this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2025
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And what language and region is it?

I've noticed my language teacher uses the informal you in one language and the formal one in the other.

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[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 2 points 36 minutes ago

Slovenian uses the formal one for adults you are not personally connected to. So like strangers or people in positions that demand somw respect. Definitely used for people like teachers, professors, your SO's parents...

There is also a half formal way of addressing people that I kinda hate and is also completely grammatically incorrect and I don't really know how to explain the way it works. It can only be used in past and future tense (because the present does not have a modifier for the verb). So the first part of the verb is taken from the formal (plural) form of the verb and the second part is taken from the informal (singular) form.

[–] fodor@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 hour ago

Japanese has many ways to say "you". It's weird because indirectness can be more polite, so a formal way of saying "you" in context in a sentence might not include any words that would translate to "you" in the dictionary. And the subject is optional, just to make things extra fun.

The other question, about casual ways to say "you", is easier to answer... It depends on the dialect and where you're from in Japan.

[–] Pika@rekabu.ru 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Russian here.

I use the formal "You" when talking to adults I don't know well and in official conversations. Also, with superiors.

I use the informal "you" with friends and family, and with colleagues I know well. Informal "you" also communicates warmth, safety, a call to action, or authority, which is why it may be used when addressing children (particularly preteens), people in danger, or someone else you need to either influence or make feel safe, or both.

Of course there are millions of exceptions, and everyone keeps it slightly different. For this reason, it is common for people to have hard time figuring whether to address certain people by formal or informal "you". Mistakenly using the formal option can be read as creating more distance, the informal - as invading the personal space. It's an issue in spoken conversations, too, as these forms are actually two different words that are audibly different.

[–] vin@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 hours ago

For Hindi speakers, it varies from region to region. For some everyone except close friends get the honorific 'you', for some you've got to be minimum two generations older.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

In a weird twist, despite speaking Spanish, my particular dialect doesn't have a formal you. We use usted for everyone. I joke that "usted es un malcriado puta de mierda" is a perfectly valid sentence

I also know French and that one does have a formal you, but it also doubles as the plural you so it's a bit more common. It also has two different forms of we

[–] hraegsvelmir@ani.social 4 points 6 hours ago

For Spanish, I pretty much only use it with customers at work, and nice, elderly people. I guess I would use it if I were in a court for something in Spanish, but otherwise, I don't really use it at all.

[–] dil@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago
[–] miked@piefed.social 7 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Tagalog. I lived with my ex-wife and her family for years. The more people in the house, the happier Mom was. They all spoke Tagalog. One day I heard my brother-in-law speaking to someone on the phone and it sounded much different. I asked him why and the call and he said he was speaking formally.

Hopefully someone can explain better.

[–] lemondou@piefed.social 4 points 9 hours ago

In Filipino/Tagalog, you = "ikaw" (or "ka", depending on the way the sentence is structured) which is okay to use for peers or younger people. For older people or people of higher positions, we address them with the "plural you" = "kayo". We also add "po" when speaking politely/respectfully.

For example:

"Nasaan ka?" = "Where are you?"

"Nasaan po kayo?" = "Where are you?" (respectfully)

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

Listening to my wife speak Tagalog to family and friends gets me. Spanish! Out of nowhere!

[–] hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world 42 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

I just learned the other day that in English "you" is the old formal.

Here in Pennsylvania, we know that Quakers used thee and thou far longer than anyone else. Turns out, that was a protest movement. You and yours were used for nobility and royalty, the piece I was reading said the "royal we" is a leftover from this setup.

As a protest against classism and politics, Quakers refused to use you and yours at all and used thee and thou for everyone regardless of status. Instead, common usage English went the other way and adopted you and yours for everyone.

My mother met old Quaker ladies in the 1950s who still used thee and thou in common conversation.

[–] starlinguk@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

I saw that video too recently. Was it one of Rob's? English dude, lives in Berlin?

[–] DomeGuy@lemmy.world 22 points 22 hours ago (4 children)

Fun consequence of this: the ten commandments should be translated into WAY less formal English if want to be traditional.

"No murders y'all" weirdly doesn't have the same punch when engraved on a stone tablet, though. (And most Americans can't read ancient Hebrew.)

[–] fprawn@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

The ten commandments are future imperatives, but English doesn’t have that mood and instead archaic language is used in place of it.

They are as strong a command as can be given, but a literal translation would just be “you will not”. That lacks the weight of the original form so translators try to make it read more seriously than the language allows with “thou shalt not”.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Except "thou" in "thou shalt not kill" is the singular pronoun, while "you" would be the plural...

