flavored.

[–] SupraMario@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Might have been some other compound, cause straight bearing grease for cars/trucks/heavy equipment/etc doesn't smell pleasant at all.

[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 hours ago

It's an acquired taste

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

I dunno if it's some kind of additive, but AFAIK it universally smells like stinky bugs, just weaker.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] j4yc33@piefed.social 31 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Literal shitpost will occur if you eat this grease.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 20 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

Only in America does this look edible.

[–] PoopDeckInspector@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 12 hours ago

Have you never made a cherry or cranberry jam/syrup. That's exactly what it looks like when you boil red fruit and sugar together

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] poweruser@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Suuuuper don't eat that. Heavy weight gear oil is the worst thing I've ever tasted and I had only a tiny amount of it

Maybe actual excrement tastes worse, but I wasn't curious enough to try tasting that

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 25 points 14 hours ago

Delicious strawberry flavored axle grease...

[–] Killer57@lemmy.ca 5 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

This is like saying that antifreeze shouldn't taste/smell sweet.

[–] siha@feddit.uk 5 points 6 hours ago

Are you saying we shouldn't put cotton candy inside our walls either?!

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›