Im gonna get bottom surgery soon (a couple months). After that is maybe FFS. Ive been doing voice training over the last couple months with a professional and Im pretty close to where I wanna be. Im pretty happy with what hormones have done and if they stop changing here I'll be pretty satisfied. All my documents are changed, all my legal stuff is changed.

Its weird to think that all the big check marks I wanted for transition will be "finished." The next thing and the next thing and the next thing have been like a north star for me for the last 5 years. Ive never thought of it as something that can be done rather than an ongoing process... and yet I suppose all that was finite and there would be a time where there's just not anymore milestones to pass and after this is just, life.

In honor of Thanksgiving, I'm not giving a fuck and going to hike up a mountain

I know I talk a lot about my struggling. It is just so constant and painful it is basically all that matters to me anymore. It feels like it has consumed me. And on top of that, I can't usually talk about it. Thank you all for still supporting me

Man I’m super struggling with my loneliness and the fact I haven’t had a friend in years, since about junior year in highschool.

I’m turning 21 in January and I feel like I’m so behind. My brother is only a year older than me and has so many friends he actually is close to, not just acquaintances, he’s planning a ski trip to Colorado with a group of friends and plays video games all the time with others and goes to parties and I struggle so much with comparing myself to him. He was talking about his plans and friends yesterday, and he just got a really really good job in realty, at just 22, when we went to my moms for thanksgiving and I think that’s what brought this feeling on. I have a hard time giving myself grace with the fact that being trans and having adhd and ocd has made my development hard because he’s also adhd and ftm, although Im stealth and he’s open.

My parents are also very extroverted and I’m just so sad I’m the only member of my family who is super shy and can’t even begin to understand how to approach talking to someone. I have brain fog all the time and can never think of funny or interesting replies in conversations unless I’m really familiar with them. With my family I’m funny (I know because they’ve always told me lol) and smart but with everyone else I’m so fucking boring. I’ve been working for a year and a half and hav even going to college since fall and I feel like I haven’t made a dent in my social skills. I always feel so aware and I hate it.

I’m just really struggling with this feeling of horrible loneliness, and it makes me so sad to see everyone else living how I want to live. I just don’t know how to start. I’m moving to Chicago late next year when I’ve finally saved 10k and I hope it helps to give me a reset, I feel so stagnant here.

I like me and I don’t want to fundamentally change myself, but I wish I could make friends and be more outgoing but that feels so not me. I love extroverts and want to have extroverted friends but I can’t imagine attracting those types because I’m so stoic and take a while to open up.

Idk. I just feel pathetic. I’m nearly 21 still working in food service, living with my parent, 0 friends, depressed, struggling with even turning assignments in on time, and it’s also hard being gay in a small Midwest town.

Sorry for the long ass rant

Bit idea: referring to my egg crack and subsequent coming out as my heteroectomy

Estrogen is insane tbh. My taste has changed severely. I am positively addicted to chilli. I can't stand a good number of the foods I used to eat because they aren't spicy enough.

And I also have developed a craving and hatred for sugar. I need sugar. I yearn for sugar. But if you put it in my food I hate it. I hate even the sweetness of vegetables now!

However, if the sugar is in the form of a dessert, I like it. How bizzare.

Every time I look at girls I'm like "waow, I want to have boobs"

Hey friends, been a long time since I last posted here 💜

I'm in need of some help, I have a friend who is looking to start HRT in the American south (Louisiana) but they're too afraid to start with DIY. Does anyone have any resources/direction on how things work down there? Thank you!

friends messaging you when they think youre asleep >>>>> almost anything else

what, next you gonna say you care about me? that you respect my needs and boundaries? that you will also put effort into the relationship and not just disappear if i dont message you??? hmph, thats what i thought. /silly

So how do you make new friends as a trans woman, when you don't already have an established friend group?

Probably getting kicked out.

I am not American but I work with a bunch of them so yesterday and today and tomorrow is just trying desperately to find something to do to look busy at work and it's exhausting

Up with trans

bit idea: telling everyone i'm detransitioning into an HRT femboy and then changing literally nothing about myself

every time i look in the mirror i see a woman

which is nice because that's what I wanted out of HRT but also very strange because i've spent the vast majority of my life not looking like a woman and that's unusual to see that's changed

reminder puberty blockers are a shitty compromise

hrt for all!! :3

I was such a cute kid. If I had known... But I didn't and I grew up to be the way I am

me drinking out of the shittiest paper straw on the planet while billionaires pump billions of tons of co2 into the atmosphere and create plastic products designed to fail

"ah yes, this will definitely save the environment"

Apparently while I survived black Friday a customer got so upset they went around stealing a valve stem cover from every workers' car, including mine, this led to many people coming in today to depend on relatives or uber since there was a major winter storm last night.

Built this tonight, took about 2 hours with breaks. ~~Honestly don't remember what this kind of ship is~~. Doesn't give the piece count, steps are crammed together as close as possible for fewer pages and the art is the shittiest, lowest quality jpg they could find but it still had printed pieces! No stickers! Honestly fucking hate stickers, they never seem to go on perfect.

Currently freaking the fuck out

I felt at peace today! The voices in my head were silent. How wonderful.

Yesterday, I told my friend that I had fully given up on my goal of living a fulfilling college life. He seemed taken aback. He was expecting me to make my typical excuses of living far away.

Maybe I feel better now because of it? Why drag yourself down with unrealistic expectations?

trying to wipe yesterday from my mind by getting all sweaty putting furniture together alone and repeatedly telling myself this is a very lesbian activity, overwhelmingly lesbian even