I have no idea what number was implied in the original Hebrew.

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[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 8 points 22 hours ago

I recently (re?)learned that "you" was the plural form and only became a formal form under the influence of French.

Basically, "you" was "ye"/"y'all"/"youse"/"yins" before any of those existed, and the others only came into existence when "you" became formal and stopped filling that niche.

And some dialects, including some very populous ones like standard British English, still don't have a plural "you" as a result of that change of usage. The subsequent shift to being generic only cemented the problem.

"You" regains its plurality in things like "all of you", "you all", "you lot" (not really for the politest of company) and "you " (e.g. "You four, go sit over there") for a group of people, but on its own it's ambiguous.

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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 9 points 19 hours ago

I've literally never heard "您" in my entire life, except for like Chinese TV Drama or in a Chinese-Language class where the word is being taught.

That said, I'm not ever near politicians or bussiness people, just another "filthy peasant".

Used in Mandarin speaking places. You is "你" ni 3rd tone, You (Formal) is "您" nin 2nd tone(?), the 您 character even has the 心 part to show how much "heart" you meant when you use that pronoun lol, its literlly 你 (you) + 心 (heart).

I don't think Cantonese even has a formal "you", everything is so colloquial and informal.

[–] kurcatovium@piefed.social 4 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Czech (and Slovak, mostly also Polish) use formal/informal you similar to German or French. (At least from my limited understanding of those.)

Formal: High schools, universities, work environment, courts, etc. You also use it when you're speaking with older people or when you want to show respect to person you're talking to.

Informal: Everywhere else. It is also used when you want to indirectly insult person where formal should be used.

Life hack: You can use informal absolutely everywhere when you're old (even when it'd be very disrespectful otherwise) and nobody gives a shit.

[–] Get_Off_My_WLAN@fedia.io 15 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

I live in Japan, and of course there are formal ways to say everything, but in formal and polite situations, people actually try to avoid saying 'you' (anata, 貴方) as much as possible. Because even that can feel too personal. I only see it in writing that addresses the reader indirectly, like in surveys.

If you do address or refer to them, you typically use their title/position (e.g., 'sensei' for doctors and teachers, 'Mr. President'), or name and appropriate honorific (e.g., Tanaka-san).

P.S., a lot of what might've been archaically formal and polite ways to say 'you' have become ironically rude and/or condescending. Like, 'KISAMA!' (貴様), kimi (君) (sovereign/lord), onushi (お主) (lord).

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 1 points 3 hours ago

a lot of what might've been archaically formal and polite ways to say 'you' have become ironically rude and/or condescending.

You can do something similar in English through sarcastic statements with inappropriately polite forms of address. e.g. saying "Well, excuse me, sire!" to someone with a sassy tone of voice should be interpreted as "I'm offended" or "I can't believe you just did that, you asshole" or similar depending on context.

[–] butterycroissant@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Yes this! With my family and friends I don't think I've ever used anata. It feels almost as confrontational to me as the actual formal ways

[–] MrMobius@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 day ago (7 children)

In French/France I use the formal vous when talking to strangers or customers. Here people generally switch pretty quickly to the informal tu when they get to know each other (at my first day at work with my colleagues and boss). But I'm quite an oddball since I use the formal address even for kids, which no one does. Also my neighbor was a bit annoyed at me for continuing to say vous to her after having met her one month ago. It can make people feel old.

[–] snf@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

Living in Quebec this is my own private little social anxiety nightmare when meeting new people. You want to talk about pronouns? This is the real pronouns issue. Do I go with tu and seem overly familiar? Do I go with vous and seem standoffish? Does it depend on age? Degrees of separation? Station in life? Nnnnnnnnnngggggghhhh

Vousvouy-ing kids makes me feel whimsical, like Mary Poppins, so of course I do it too at times. 😅

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[–] AbsolutePain@lemmy.world 8 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

In Mexican Spanish, you would default to formal 'you' in most public interactions (although not all people do this). You would also use formal language when talking to a teacher or an authority.

  • Formal 'you' (singular): usted
  • Formal and informal 'you' (plural): ustedes
  • Informal 'you' (singular): tú

Note that the informal and formal 'you' in plural are the same.

Fun fact: formal language in Spanish is more than just formal 'you'.

E.g., if you're working at a fancy shop and wanted to ask a customer "how may I help you?", you would say "¿en qué le puedo ayudar?" (formal) instead of "¿en qué te puedo ayudar?" (informal). This question does not have 'you' in Spanish.

[–] calcopiritus@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

Formal and informal is not the same in plural.

