All you authors, columnists, and other motherfuckers not using the Oxford comma are now in big trouble.
this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2025
54 points (98.2% liked)
Ask Lemmy
28625 readers
2125 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
This could've been a delightful meta joke, and I was disappointed to see that it wasn't.
Turn on your turn indicator, take a few seconds to check that the lane is clear, then proceed
Turn it off and on again before asking someone for help
Look up the word in the dictionary instead of just assuming you know what it means from context and usage
Dictionaries don't say what's right; they just say what's popular.
Example: say "process" out loud. Now say "protest". If the first part doesn't sound the same but each sounds normal, you've discovered something that is wrong but popular.
there is no more light mode for anything at all
I'll go for a serious answer.
When driving, particularly on freeways and highways, everyone must now leave a lot of space between them and the car ahead proportional to how fast they are going - even in heavy traffic. And they must allow a car that is signalling properly to merge into their lane. (But not like a bunch of cars at a time of course)
Everyone must also start to decelerate as soon as they see brake lights ahead or notice slowing, but they have more space (starting further back in the road), so won't have to decelerate as strongly as the car ahead is and will reach a higher minimum speed or be stopped for less time when the car ahead starts accelerating again.
I believe this would mostly end stop-and-go traffic and smooth out all slow traffic (increasing fuel economy and reducing stress) by reducing/eliminating traffic waves. Probably even increase average speeds (but I'm less sure about that)
If you start a cult, I'd join.
100000% this. I legit think we should run ad campaigns to educate drivers. It's less stressful, easier on your brakes and your gas tank. If enough ppl did it I legit think it would have a decent little impact for the environment. Going from 0 to 30 to 40 mph, then quickly going back down to 0 has got to burn so much gas than just coasting between 10 and 20 the whole time
load more comments
(3 replies)
Tabs are better than spaces
As long as a tab is just 4 spaces
- presses tab to add space between words
- changes field
i,don't,think,that'll,work
Auto > Light/Dark mode
Smoking joints is now illegal. Everyone must use a battery-free vaporiser.
Car bad.
YYYY/MM/DD or riot. 24H time or public execution.
I use Arch btw
Pirate everything.
Pink lemonade is better than regular.
Ramen is made with the flavour packet first, then boiling the noodles in the already-made broth.
The confirm button on a controller goes on the right. Cancel is bottom. Nintendo layout supremacy, fuck you.
You will pet every dog you see without hesitation, even if they growl at you. The tax must be paid.
Trackpad > Mouse
Caffeine is now illegal. Force yourself to stay awake and make it everyone else's problem for enforcing stupid work hours.
I can get behind most of these, but:
Trackpad > Mouse
I think you have a typo, surely you meant "trackball > mouse". Obviouly trackpads are abomnations that have no place in polite company, so you couldn't have meant them.
Caffeine is now illegal. Force yourself to stay awake and make it everyone else's problem for enforcing stupid work hours.
You know not what you say, there are strict rules about not letting me interact with other humans before caffeine. That Geneva Convention has things to say about it.
- We eating chips and popcorn with chopsticks now.
You're welcome for cleaner fingers and everything you touch with them.
-
Beer ain't getting served without some sorta pickle.
-
Pets will be told about foods, walks, and treats in a foreign language as to prevent them getting excited about things they love during normal conversations
-
More ducks than chickens. Duck eggs are better, duck meat is better, duck fat is better than schmaltz
-
It's now so wildly normal for men to wear crop tops
You're fucking welcome
- You're getting paid for your commute time now. Your employer is covering tolls, transit passes etc.
- You're getting paid for your commute time now. Your employer is covering tolls, transit passes etc.
I wonder how fast they would start allowing work from home again.
Not that fast really. It's pretty common in europe if you can ride a train and work en route. I've even seen people compensated for driving time & gas.
load more comments
(10 replies)
Everyone must now put off literally EVERYTHING until the very last minute.
This is the way!
Okay. I'll implement this change on Friday at 4.30pm.
Were you not listening?
Implement it at 4:59.
The last minute to implement a change is on Thursday. No changes on Friday, for the same reason there are no changes on Saturday.
So it should be on Thursday at 4:59.
