this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 66 points 3 days ago (6 children)

This is pretty funny, but you can clearly see where the dildo rack has been photoshopped in.

[–] bricklove@midwest.social 28 points 2 days ago

There's no way this guy could afford that many high quality dildos

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

The guy also doesn't have the muscle mass to operate a dildo.

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[–] HappyFrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I want to believe this is fake, but I know people like this exist...

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I love the meme butt there is a white line around the top shelf dildo that implies a photo edit.

[–] lechekaflan@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Loser with a loser flag.

[–] Godort@lemmy.ca 53 points 3 days ago (1 children)

There are at least 4 Bad Dragon toys on that shelf. I'd defend them too. Those fuckers are expensive

[–] Mirshe@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (5 children)

I was about to say, just from the few BD toys I can identify, that's an easy $4-600 depending on size.

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[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 40 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

That there is a 5th generation dildo farmer. His pappy's pappy's pappy's pappy's pappy started farming dildos after the civil war. Because he couldn't have slave labour, he had to farm those dildos himself.

It's hard work dildo farming, having to squat and anally pickup each dildo before the invention of the combine harvester. His family prospered thanks to a strong work ethic and an unrelenting desire to shove dildos up his ass.

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's not much, it's dog honest work?

[–] ruplicant@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

pero = but

perro = dog

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago
[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Ahh that's why he's still supporting Trump. He likes getting fucked in the ass., but doesn't want to be called "gay". Poor little snowflake.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 34 points 3 days ago (11 children)

His arms are incredibly uneven, I can tell you with near-prophetic clarity which hand this man jorks it with. What an embarrassing revelation for this dildo enthusiast

[–] einlander@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago
[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

"you jerk with your left hand" wow, such embarassing. What will the neighbors think??

Honestly I'd need to see them in the same position anyway. Angles can be wildly deceiving for arms.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago

I know, right? I’ve messaged his boss on LinkedIn to tell him and we’ve bonded over the whole mortifying ordeal. I’m pretty sure his boss jerks it with his right. Soon I’ll have reached the top of his organization, and then the world. Society’s thirst for masturbation gossip is nearly unquenchable, but my reservoir runneth over

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago

Based on that neck, I'd say his masturbatory habits are predominantly oral.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 32 points 3 days ago

The South Rides Dick Again!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Everyone needs a hobby.

Skinny arms, skinny torso... neck thicker than his head. By anatomical proportionality, he might be the most redneck to ever exist.

[–] Jaysyn@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Those are the arms of a malnourished meth addict.

[–] And009@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 days ago

So a regular meth addict

[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The "Superior" Race here folks. Peak humanity.

(/s if not obvious)

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What you don’t think he’s peak?

That there is a five-star man.

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

When he peaks, all of Philadelphia is going to feel it.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Even though the dildos are photoshopped this captures a greater truth: its just a different type of gooning.

[–] Acidbath@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

something something the dildos IS the southern agression :^]

[–] Zier@fedia.io 4 points 3 days ago

If that's the selection of dildos in the South, we need to wall those people off. We have superior toys in the North. No wonder southerners are so unhappy all the time with their inferior dildos.

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