this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2025
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Main, home of the dope ass bear.

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If you got photoshop skills take peoples avatars and plonk them into where you think they'll fit in. And if they don't have an avatar type their name in.

Also admins are recused from being included xicko so don't even think of including any of us unless you want to get swirlied

Throw your submissions into the comments!

Edit: if you're not an artesian photoshopper and/or feeling exceptionally lazy (both me for real for real) and can't be bothered to do all that work I'm willing to accept text versions.

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[–] Moss@hexbear.net 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

TheLastAxolotl for general secretary, 72trillion for Minister of Education

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I promise to rule with an Iron fist stalin-pipe

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 28 points 1 week ago

@Tervell@hexbear.net for the minister of the red army, outfit our troops with the finest rifles.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I vote we use the smuglord emojj as Tina's avatar as a sick own

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[–] daniyeg@hexbear.net 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

there's no minister of beanis this is some bullshit

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That's the minister of coal

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[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

Minister of Beanis should be a fight to the death between @KuroXppi@hexbear.net @Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net and @Infamousblt@hexbear.net (for my amusement)

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[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Minister of Culture is definitely Dirt Owl

[–] context@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

also minister of oil and gas because of how much they're always farting

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago

I'm not that farty owl-pissed

[–] Scarry@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Where is/what happened to Dirt Owl?

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago

Dirt_Owl disappeared around the same a new user called Dort_Owl joined Hexbear.

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I got dorted up

Real answer:

spoilerLots of reasons, a little opsec, a little preparing for next year when I have less time to be here, a little spring cleaning so I don't have 5 years of comments to be doxxed by. I only ask that no one be weird about it. I'm still here.

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They're around. I saw em post sometime last week. Its rare not to see them post at least once a day, but I haven't been lurking hard the last week so

[–] TheLastHero@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Rule 1: seize the internal ministry

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Edie@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You go straight to gulag. Your name is now Ignatii Yeltsin

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[–] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

BMF for Minister of Education

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[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

@MarmiteLover123@hexbear.net for Minister of the Red Army for their unmatched knowledge of missile systems

@VILenin@hexbear.net for Minister of Aviation because of his experience in the field

[–] Edie@hexbear.net 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Erika3sis for Minister of the Nationalities

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

I support erika's nomination catgirl-salute

Ouais, she knows about even the more obscure parts of Asia (Central and Caucasus Asia)

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

yeah let's just post our organizational chart out in the public for all to see 🙄 what's opsec??

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[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Carcosa for minister of internal affairs (hexbear's nkvd).

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

raiden-source we have our first swirlie victim right here folks

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[–] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 1 week ago (9 children)

I figured there'd be more interest in Minister of Railways.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I know right? I figured there'd be people chomping at the bit to be the train lord

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[–] Ithorian@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Eco@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Edie@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (38 children)

Current submissions (as I feel like)

(These aren't final, if you make a good submission I might move things around)

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[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I just hope we all have fun heart-sickle

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dprk-soldier for Communications

[–] Finger@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago
[–] gayspacemarxist@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

I'm just a proud citizen of the people's website

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

To avoid being ruled by too old people I say we headhunt Lemmygrad for their most incomprehensible teens and give them important positions.

[–] into_highest_invite@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

i'm an anarcho-bidenist please make me general secretary

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[–] corvidenjoyer@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

Also admins are recused from being included so don't even think of including any of us unless you want to get swirlied

Hexbear Deepstate confirmed!? frothingfash

[–] deforestgump@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

Why would I do the CIA's work for them?

[–] Finger@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (11 children)

@tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net

I feel like they know army stuff for minister of red army

@FunkyStuff@hexbear.net

Taught me satisfactory so they'd do heavy industry

@RION@hexbear.net

glorp 📡 )))

Minister of communications

@WhyEssEff@hexbear.net

Minister of culture for the emojis

@Dort_Owl@hexbear.net

For aviation since they can fly

@RedWizard@hexbear.net

The comrade in charge of the parenting chat could do education

Whoever was giving updates for the URL snafu should be internal affairs

@thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net

Is very active on keeping us up to date with the fediverse so they should be minister of foreign affairs

I don't know enough about what general secretaries and the like do to nominate Carcosa or Alaskaball for anything that's worth a smirk or a chuckle unfortunately

@corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net

There must be some humor here but I can't find it

Whoever does the Sunday Night Kino/Hextube watch parties should be radio and TV

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[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Xhs for ~~finance~~ foreign trade because they know about mmt and stuff

(Not sure which is better suited)

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