There's cool and Kermit writes you a memorial letter cool.

my favorite jill stein voooter (likely fake tho, nothing on last month search matches)

microwave soup for 1:30 - cold, barely edible

microwave soup for 2:00 - third degree burns

microwave soup for 1:45 - second degree burns

microwave soup for 1:37 - first degree burns

microwave soup for 1:33 - cold, barely edible

is 1:35 the magic number?

microwave soup for 1:35 - second degree burns

Lol international affairs at lowest wtf im doing with my chungus unemployed life man.

Wtf I applied to a place and they want me to do a “Recorded video interview” why the fuck don’t they just do an in person interview??? I don’t want record myself for this shit

@EstraDoll@hexbear.net 👀👀 delayed congratulations and here's to many more

Had a Trump supporter in my cab last night, said some shit about Trump being a peaceful president. I replied "tell that to the Iranians"

Guy turns on a dime, starts ranting about how we need to randomly bomb other countries in order to "play the game of empires". I say we shouldn't play any game that kills millions of people.

I think I genuinely caused him to BSOD when I said that Iran has every legal and moral right to pursue a nuclear weapon for deterrence reasons, because America and Israel are the most dangerous and aggressive countries on the planet and it isn't even close. After that he got totally incoherent.

The ride was only like 3 minutes so it didn't really have enough time to get out of control. I dream of someday getting a ride with a chud who crosses the line and I get to kick their ass out of my cab on the side of the highway but that hasn't happened yet.

In its own way its almost amazing how this US administration manages to be literally the worst in every way. Not only are they all a bunch of fascist, misogynist, racist, anti intellectual, and plutocratic genocidaires.
They're also like... bad? Not just morally but in the sense that they're not good at anything.
They're all venal, grifting idiots. There's not a single one of them that believes in anything, has any positive trait, or has any competency.
It is literally government by awfulness. With the more awful the more power. Kakistocracy centered around a pedophilic sex criminal who can't speak in complete sentences.

Lmao you can’t make this up

A ton of liberals were celebrating because surely a fascist platformed by jubilee would lose his job once his employer learned that he was an open fascist, right? Kinda

Dude did get fired, but raised 50K shortly after and crowdfunded based on “Being fired for his political beliefs”

But yes, we should platform all ideas! You’re always right liberals, I don’t know how you do it!

In my 30s and it’s still mildly amusing to me to do a fake deep voice when checking out at the liquor store

I wish cats weren't an invasive species because its so funny seeing them interact with things

Ozzy Osbourne dead at 76. The Black Sabbath frontman passed away.

Ozzy Osbourne dies just weeks after farewell show The heavy metal star reunited with his Black Sabbath bandmates on stage at Villa Park earlier in July. Heavy metal star Ozzy Osbourne has died, just weeks after reuniting with his Black Sabbath bandmates and performing a huge farewell concert for fans. In a statement, his family said: "It is with more sadness than mere words can convey that we have to report that our beloved Ozzy Osbourne has passed away this morning. He was with his family and surrounded by love." As he performed from a throne on stage at Villa Park less than three weeks ago, Osbourne told fans: "You've no idea how I feel - thank you from the bottom of my heart."

• Sky News

I realize the absurdity of getting mad at things online but I can’t help it. I just can’t

I stumbled upon a thread with a bunch of Silicon Valley 20 something’s circlejerking about how LLMs have solved consciousness and definitively proven that thinking is just tokenizing. I hate it. I truly despise it with every ounce of my being

Coworker 1 "do you think that new king of the hill reboot will be any good?"

Coworker 2 "yeah as long as they dont make it woke"

Coworker 1 "yeah totally man"

Me internally "I hope you both shit your pants while you are driving today, and it gets all mushed into the seat and it'll never smell not like shit in your car again"

I was watching white lotus, and they hyped up this guy as being hung and they showed him full frontal, but he was flaccid except it kind of seemed like to make it more impressive they probably tried to get some blood flow in there. There was someone on set literally in charge of this: https://hexbear.net/comment/6163582

I still miss that first week when you were federated with world and all the other incoming reddlibs and all they did was freak about how you're 'brigading' their posts.

A close family member is having trouble with a terrible landlord... Any wholesome, empowering memes about landlords? I already got this(but it doesn't have to be about Mao):

Also, I'm out of the loop, where did that one line come from originally? You know the one:

The maoist uprising against the landlords was the largest and most comprehensive proletarian revolution in history, and led to almost totally-equal redistribution of land among the peasantry.

Is it just copypasta?

Came here to say, thanks you all for posting content. Love this place, love the critters that inhabit it. I am extremely grateful for this amazing community

Thanks to the admins and mods.

Been since summer 2021, possibly earlier.

