this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

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2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 5 points 2 hours ago

And it squeals out too. High pitched squeal noise

[–] UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Pulling the condom out with it fighting its way back in...

[–] TheNamlessGuy@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

What do I look like, some sort of renegade angel?

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 10 points 8 hours ago

I'd have kept them in my fish tank.

[–] DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

((Alien facehugger screech SFX here))

[–] febjuv@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Ok, switching to my horny account to post this (for hopefully obvious reasons):

I'm really into excessive cum. Samething about being able to fill a quart jug or more gets me going.

But for SOME GODDAMN REASON others who are into that shit also post this shit unironically as if it's the same fetish. Like what the fuck. I just have to scroll really fast and hope I don't lose all my arousal. FUCK

[–] duckythescientist@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

This isn't my horny account. Or maybe rather all my accounts are definitionally horny.

Got any good links/sites?

[–] febjuv@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 4 hours ago

I've mostly settled into looking at rule34.xxx for that specific fetish, a lot of that stuff gets posted there. excessive_cum is a widely used tag (I believe related sites like gelbooru and e621 use the same tag, but it's been a while / haven't used that site respectively). cumflation is often a good proxy for it too, but is as different from that as this whole big sperm thing so it depends on if you're actually into that. Though keep in mind any good gallery has some advanced search features, so you should be able to put for example excessive_cum -hyper_sperm to get stuff with excessive_cum but not hyper_sperm. Searching hyper_sperm is actually a much rarer tag than I thought though so maybe there's another tag I'm not aware of. Also putting sort:score in the search makes it like a "Top: all time" like you see here on lemmy.

4chan's /d/ board usually has a very slow but active excessive cum thread. It's also where most of my annoyance with hyper sperm comes from, so go figure. Oftentimes the OP will even specifically request it which kinda ruins the thread for me.

One artist I follow (that I believe is active on that /d/ thread) is pwcsponson. He does mostly hyper (including hyper sperm occasionally 😠), so chances are you'd have the same reaction to the general hyper-ness as with the hyper sperm. I don't for whatever reason, so I like it.

Non hentai/drawn stuff is way harder to find because for whatever reason the tagging is terrible. Creamy Spot on pornhub (and presumably other places) is the one channel I find consistently does it, and like with most real stuff you won't find it by searching "excessive cum". I believe the term I searched to find her was "fake cum"? I barely remember. Hentaied also have a category of videos for this stuff and are more professionally shot, but it's almost too professional for my tastes.

realbooru could potentially be really good because it's got all the functionality of the sites mentioned at the beginning, but everything is so poorly tagged because that's just the pattern with photo/video content I guess 🤷.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Not a special account and not anything I’m into, but for any fetish, Bing Video Search.

[–] Khlo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 29 points 12 hours ago

What a terrible day to have eyes blobcat, glarezoom

[–] TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz 12 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Fun fact, fruit fly sperm is several cm in length when uncoiled.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago

It's surprisingly sweet, too!

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 8 hours ago

I was supposed to eat soon...

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 15 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Bukakke Pit Fighting.

There.

Now you have to think of that, too...

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

… two Bukakemon trainers spend weeks eating a special diet from their region imbuing their Bukakemon with innate attributes that help them in battle.

Trainers store their Bukakemon in their balls, ofc.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 5 points 9 hours ago

Arbok vs Muk

Arbok is 'Kobra' spelled backwards...

[–] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 2 points 8 hours ago

Chugging sriracha

[–] lime@feddit.nu 30 points 15 hours ago

*cups balls* "can you feel it kicking?"

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 31 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

...ya all talk about this from boy side, now think about girl side. Feeling it floppin all over inside.

I mean, they eventually do. Fetuses kick in the womb.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 25 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

You joke but now I'm designing an autonomous miniature dildo inspired by a fish and powered by AI.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 1 points 7 minutes ago

finally, a good use for ai

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago
[–] anonymous111@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

Hat Chat podcast deep cut?

[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 33 points 18 hours ago

So after vasectomy it would burst out of your balls like a xenomorph?

[–] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 78 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 29 points 19 hours ago
[–] Bezier@suppo.fi 52 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Audible plop as it comes out.

Having that thing come out would be horrifying, but so would be taking it in. That's some alien shit right there.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 44 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

start farming them, infinite food source

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Did someone hold a gun to your head to force you to type this comment or did you voluntarily choose to make us read it for some godless reason?

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 7 points 6 hours ago

Speadin the wealth

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 68 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Hey! Look at this comment! It didn't fucking need to exist. At all. Ever. What the fuck.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 6 points 15 hours ago

IDK why you don't like this thought cuz your mom swallows real good

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[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 43 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

The alternative is probably not much better:

https://lemmy.world/post/23640262 (NSFW)

[–] Sammy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Oglaf is a wacky treasure 🙏

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 8 points 15 hours ago

True. Each comic is like a box of very weird choclates.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 18 points 20 hours ago
[–] BeefPiano@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago

Eraserhead (1977)

[–] Kryptkravler@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Testament to his genius that I have only watched this movie once and I immediately knew it. It bothered me. Movies don't bother me.

I watched it about 20 years ago and I don't think I will ever again.

Fantastic movie.

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Out of morbid curiosity, what movie is it?

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Eraserhead, the first? movie by famed genius/madman David Lynch.

[–] thurstylark@lemm.ee 25 points 21 hours ago (5 children)
[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

Never knew I needed the Smartypants videos in my life. Thanks for introducing me to them 😂.

[–] Famko@lemmy.world 4 points 16 hours ago

First of all: compare with friends.

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 7 points 18 hours ago

It feels good

[–] hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

Thank you! I didn't want to have to dig up the episode by hand. The YT short missed the excellent stinger that seals this joke.

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[–] cyrano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 18 hours ago
[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 8 points 19 hours ago

Remember, if you masturbate you are murdering billions of innocent sperm. You're literally Charles Manson if you do this.

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