this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
572 points (99.1% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
32764 readers
4112 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
“RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”
Is that him or the worm talking?
load more comments
(1 replies)
Several years back, I went to the store at the beginning of summer to get some foam pool noodles for the pool. I couldn't find them anywhere, not even Walmart.
The next spring, they were everywhere, but they all included a tag or sticker that read "Not to be inserted rectally."
So we had to go a summer without pool noodles so the government regulators could protect us against some butt stuff some weirdo tried.
if you can shove a pool noodle up yer arse, I don't think the government should tell you not too
FLARED. BASE.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
I have so many questions about the train of thought that led to this… situation.
I reckon a friend of theirs was looking for something real hard.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Sunglasses? Really? Didn't have any better objects? C'mon.
Bread 🥖
What goes up must always come down
My body, my choice.
Doctor: can you at least wait a few seconds after you take them out of the deep fryer next time?
I have moved on to egg rolls.
Well I am on pineapple satay skewers. Get with the now.
Challenge accepted!
Just watch me motherfucker
If only there was a better way...
I wasn’t going to, but now you’ve got me thinking about it.
It's the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan's eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they've fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn't get Thursdays off, it's been a minute.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
First they told us not to eat the yellow snow, now they're telling us not to stick spring rolls up our poop chutes. It's like doctors don't want us to find any joy in our lives.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Well DUH! It's summer idiots.
I'm sure you can get frozen spring rolls
Thank god I'm not a patient then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
For now
Doctors don't know what you put in your but if you also shove an apple up there beforehand.
Use summer rolls instead. They're usually bigger anyway.
Well, I wasn't going to before, but now I am wondering what hidden secrets they are keeping from us??
THIS IS AMERICA, GOD DAMMIT, THE LIBERAL MARXIST GLOBALISTS ARE TRYING TO CONTROL HOW I EAT MY FOOD, GO TO HELL YOU COMMIE BASTARDS
Fuckin' big pharma. I ain't sticking Pfizer's goddamn wantons up there, I'm sticking with PF Changs just like my paw-pee and his pee-paw before 'em.
just gonna leave this here https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/doctors-warning-people-not-insert-17802129
load more comments
(1 replies)
The new sexually frustrated boomer trend
A spring roll a day…
"Breaking news"
If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?
No. Secret third thing. If you find out, do not tell them.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Doctors are giving this patient a new idea he'd never considered before.
view more: next ›