this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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top 50 comments
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[–] kshade@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago
[–] Yareckt@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 12 hours ago

Maybe I can keep riding trains until most of them have died from exhaustion.

[–] ftbd@feddit.org 8 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I've seen so many of these, I forgot what the guy actually looks like

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

I remember him looking basically like an IASIP character who might try to turn Mac straight and ruin his marriage in the attempt

[–] halvar@lemy.lol 1 points 12 hours ago

who needs insects up their assholes i got fucking mosquitoes trying to kill me just here

[–] Soapbox@lemmy.zip 1 points 17 hours ago

I guess I'm going to live in a beekeeper suit treated with permethrin.

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 57 points 1 day ago

First, I save this meme to my phone.

Second, I attempt to legally enter the US.

Third, I have all my rights revoked and get kidnapped by ICE.

Fourth, I wait and watch as the insects all get eaten before they can get to me.

See, being detained by Trump and his lizard people doesn't have to be all bad.

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago

Rapidly dig a small hole in the ground and resolve to place a donkey in it. This is now my "ass hole"

Then run away as fast as possible to survive the impending insect plague

[–] Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Try not to finish too quickly

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People like you are what makes the world a unique and beautiful place.

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

I think your username is more appropriate here

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 33 points 1 day ago

Get an only fans page and cash in on people's weird fetishes.

[–] TimeNaan@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Buy lifelong supply of wine corks.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

without a base without a trace

just get yourself a lifetime supply of buttplugs like a responsible adult

[–] Havald@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

What I can't see can't hurt me

[–] DeceasedPassenger@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Immediately kill myself as quick as possible. That's genuinely one of my worst fears is being entered by a bug. I have an obsessive habit of wiping the inside/underneath the lip of the toilet every time I use it just in case there could be a spider. There has never been a spider. Yet I'm compelled to do it every single time.

[–] Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago

Lucky you, I just imagine one of those hawaiian centipedes snuggly chilling there and looking for a home

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] halvar@lemy.lol 1 points 12 hours ago

are you my mommy?

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Im always that guy but i would go to some kind of official or something so they csn investigate it because thats some freaky shit. Also to not ruin the whole fucking ecosystem of earth id guess theres a range on it? Thats what i would try to figure out so i can keep em out. Of course if i dont act in time and/or fail to accomplish my mission to keep em out of my ass i would just violently fucking kill myself. Its not worth it to live with fucking bugs in your ass.

Well, enough insects out there are venomous/poisonous so you probably wouldn't survive long anyway.

[–] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] HowAbt2day@futurology.today 3 points 1 day ago

What part of the gecko are gonna glue to that dainty taint?

[–] gratux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] hoch@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

E-stim version doubles as a bug zapper

[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

do you really need the threat of butthole bugs to wear a butt plug though?

[–] tino@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Fight back. Eat chili.

[–] Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sit back, relax, and enjoy myself.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 1 points 16 hours ago
[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Die for a good cause to spare Earth from the immediate ecological collapse of all bugs going to one place.

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 12 points 1 day ago

Charge them rent and use that money to buy a social media company.

[–] loomy@lemy.lol 4 points 1 day ago
[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Station my chameleon by my booty and prepare to shoot myself in the face.

Imagine every insect that can walk, crawl, or fly bombarding your dwelling. Fuck it, throw arachnids in there as well. They will find a way in, you will be covered head-to-toe in swarming insects of 1,000 varieties.

Depending on where you live, you got a hour, maybe a whole day. But they'll eventually break the windows and doors. At that time, your ass will belong to them.

In other news, I'm considering a new horror short.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

A great deal of what we'd call insects outside of the scientific community are so small you can either barely see them or can't see them at all unaided. The larger bugs would be getting sloppy seconds.

Start an only fans, some freaks out there and I’m finna get rich

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Start by switching from boxers to briefs.

Enjoy my last day on earth with a citronella candle up my ass

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Formiphilia is like the worst fetish...🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Take a looong bath.

Insects can’t survive under water

[–] FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 points 16 hours ago

Damn, I just responded to a comment with the exact same thing. Great minds I guess

[–] monogram@feddit.nl 5 points 1 day ago

Buy a dilator

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I choked on my coffee when this scrolled on screen.

[–] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago
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