"Ustedes" is formal, "vosotros" is informal. Although Mexicans (and many other south Americans) don't use the informal version, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

Some countries also say "vos" for singular. I don't know if that replaces "tú" or "usted" though.

[–] LeapSecond@lemmy.zip 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Isn't te/le technically a conjugation of you though? You also have to conjugate the verb but at least the difference is just an 's' that you can aspirate enough that it's not clear if you're going for tu or usted.

[–] AbsolutePain@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Perhaps you are right. Unfortunately I've forgotten lots of the linguistics of Spanish :(

Any adults I don't know, older adults in my family including my friends' parents (many don't, I'm just a bit old fashioned, lol) and employees at work? Goes for both French and Spanish. 👍

[–] manxu@piefed.social 13 points 1 day ago

I speak Italian, German, and French. The rules for when to use the formal address are complex, differ from language to language, and are changing every day.

The formal address is largely deferential. You invoke it both to imply status and emotional/social distance. That's the common thread I noticed in these three languages. Italians being more informal, you end up using the informal address with a lot more people; German society is more formal and you keep your distance even from people (like coworkers) that you have known for a long time.

But I would say that in all three of these languages, formality is becoming more and more infrequent. I think this is illustrated very well by the way media and web sites address users and visitors, which is going quickly from the formal form to the informal.

There seems to be also an influence from English, which has no formal address. I notice that in dubbed media, like movies and TV shows, that frequently don't really know what to do with the different forms available in the context of source material that doesn't have it. Sometimes it's amusing, like the scene where Captain America (I think) used the informal address to his superiors, which would have been absolutely insulting for a military officer, akin to calling them "bro" in English.

[–] ada@piefed.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Traditional spanish has a formal you (usted/ustedes), however Argentinian Spanish, which is the version that I'm most familiar with mostly uses vos instead of usted and tu, and doesn't typically differentiate between formal and informal

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[–] Twoafros@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

In Amharic, spoken in Ethiopia, you use the the formal you in formal settings (mostly work or legal related matters) or when speaking to an elderly person. The informal you has variations for women and men but the formal you is gender neutral.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 5 points 21 hours ago

I speak Spanish, and use the formal pronoun when in any formal situation, eg. addressing a stranger.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I could answer my own question, actually!

For reference, I'm in western austria, speaking German. The class I'm taking is A2 French.

My region is pretty different from most of the German speaking 'world'. We use the formal you much less. The informal one is more or less th default, except:

You're in secondary school. The teachers will use the informal one for students and the students have to use the formal one for most teachers. In high school, students can technically request that teachers use the formal you for them, but nobody does. I teach night school, and nobody used the formal you. Most of my students are very roughly around my age.

You're seeing a doctor you don't repeatedly go to, e.g. at the hospital. We use informal you for the specialists and GPs we see regularly, unless they're ~60+.

You're a bachelor's student. Formal you for both students and professors. Unless the teacher is a masters or PhD student, then informal you both ways. Masters and PhD students tend to use informal you with professors and vice versa, but some professors will be the exception and there will be formal you both ways.

Court. Formal you, except between a lawyer and their client.

Some stuffy, old fashioned workplaces use formal you, but only between boss and employees, very very rarely between employees. If it's some higher level management person you don't usually work with, it's more likely you'll use formal you both ways.

Super specific, but 80+ year old people who've never lived outside a city will want kids to use formal you for them, but they'll use the informal one for the kids.

German tourists. We're aware that informal you is more common in Germany, and try to me courteous. Except those of us who hate tourists, lol.

That's all the exceptions I can think of! For everyone else, including strangers (e.g. when asking for directions, cashiers, waiters, etc.) we use the informal one!

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[–] iii@mander.xyz 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (5 children)

Dutch is now my main language. I rarely, almost never, use the formal "U" or "Uw". It's an archaic thing.

I notice it's still in use in government communication. I also notice it in (older) literature.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago

I choose to believe UwU is extra formal

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[–] Foreigner@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In Portuguese we use the formal "você" in a similar way to the French "vous"- for people you just met, people who are older, customers, etc. In some families (usually very traditional or conservative families) children will address parents and other elders by "você". Then there's another level where you address someone by their name or their title, usually reserved for people of a "higher rank" or a very formal setting, like "O senhor/a senhora conhece o Lemmy?", or "O João gosta de memes?"

[–] hraegsvelmir@ani.social 1 points 6 hours ago

I would think this needs the regional classification. There are big chunks of Brazil where tu may as well not exist as a pronoun. I also wouldn't necessarily say that addressing someone by their name would be universally taken as a sign of respect. Plenty of people will just use names like that in informal speech, like "Você não vai acreditar o que falou o João ontem."

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