this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2025
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[โ€“] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (5 children)

@tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net

I feel like they know army stuff for minister of red army

@FunkyStuff@hexbear.net

Taught me satisfactory so they'd do heavy industry

@RION@hexbear.net

glorp ๐Ÿ“ก )))

Minister of communications

@WhyEssEff@hexbear.net

Minister of culture for the emojis

@Dort_Owl@hexbear.net

For aviation since they can fly

@RedWizard@hexbear.net

The comrade in charge of the parenting chat could do education

Whoever was giving updates for the URL snafu should be internal affairs

@thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net

Is very active on keeping us up to date with the fediverse so they should be minister of foreign affairs

I don't know enough about what general secretaries and the like do to nominate Carcosa or Alaskaball for anything that's worth a smirk or a chuckle unfortunately

@corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net

There must be some humor here but I can't find it

Whoever does the Sunday Night Kino/Hextube watch parties should be radio and TV

@tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net

I feel like they know army stuff for minister of red army

@Tervell@hexbear.net

Whoever does the Sunday Night Kino/Hextube watch parties should be radio and TV

@wombat@hexbear.net or stalin, then @Grebgreb@hexbear.net or i_gargle_good, you're both tied up

[โ€“] Edie@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

Whoever does the Sunday Night Kino/Hextube watch parties should be radio and TV

Wombat

[โ€“] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

Taught me satisfactory so they'd do heavy industry

rat-salute

I got these little dudes working overtime to produce explosives for the Hexbear defense initiative

[โ€“] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I graciously accept this nomination as commander of a new red army. I was formerly a Marine in the fascist empire of Amerikkka, but their education and command of me is what ultimately radicalized me. In response, I will form our forces into a twisted mirror that will strike terror into the heart of the fascist mass murderer forces. The imperialists will not only die, they will see a reflection of military force that represents true justice and die in despair!! For they will know in those moments that they will be remembered, unnamed, for the evil they wrought; and know that if there be a hereafter it will be lothesome for them!

No longer will the proletariat suffer under the boot heel of tyrany, they will taste liberation and peace through the vanquishing of a minority of people who wake daily and make the decision to betray their own flesh and blood. The free peoples of the new nation that we found shall rest well at night knowing that a stalwart vanguard of their comrades stand watch over us all. Just as we all have kept watch on the barricades when our time came. Together, we will protect the peace at home!

The old, hollow recruiting slogans of the fascists forces of "honor", "courage", and "commitment" will be the daily action of the People's New Red Army - not a practice of allegiance to a colored piece of cloth and a shadowy government that it obscures the misdeeds of, but allegiance to the flesh and bone of our neighbors and an ever burning desire for the well-being of all man kind!!! War shall never again be fomented for the profit of vampiric capitalists, who invent new enemies and schemes that build toward complete annihilation - war will become the tool of the will of the people, to protect the means that we have, so we may build the means that we do not!

As commander of our new glorious army, we will forge and temper ourselves into the most terrific fighting force the history books shall ever chronicle!!! A force, driven by deep knowledge and understanding of the anti-human and anti-life ideologies that we will hunt to the ends of the earth!!! Every head of the capitalist hydra will fall, and the heart of the beast shall be pierced, and we will share the spoils across the land!! We shall wield the corrective hellfire of The Revolution and set right the great injustice against the world that we have tolerated for far too long!! And my dear comrades, the ashes left behind shall be as a forest fire renewing the fertility of the soil, and feeding the growth of our inevitable communist future!!!

I'm Tactical Trans Karen, and I'm...

Reporting for duty!!

rosa-salute

[โ€“] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Oh Gods we put the jarheads in charge of the military no-no-no-wait-wait-wait

Crayon MREs are back on the menu boys!!

[โ€“] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 2 weeks ago

But at least there will be plenty of delicious red crayons.

[โ€“] Edie@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

This is such a powerful speech that I may reverse my decision and put you in charge, instead of Tervell, again