I get so much smug satisfaction when Redditors feel compelled to delete their stupid comments when in the middle of an argument with me

The british never grew out of the victorian age.

CW: Crush postin'

I just bought her a 50lb bag of onions. I also picked her up and put her on my shoulder so she could grab an item off a high shelf. As a mid-size girl she was very nervous about letting me give her a shoulder ride. Tbh though my main concern that as a short king the shoulder ride wouldn't have given her enough extra hight to reach it. I would have been absolutely cooked if I failed that mission but it worked out. So like, getting your crush a resteraunt bag of onions might be the move.

Political Satire just died for real. Tom Lehrer dead at 97

FIVE years?!

😭

Complaining about meaningless shit:

Working 4 days a week: "It feels like I have so much time in-between work days"

Working 5 days a week: "It feels like I barely have any time in-between work days"

I have always had a lot of trouble being motivated to take good care of myself, beyond the most essential things. I have recently had a shift in mindstate that I hope lasts. If you want people to think positively about your ideology it helps if you show that you can live well in general.

Subconsciously people will trust others much better if they are kind, clean and fit, so I'm now fully committed to joining the swoletariat and being the best self I can be to help infuse the idea in those I interact with that communists can be trusted as a vanguard.

It's been difficult to have commitment to my physical wellness and consistently eat and sleep well, but reading Ho Chi Minh and Mao specifically about the dangers of individualism has helped me see that it is important for the future of communism to be social, healthy and athletic if one is able to be.

So comrades, be not afraid to let yourself grow and shine like a role model. If you are having difficulty being motivated or feeling down on yourself, remember that you are an essential component on the road to communism. Obviously we all have different strengths and abilities, I don't mean to disparage anyone that may have physical or other hindrances, we only need to do what we are able to.

The ravens in my neighborhood are doing something very unusual..

When they form their very noisy murder of ravens - they do so in the tallest/biggest trees in the neighborhood. They're at least ~25 feet from the ground. It's not unusual for them to be on the uppermost branches. But right now they are in a much smaller tree in my front lawn and they are just ~4 feet off the ground. Wherever I've lived in the US (plus Tokyo) - I've never seen ravens do that.

I would love to see a therapist or just get help with my mental health, but I can’t because that costs money and I have none lmao. I wonder what the point of anything is honestly

kicking and screaming, nails raking the floor as I am dragged off to watch Fantastic Four movie

My bih like Ms Rachel
Stand up like Ms Rachel
She tuff like Ms Rachel
For the kids like Ms Rachel

it is july 25 and stalin saved the world from fascism

thank god for hexbear

I want to join the PLA

the person i'm seeing told me i am less of a "rascal" and more of a "troll" - and frankly?? i feel f*cking shattered...

unseen at levels i did not think were possible, previously

separation is what's real - feelings of oneness, illusory

What the fuck do you mean Groudon is a pure ground type?! WHAT THE FUCK?! I thought they were a pure fire type until a month ago. I played Ruby! I feel like I got the Mandela effect shoved down my throat. I thought they were lying to me.

Just noticed for a project one of the source files is “le_main.py”. Do I tell my coworker she is cringe, reddit, and a soylennial?

When you're thirsty, cold water hits like nothing else.

When you're hungry, it's spaghetti. Spaghetti hits extra hard and tastes extra good when you're hungry.

it is july 23 and stalin saved the world from fascism

Amazing how you can be watching one of those content-stealing "spooky stuff" youtube channels and one of the featured stories will literally just be "[droning ambient sounds] a tragic accident happened in china and according to some guys on reddit their evil authoritarian government tried to cover up some details isn't that spooky aren't you spooked??"

so uh..."securely" attached "people," what's the deal w/ that???

Daniel Bernoulli be like heh I'm gonna invent a physical effect that will make it annoying for everyone to pour liquid from one vessel to another science's greatest troll

Bought a Flipper Zero. I have specific plans for this thing.

it is july 21 and stalin saved the world from fascism

What if you sculpted an aztec death whistle into the body of a kamikaze drone so it screams as it descends towards it's target? That would sure suck

solar freaking roadways

I think there's almost definitely a leak or some shit in the pipes to my house because my partner just paid the water bill and it was like $170 and it says it's basically $30 plus $7.69 for every 1000 gallons and idk but im pretty sure there's no way we're using 20,000 gallons of water a month