Good point. Better just deal with it next week.
Eating a banana. First you bite both heads off, then sink your front teeth into one end to nibble away one third, then separate the other two thirds and eat them separately. You can think of them as the corpora cavernosa and the corpus spongiosum to maintain the penis-analogue in a slightly more disturbing form.
TV series now have 25 episodes a season.
Five season minimum.
All TV series are released on physical disc after one year (the creator of the show can choose a smaller amount of time if they want, but never longer). After one year it MUST BE on disc.
Blu-ray Disc at a minimum. Can choose 4k if the creator of the show wants. Can do both.
Federal penalties if the show is cancelled early.
Next
All devices that require an always on connection, must have a patch to allow the device to work if the server is ever pulled offline.
Subscription based services must provide an actual benefit. Not a “well the company wants more money so they’re just going to create a subscription service”… looking at the companies that make heated steering wheels in cars subscription based.
TV series now have 25 episodes a season.
Fuck no. That's how you get pointless fucking padding episodes halfway through the season where the plot and the characters just spin their wheels and nothing meaningful happens.
But, obviously what I mean by that is that your way is the right way.
No offense meant, but I’m actually confused by your response.
Are you saying that my way is the right way or my way is not the right way?
Just as an example, the TV series, Stargate SG one we had a fan favorite episode called window of opportunity. The creator of the TV series said in today’s society there’s zero chance we could ever have that episode and yet that is literally the fan favorite of the series. Window of opportunity was basically the Groundhog Day episode. Those are the Sorts of episodes that literally would not exist anymore. While you disagree and you think that we shouldn’t have those sorts of episodes and we shouldn’t “filler episodes “ I’m on the opposite side.
Although I may have misunderstood your response and maybe you meant that my way is the right way again like I said I’m a little confused.
Different people like different things and that's a good thing!
I like short, tightly plotted series that have a story to tell, that tell the story, and then end. 6-8 episodes is about right. What really turned me off to longer series was a combination of 24 (there's a fistful of episodes in the middle where Bauer's wife or daughter - I forget which - gets kidnapped, escapes, has amnesia, gets kidnapped again, turns into a goose... I don't remember all the pointless timewasting filler details, but none of it was relevant to the actual story) and Lost (it became increasingly obvious that they hadn't actually written the whole story, didn't know what the fuck was going on, same as the rest of us, and were just making shit up as they went along, and that shit wasn't very good).
The last line of my comment was me remembering the premise of this thread :)
Thank you for the response.
You're welcome!
load more comments
(2 replies)
I'm right-handed when using one handed tools and "left-handed" when using two handed tools like axes and shovels. The hand closer to the tool bit (the left hand in my case) is only there to provide support and slide around as the other hand controls the orientation and motion of the tool.
I declare my way is truly right-handed while these right-hand-in-front-of-the-left-handers are just ambidextrous pretenders
Duodecimal is provably superior, and the world now uses it instead of decimal. This means that the metric system is now base-12, and inches, feet, and yards are the common units.
Surprising to many people, very little else changes.
- Analog clocks stay the same
- There are still 12 months in the year
- Your eggs still come in dozens
- There are still 30 divisions of 12 degrees in a compass.
- There are still 12 face cards in a deck of cards
- Humans still have 12 pairs of ribs
- A bouquet of roses still has 12 flowers
- A box of doughnuts still comes with 12 doughnuts
- Colas still come in half-dozen packs, and boxes of cola still usually come in a dozen.
- Muffin trays still bake 12 muffins
- Packs of toilet tissue are still sold in some multiple of a dozen: ½-dozen, 1 dozen, or 2 dozen.
Meanwhile, everyone learns they can count to 12 on one hand, and to 144 using both hands.
Count to 31 on one hand, 1023 on both, just using the digits.
12 is easy: you have 3 phalanges on each of your 4 fingers, leaving your thumb as a placeholder to count to 12. How do you count to 31?
I'm aware of the abacus hand method, but sadly it wasn't taught when I was a kid in school, when my brain was still elastic. I'd probably have enjoyed math more if they had. Is counting to 31 part of that method?
load more comments
(10 replies)
Stop using toilet paper to wipe your ass. Only water.
view more: next ›