Chapotraphouse

I dress up as Stalin for Halloween.

I go to the various houses (petite bourgeoisie kulak liberals) and knock on their door.

I make my demand simple. "Trick or treat, lib."

They say they'll give me candy, but only a bagful

This is where it gets interesting.

I pull out a comically large burlap sack (each thread was handwoven by a random seamstress in Dudinka) and take all of the candy.

I then denounce them for their reactionary offerings (licorice is rooted in Anglo-Saxon imperialism, don't @ me) and then give them a single slap across the face.

They then cry.

I am directly responsible for multiple anti-communist laws in my area.