I was never on the sub but listened to the pod. I was active on discord at the time, in the dwindling fan community of a dead podcast "ashes ashes". all it took was one crossposted meme/explanation of what chapo.chat was and I was gone and never looked back 😸

Thanks for making the site so I never had to use discord

you never hear people calling condoms "scumbags" anymore. in fact i don't think i ever have in real life and i only encountered that meaning for the first time last night in a book

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Actually I love the "character has far more progressive mindset than most people at that time" trope. Its pretty relatable at least.

Hell, there were christian monks who were against crusades at like 1100, a minority sure, but they existed!

Guy who reads the terms and conditions as an act of political education in liberalism. Read theory, folx

The year is 4566 CE. Representatives from China and America meet to discuss trade and diplomacy, and mark the beginning of their discussions by ceremonially agreeing to "extend the tariff deadline." This ritual has marked every diplomatic meeting between the two civilizations, encompassing multiple states since time immemorial. Why the two countries do this is debated among scholars and historians, but the origin of the ritual is ultimately unknown.

Taking a moment to thank some of our fallen posters @zifnab25 @Frank @EugeneVDabs

May we meet again in the big phpBB in the sky

In respect for Ozzy we should all piss on the Alamo

If i were Snake in MGS3

The Boss: Im Defecting to the Soviet Union.

Me: that rocks. I was gonna do the same thing. I was bringing Sokolov out of the base to use him as a hostage while negotiating my defection. Im giving him back, I just want them to hear me out without shooting me.

Volgin shows up

Me: I heard you hate Kruschev! Same! Fuck that guy! Wowee! This is even better than defecting to the Soviet government! I can defect to a faction trying to get things back on track. As an American...corn sucks.

The Boss- still kicks the shit out of me and throws me off a bridge

jesus there's going to be a thousand dogshit AI "tributes" whenever a big celebrity dies from now on, that's it, I'm going to live in the forest goodbye

I can't believe the only forum on the internet is already 5 years old

One of my long time friends who has always been a bit of a chud has actually started listening to me and agreeing with me about leftist stuff. I think the fact that the economy is fucking them has something to do with it. They've recently even been sending me like, pro-communist stuff. I'm surprised.

The idea: roundabouts are one of the most effective forms of traffic control for intersections, as demonstrated by places outside the US

The reality: roundabouts are effective as long as Americans aren't using them

Gotta move a CNC program onto a machine. These Wire EDMs are one of the few machines on the shop floor which don't have FANUC controllers, which means instead of sending the program over RS-232 we can do fancy shit like SMB. So I double-click on the desktop shortcut for the machine's network share. Windows says "this resource has moved." No it fucking hasn't, it weighs at least eight thousand pounds. I click OK, Windows automatically deletes the shortcut. Motherfucker, that shortcut had the machine's IP address in it and now you've left me with nothing but my dick in my hands.

In summary, fuck Microsoft.

I've noticed that beans don't actually make me fart that much

Looking for a second job now. The sober living president told me I have to find a new job, but my mom vetoed me leaving my current job because of just how supportive they've been to me in my recovery/when I was in active addiction.

The higher ups have started cutting down on labor hours, so I've really been struggling recently, barely making enough to survive. But the people at my job have really earned my loyalty, being some of my biggest supporters at times that I don't even know if I deserved it. I'm still looking for a second job, but especially after the conversation with my mom, I'm dead set on not leaving this job

wtf is this trend of people referring to liking things as "autism"

no you don't have "dinosaur autism" you just think dinosaurs are cool, because they are

It is currently 32 degrees Celsius inside my apartment

Feeling quite today.

Happy Birthday, Hexbear! It's a pleasure to be comrades with the likes of such infamously power-posting, well-informed, and unreasonable tankies.

Unfortunately, my celebration is short-lived. I used to be as Hexagonal of a Bear as they come, but today I made a post to the news mega saying

I used to be as Left as they come, but China banned each of my two attempts at making a rednote account stating I am allegedly trying to create too many accounts.

Now I will only eat burger and watch Fox News. Great job alienating your biggest supporters, Xi.

The mods responded in typical authoritarian fashion and quickly removed my post right before it went viral, claiming it's in the "wrong thread". This has gone too far, we all know it's because this place is run by China shills that don't allow criticism of the totalitarian CCP. I can't take the abuse and harassment at Hexbear for speaking the truth anymore, this instance is officially dead. Now I'm going to be moving onto a platform that respects free speech and my unpopular anti-China views, like X or reddit. This place has gone downhill ever since Dirt_Owl left.

Was pointing out some flowers to my niece and I'm like 'that's a wattle' and she was like 'waddle like a penguin?'. Eh, close enough