Chapotraphouse

I dress up as Stalin for Halloween.

I go to the various houses (petite bourgeoisie kulak liberals) and knock on their door.

I make my demand simple. "Trick or treat, lib."

They say they'll give me candy, but only a bagful

This is where it gets interesting.

I pull out a comically large burlap sack (each thread was handwoven by a random seamstress in Dudinka) and take all of the candy.

I then denounce them for their reactionary offerings (licorice is rooted in Anglo-Saxon imperialism, don't @ me) and then give them a single slap across the face.

They then cry.

I am directly responsible for multiple anti-communist laws in my area.

I mean, good luck stopping me from dressing up as Charlie Merked

Gonna make a big papier mache head with a tiny face with X's for eyes

TBF I don’t think American conservatives go out for trick or treating haha it’s unironically too scary for them. Near us at least they have “trunk or treat” in the local megachurch parking lot - apparently that’s what passes as a “third space” for them lmao. So pathetic.

That's okay, I'm going as a panda bear. I can make commie bear jokes to myself, while everyone else just sees a hug shaped ball of fluff.

I would go as Lenin, since I have done that for Halloween before, and I usually do it on the anniversary of the October Revolution as well, but I want to be cautious this year, and no one I know ever recognizes that costume anyway, so...