this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
634 points (95.4% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] LuckyPierre@lemm.ee 55 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Aww, that's sweet. A real modern day love story.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] shasta@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

More like Romeo and Romiet

[–] JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 3 days ago
[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 58 points 3 days ago (6 children)

enterprise resource planning??

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Now you know how machinists feel about CNC.

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Or psych students feel about CBT...

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[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 132 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (6 children)

be 20 y/o permavirgin

I was 22 when I had my first time. Never considered myself a permavirgin.

Happy the poster found happiness for the following reasons:

a) he got laid

b) he's no longer a virgin

c) he found happiness

d) he found someone to love and that loves him back

e) there are two more people happy in the world

but, holy turtle on a skateboard, am I really happy for having one less doofus complaining of being alone.

Bring on the hate! I love you all!

[–] SitD@lemy.lol 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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[–] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 16 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I was 29 years old when I met my first girlfriend and had my first sex and I regret nothing. I didn't really realize it at the time, but I wasn't at all ready at 20 years old.

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[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 45 points 3 days ago (3 children)

It's actually easy to get laid, turns out you just have to not be afraid of people (which I am)

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Odds are with some level of effort someone is willing to fuck you unless you throw off huge danger flags. Working on your personality, appearance, and social skills just make it so your odds go from largely the sort of people who'd fuck anyone to the sort of people who are more selective

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 40 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Anon, you gotta lock that up. Get him preganat immediately

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago

That might be difficult. But keep trying anyway.

[–] lemmywinksthegerbilking@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] architectonas@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

fast forward

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 87 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Fake: Anyone you meet on Discord is either a murderer or a fed.

Gay: Self-evident.

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 1 points 1 day ago

Yes, that's what's gay about this, nothing else. /s

[–] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I mean... Nothing in this story implies femboy isn't a fed, and just really committed to the bit.

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[–] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Can confirm, met several people from discord, am now dead.

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[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 122 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I wonder how long the "pretends" remains a thing

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 108 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Edit: Wrong one

The cis male urge to:

The cis male urge to:

Posted the wrong one before

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[–] peregrin5@lemm.ee 103 points 4 days ago

The solution to incels was femboy waifus all along.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 95 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Thank god they censored apeshit

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 46 points 3 days ago

Language, motherfucker! 😡

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[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 3 days ago (2 children)

20 years of virginity are rookie numbers, I'm getting those wizard powers at 30

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Be careful to keept it then. My people are watching. If you lose your Virginity there go the powers.

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[–] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 60 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Where these housewife Discord femboys in the room with us right now?

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[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 53 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Twinkdeath gonna hit them like a truck

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 30 points 3 days ago (10 children)

To expand on that, there are no successful fem-men for good reason. So around the age of 30 "twink death" will set in, and anon will go longer like his former femboy, at least not for that part of him.

Unlike most gay men, he's probably not actually comfortable being with a man. They're not prepared to grow old together because he relies on his boyfriend's ability to maintain his suspension of disbelief. That will almost certainly no longer be possible after twink death no matter how hard he tries.

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[–] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 38 points 3 days ago (6 children)
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[–] Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com 40 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Me when I'm attracted to feminine, no matter the source.

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[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 42 points 4 days ago (7 children)

I've spent like 5 minutes searching and still cannot get a definitive answer. wth is the qualifier that makes a sundress "anime?"

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 57 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (15 children)

The zoomer incel gooner that spends weeks or months ERPing in discord consumes only anime as media and does not ever see an actual woman in an actual sundress, in media or the real world.

Thus, to them, all sundresses are anime sundresses.

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[–] PineRune@lemmy.world 49 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] GNUmer@sopuli.xyz 35 points 4 days ago

Real: Dude thought he was going to be a permavirgin at age 20

Gay: He's pinning a Discord femboy

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