My wife is very superstitious and I have never believed in ghosts or anything like that. Aliens, ghosts, magic, religions, totally confident that they aren’t real. When she told me she heard a weird voice calling her name one night I was incredibly skeptical and told her she was definitely dreaming because we live nowhere near anybody and it was -30 that night.
I am never gonna tell her I heard the voice too.
Sounds like your wife is having an affair with carbon monoxide
Seriously check for it or buy a good detector
Bruh.. That voice was most definitely a magic ghost alien..
A religious magic ghost alien!!
You mean a teenage mutant ghost alien?
Not even aliens? You really think there's zero other life forms in this universe?
I also don't believe in aliens. The cliche Hollywood aliens that is that will abduct you and put probes inside you.
Im sure that there are other lifeforms in some other system just not the flying sorcerer type.
Im sure that there are other lifeforms in some other system just not the flying sorcerer type.
Ugh, I hope you're right. Flying aliens would be bad enough. But if the bastards can muticlass and use magic as well... we'd be doomed.
Just setup a fountain with a toxic chemical in it with a sign to not drink from it. Based on every party I have ever been on half of them will be dead in minutes.
Do other lifeforms exist? Sure. Have any ever visited earth? Definitely not.
Thirdly, if they were to visit Earth, do you really think that given the difficulty of traversing space, that you'd be able to identify signs of their arrival?
Is your wife's name "woosh"?
My wife and I were (emphasis on WERE) raised in very religious circles and as such we were "saving ourselves" for marriage at the beginning of our relationship. I was already drifting away from the religious world and thought this practice was dumb but loved her enough for innumerable other reasons that I would go through basically whatever to wait for her.
4 years into our 7 year dating relationship I was very stupid and ended up having a drunken three way with two of her best friends in a public park. Long story. My S.O. never found out from any of us.
One of the women contacted me nearly a decade later drunk and crying in order to confess that she had gotten pregnant from the encounter and had gotten an abortion with her parents help but never told anyone else.
My wife and I dated for 7 years and have been married for just short of 9 years. I moved us to the other side of the country for work to limit the possible interactions with her former friends, and encouraged her in many ways to have as large a friend group as possible in our new life to curtail the desire to reach out to our old group. New address and new phone numbers to make it more difficult for people to find us out of the blue. This will never see the light of day in our relationship.
I love my wife to the ends of the earth and back, this is the one thing (other than the consistency of my bowel movements) I will ever keep from her.
Edit: Spelling
Holy shit
I’m not sure you understand the term “take it to the grave”.
This, every once in a while I consider sharing with my closest friend... And then nah
Don't answer, the OP is a demon looking for a reason to kill you.
My secret is that I know I'm actually the only real human, and everybody else are aliens posing as humans to study my behavior. That's why I purposefully make random decisions and actions from time to time, to throw them off.
I still have to figure out if I'm the last human alive, if every remaining human is being studied like me, or if there is a real human society somewhere.
That's why I purposefully make random decisions and actions from time to time, to their them off.
It's working... we've successfully tricked him into thinking he has free will.
Woooo I am gonna lay my eggs in your stomach woooo 🛸
I suppose we should tell them now.
You're not actual a "real human." You're an alien just like us, but we convinced you that you were human so we could study "human behavior". One behavior we've identified is paranoia.
Reminds me so much of a particular Philip K. Dick story. A solider's tour in Korea is over and returning home he notices that everything is fake. Artificial sweetener, instant coffee, faux leather shoes, hair styles, etc. He gets the idea that the aliens took over the US and setup a few fake burbs for the soldiers returning home, to isolate them and eventually pick them off one by one.
How much my flute cost. (It's from my fun money, and a bargain for what it is, but still.)
You don’t want to flaunt flute failings
The complete past-lovers list. (not a cheat/just needless drama)
The... The what now?
The people you've had sex with before you met your partner. Your body count. There's no reason to bring that up, it just invites drama once you're in a committed relationship
My partner and I have almost the exact same kind of history lawl. Some of their exes are lovely. One is ADORABLE.
When she snores I pinch her nose shut until she stops.
Snoring is often a sign of sleep apnea, which is easily treatable. Your wife should take a sleep test to see if she has it. Can take years off your life if left undiagnosed.
For her it’s usually a sign that she had 3 or 4 too many white claws before she went to bed.
Your wife must be a deep sleeper. Mine would be awake in an instant.
You could try to fix this from a very different angle by buying those strips for the nose against snoring. Those strips can temporarily unobstruct the air flow in the nose.
Oh that I tell her in the morning
I shat myself in 2018
I hate that sweater.
It wasn't an accident.
I hate quiche. She thought I love quiche and was so proud of herself every time she would make it. Never told her otherwise.
Nice try Susan! You're not going to get me to confess THAT easily.
By the way, child support may be a little late this moth ...
I'll see you at Christmas dinner
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
