We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
Posts must be:
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
Weird...
According to the Bible no man, no angel, not even Jesus Christ himself knows when the rapture will be...
Huge fan of whoever convinced them to blame it on trump not releasing the Epstein files tho.
There’s no such mention of the rapture at all in the Bible. It was invented in the 19th century.
It was invented to distract us from the Trump/Epstein files
"Clearly, when he wrote with his own hand that no man would know the day or the hour, the Lord wasn't counting on a genius like me coming along."
Joking aside, how do whole congregations avoid seeing the narcissism on some of these motherfuckers?
You know what? Sure. As long as they have a reason to release the files I'm down to support it.
What if the rapture did happen but none of them were worthy?
Or what if the rapture happened and the only creature deemed to fit the criteria was a single highly surprised but very chill about it capybara?
Specifically this dude:
Oh, please no. I so desperately want humanity (and the planet) to be rid of these people.
Hang on lads, I've got an idea.
The all new Rapture Drink, now Kool-Aid flavored!
Christians are almost always been selective about what parts of the bible they believe (or even bother to read) and this is an easy example. The bible makes very clear that the date the world ends will be known to none but god. There won't be a warning from angels and humans won't be able to figure out in advance. There could be signs it's coming that people pick up on but someone saying "it'll be this day on this month" will always be a lie. That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
it's all carnies and rubes.
List of dates predicted for apocalyptic events
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, then the people who anticipated this latest failed prediction are absolutely, frothing at the mouth, street corner screaming certifiable.
But then I think we all already knew that.
"With God all things are possible... Except the Epstein files, even God can't help you there."
I just realized...GOD is in the Epstein Files. Oh, it all makes so much sense now!
I mean Jesus could release the files himself hes all powerful no?
He's about to release the... Look squirrel!
American Christians. Never heard anyone else use the term rapture.
The article mentions the preacher who started this rapture excitement is from South Africa
Imagine you wake up in the morning and realize all the annoying Christian fundies have been raptured away and the world is all unicorn farts and rainbow cotton candy for a while...
Somewhere, one single person was raptured and wondering where everyone else is. No one else noticed their absence. But the rapture did happen.
“Just me? Really?”
small gods was right all along
It’s 2025 and the Daily Star is now considered one of the more relevant and trustworthy news sources. And not because they’ve improved themselves.
Every time the rapture doesn't happen they seem more convinced that it will happen in the future.
I really should get into the property market around the time the next rapture announcement comes out because surely they'll be selling all their houses off right. If you timed it right you could go on a really expensive holiday and save money by not paying for a return flight.
Faith is such an interesting concept. Believers can make up interesting statements like this, but if this statement is true, then so is the following: God was okay with Epstein's activities, otherwise God would've intervened. Right?
After the rapture failed to happen on Tuesday
be the change you want to see in the world
not even god knows what's in the files? this does go deep!
What if they gave a rapture and nobody left?
What if the rapture happened and the only thing that dissapeared were the Epstein files?
Wait people were taking the rapture seriously
My aunt is basically a crazy evangelical, and yes, she thinks we are living in the end times, and wants to usher in the end times faster so she can get to heaven. Its batshit insane.
Sure, okay, whatever, just release the Epstein Files. I'm not religious, like at all, but if that's what it takes, I'm fine with it.
Well I went to heaven, just as predicted. Let me tell you: it is GREAT up here. And free WiFi too, as you can see.
Yeah I get it, it's like when the forecast called for heavy snowfall overnight, and you're like "fuck yeah snow day tomorrow!" but then it's barely a dusting and you're watching for your school to come up on the news crawl, and like all the other towns schools are closing, but yours is still open, and then you realize the bus is coming in like ten minutes, and your snow day dreams are shattered and you gotta sit in English and Algebra instead of making a snow fort... yeah that sucks, man. Life is unfair
Death cult makes up another excuse for their god not existing.
"We know it's fiction, but we hate you for not believing our bullshit!"
Fuck religion, and the religious. Even you 'good' religious assholes. Fuck you specifically for supporting evil religions.
Without religion, we'd be talking about Epstein right now. REligions come along with the complete lies and just fuck everything up. Every fucking time.
You guys, we have the best opportunity. Next time they hold a Rapture, we all just go completely cold turkey silent for like, three days. Let them all think they've been left behind. Then we all come back to social media and the rest of the real world on the third day like, "whoa, that was so cool, what was your favourite part of it?"
It is so utterly insane that so many humans that I share this planet with are basically in a doomsday cult, and what really gets me is that you're considered an asshole or an extremist if you ever say something like "I hate the doomsday cult and the people in the doomsday cult are stupid". You get called intolerant etc etc. You're damn right I'm intolerant of a bunch of morons who have literally no incentive to care about the long-term well being of our planet and species. Just because the doomsday cultists happen to share the same name for their beliefs as people who are substantially less insane than them does not mean that they get a pass on being insane or that they get to be entitled to the same degree of respect that their less insane counterparts are entitled to.
I'm tempted to say well, at least they also want the Epstein files to be released. But the people with this type of mentality are just going to sit around waiting for some literal miracle to take place to release the files, because they believe in miracles and that's not an irrational plan of action as far as they're concerned.
The files need to be released already. That's one thing I can agree with the cultists with
The funny thing is the rapture actually happened. They didn't get plucked. Maybe they should figure out why and be better people.
