You guys are dicks. He only looks like that because he usually lives under a lot of water and some asshole fisherman pulled him up, so his body literally decompressed at the surface. Try to be better?
this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2025
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Does he know Old Gregg?
He knows him, and he's seen him, and he loves him.
The real question is whether he's drunk Bailey's from a shoe.
"And you do you want your beard?"
"Just copy/paste my mustache to my chin. I'm a busy man."
He is the Lorax. He speaks for the trees.
Many people can't grow a mustache, this guy grew two
Like legit, how does he eat a burger?
He doesn't. He eats krill. Maybe read OP?
Could we feed him a burger to see what happens?
I feel like unless it's a krill burger, he wouldn't even be interested.
We'll just spread a layer of krill over the burger and trick him into eating it.
Why are you trying to trick this noble creature into eating a fucking burger?
For science!
A real biologist would respect the creatures they researched.
That's why I'm a fake biologist! No need for pesky regulations. I'm just out there feeding burgers to wild animals.
Its not about asking whether you should, instead of if you can. Maybe also do that, or dont; idk, I wouldn't mind dinosaurs. Its about compassion for the great beasts and slime molds and gross insects.
Most of them are pretty chill about it, they like them.
I was more wondering about how he ate soup tbh.
Does he stay away from soup entirely, or does he do a two handed lift and slurp manoeuvre, or is it full strainer mode with an added bristle lick and slurp at the end?
Enquiring minds need to know!!!
It think the soup slowly filters though it and drip feeds him over a period of time.
when I had a long mustache I had to kinda form it up onto my lips and curl it up in order to eat. I imagine this guy has to take a comb to it and get it moved upward
With a knife and fork like any other civilised person.
I initially thought this was a reply to the soup one so this is especially funny to me
I can imagine an posh British etiquette expert selling this with a straight face.
Twice, I'd imagine.
But why would this man do this?
Sweet sweet krill
Hey! Stop making fun of Jamie Hyneman!
In case you wanted to know, he’s a former executive for the NFL’s Tennessee Titans.
Dudes got fuck you money and fuck you facial hair
I'm quite jealous of his head hair too.
Dr. Zoidberg!